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Comments from Pervetose
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2014-04-27 19:37:47 | Boy in the grass 47 | loving your story,great characters great length of chapters great posting speed great interactions great plot ...only thing i could say anything even remotely negative about and only as a comment of personal choice...maybe a little more backstory for major events ..otherwise keep this story comming and if you have posted others here or elsewhere i want to read them |
| 2012-07-22 02:49:29 | Milk of Desire, Book II, Chapter 2 : Jake & Jen went up a hill, but not before I got my fill. | IM thinking the mom is already under the influence because of the sweet butter used during dinner..did he pay close attention to who used it? did she maybe not have any then but grabbed a cookie later? lots of potential there...lots of cum blasting into these girls as well ..are any of them on the pill? |
| 2013-03-21 23:20:28 | A new day, a new me part 8 | yes definitly needs some plot ...he needs to have a rival or at least something or someone in his life has to make things wrong or difficult for him ..so far im loving the story and your characters are developing well ..but like poster above you need a plot or a story to work from could be anything maybe someone gets in an accident..maybe someone is attacked..maybe someone spies on him with a girl or lady and causes trouble somehow maybe there is a pregnancy or std scare..bring us more I know ill be reading |
| 2013-04-01 00:40:37 | My Photogenic Mom Chapter 1_(1) | its decent but yes this could use a rewrite just for paragraphs still gave you a pos rating thou |
| 2014-04-29 05:09:25 | Boy in the grass 48 | I sent a PM to the author saying write more but if he needs a break to maybe wrap up this part and then continue in a book 2 I personally want much much more out of max and his family I demanded 400 chapters /grins I wonder how many we will get |