sexstories.com
Comments from Devilcock
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2016-05-19 05:54:19 | A New Day, The Other Me chapter 6 | More intricate story, more intricate revenge. How are u planning on making him good at fighting without all the childhood training... something to think about... yep, violence and suffering to the right people is actually a great amusement |
| 2016-05-19 05:53:56 | A New Day, The Other Me chapter 6 | Nothing better than a great revenge plot. bring on the violence but make the plan intricate plz... |
| 2017-03-02 20:40:12 | A New Day, The Other Me chapter 13 | this story is starting to be disappointing by not providing enough results after making too many promises and not keeping up with the characters. Even this chapter, the promises are too much and it's suddenly has a paranormal aspect that wasn't foreshadowed in the premise, at all. The hints were towards personality sides, not the devil and his minions and their puppet Guy. Do keep in mind these issues which are very common and having faced them myself, I can tell you easily resolvable on a revision before publishing. Anyways, keep those in mind and start little payoffs or too much build up will lead to rage quit in many readers. The story is written well and alternative universe of same characters from the earlier story which has enabled you to continue up until now and keep interest from the readers. (speaking as a fan) Hope you have an outline plan or if not, do start now so each promise can be resolved in a satisfying manner. Cheers! |