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Comments from onenite
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2010-12-03 16:32:45 | I told her | Nice beginning, now fill in the back story to build up the characters...... Why is she out begging/prostituting, does she have a home or is she living on the streets ? Who is he besides a mall cop ? married,family man, or a lonely man looking for someone to take care of ? What's her "you remind me of my daddy" story ? There is so many ways you can take this story. I look forward to the next chapter. |
| 2010-12-03 16:33:17 | I told her | Nice beginning, now fill in the back story to build up the characters...... Why is she out begging/prostituting, does she have a home or is she living on the streets ? Who is he besides a mall cop ? married,family man, or a lonely man looking for someone to take care of ? What's her "you remind me of my daddy" story ? There is so many ways you can take this story. I look forward to the next chapter. |
| 2010-12-03 16:33:42 | I told her | Nice beginning, now fill in the back story to build up the characters...... Why is she out begging/prostituting, does she have a home or is she living on the streets ? Who is he besides a mall cop ? married,family man, or a lonely man looking for someone to take care of ? What's her "you remind me of my daddy" story ? There is so many ways you can take this story. I look forward to the next chapter. |
| 2010-12-03 16:37:31 | I told her | Nice beginning, now build the characters. Who is she, does she have a home or is she living on the streets ? Why is she out begging/hooking ? What is her "you remind me of my daddy" story ? Who is he besides a mall cop ? Does he have a wife or family or is he just a lonely wanna be cop that lives alone ? So many ways you can you can take this story... I know where I see it going..... looking forward to the next chapter to see where you go. |
| 2010-12-27 08:39:39 | Daddy and I part | Great stories that hit real close to home. Your writing skills need some work, but that will come with more time and practice. Look forward to you sharing more of your life's story. |