| 2018-06-11 00:36:15 |
Lindsey: An unlikely Romance part 3
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It would seem part 4 is missing. |
| 2018-06-11 00:44:40 |
Growing up Polygamy 3!
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Been 16 months. Are you planning on finishing this series or has it fizzled and died? |
| 2019-09-15 23:27:27 |
My new next door neighbor_(1)
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Bouncing between first and third person in the way you are makes this story very hard to read or appreciate. Its not a bad plot, but the view really needs to stay mostly in one perspective, or at least break it up and label the viewpoint changes and stick to them until the next change. |
| 2020-12-04 04:51:01 |
Skylar at the Beach
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In your future work, try not to repeat yourself every few sentences. You do not need to continuously say "I told her to relax" or "I didn't want her to stop me" as many times as you did. It really takes away from being able to read this fluidly. |