| 2010-09-07 12:30:10 |
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First of all, you are to be commended for attempting a story in the first person which is much more difficult than third person stories. Novels about the ancient world require a great dealof research Many of the names you use don't really fit. This story is closer to mere fantasy in some ways. My suggestion is that you read well written novels about any time period you choose to write about. Your story lacks the detail such as specific clothing and armour descriptions, cultural rules, actual currency used like sesterces or tetradrams etc. Do your homework and your writing will be much better. Good luck |