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Comments from le_chevallier
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2013-04-25 22:10:47 | Marry the Bride and Fuck the Bridal Mother | Ok start with some anomalies. With mom & daughter already fooling around, seems unlikely that mom goes behind daughter's back. They would have surprised him. I'm pretty sure the 75 is centimeters which is 30 inches. A 30 D rack is impressive as it stands out on a skinny chick. They do look big (maybe not what I would call huge) on a skinny frame. I'm not sure the guy even came with his sudden departure for the bathroom and his return to scratching her back. So a good outline but could use some work. |
| 2013-05-30 00:02:39 | The Life of an Extra Ordinary Joe chapter 3 | OK, but the constant hahaha's are annoying. Writing dialogue is hard (I can't do it), but I find these constant hahaha's make the speech less realistic |
| 2013-05-31 21:45:53 | Sexual Healing - Part One | Great stuff, very nice start. Can't wait to see where it goes. |