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Comments from Fapworthy Diction
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2016-01-15 16:51:03 | Fucks on a plane | Hi Anon! Thanks for reading, and for taking the time to comment. This is the only story in which I've experimented with 2nd person perspective, and I feel like it did a pretty good job of helping to convey the intimacy these two characters shared despite the very public setting. I actually wanted very much for this story to be a conversation between two people that the reader could listen in on. Given your comment, I suspect you found the perspective distracting? Did it perhaps make you feel as if you were more invested in the female role? Honestly curious and would love to hear more from you. Thanks again! |
| 2016-01-21 23:56:56 | How to train your fratboy (ch 4) | I'm really enjoying the comments I'm getting on this story hehe. I am not letting any of you anon's tie me up any time soon ;-D. In fact, given the comments up to this point I'm a little fascinated that this chapter is getting downvoted as mercilessly as it is. I would have thought it'd be the popular one given that the others are pretty tame by comparison. I'm not sure what to make of it.. whether I've crossed a line with the readership WRT humiliation vs outright violence. I have pretty well-conceived plans for Bradly long term, but please do leave me a comment and let me know what you'd like to see him put through! Thanks! -fap |
| 2016-02-03 04:39:05 | My Husband, My Slave | Good job, I really enjoyed this one. Her monologue is very effective and I like how she tells him everything she's going to do before she does it. Also A+ with the device of tying John's self-worth to his paycheck and using that against him (although that could have been played up more). As a reader I'd also appreciate a little more perspective from John. I know you're trying to maintain her perspective, but you could do things like "He blinked in shock when I said the world cuckolhold, so I paused to let the word sink in. I could see him imagining it. How he would sit obediently at the foot of our bed as another man fucked me. A better man..." just, you know, a little bit more of John's insides for the reader to sink their teeth into. |
| 2016-02-04 16:37:52 | How to train your fratboy (Ch5) | Awesome! Thanks for the comment, and I agree 100%. Initially I'd planned to write out every encounter in his training sessions with the whole house, but I'm also feeling like it's time to let poor Bradley off the hook and move the story forward. Pretty sure we all get the gist by now. In fact, as I write this, Chapter 6 is already saved in publish mode, and it begins several hours after this chapter ends. I open with just a little bit of brutal aftermath and then literally hit the showers. Longer term, things are going to get much better for Bradley as he eases into his place. Without giving away too much, if we were drawing a line-graph of brutality in this story, we're right at the peak of the bell curve currently. It's all downhill from here. Again, I'm genuinely grateful for everyone's comments. I'm new to erotica and I'm finding it surprisingly difficult to maintain a good pace and balance with stories like this one. |
| 2016-02-11 00:03:01 | How to train your fratboy (Ch 7) | you will see the video files? You sound like a cold-war era spy sending secret messages to other cold-ware era spies. Are you a time travelling spy from the 80's? The promontory is bookmarked . I repeat, the promontory is bookmarked. |