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Comments from soulfirephoenix
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2017-03-27 15:15:54 | My first Time_(50) | Than is used to contrast, then is used to organise things in sequence. Use punctuation. I can't tell where your thoughts and sentences are supposed to end. Either tell it from his perspective or second person but don't switch between the two. Last thing you need to do is go through and proofread it. Do all that and I'm sure this will be a great story. |