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Comments from Sportive tricks
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2013-09-16 17:36:31 | Rape Gone Wrong - Chapter 2 | Both of your stories have been good. I like the feeling of continuity between them. Making them longer couldn't hurt, although if it allows you to maintain this frequency of posting, then this length is good. The only criticism I have right now is that you use "I" just a little too much. Somewhere this is evident is the third paragraph of the story.This could just have been the nature of the paragraph (the character describing what he was doing in detail), but it can tend to feel repetitive if the reader hears the same word over and over again. Keep fucking that Chicken. |
| 2013-09-16 17:37:07 | Rape Gone Wrong - Chapter 2 | Both of your stories have been good. I like the feeling of continuity between them. Making them longer couldn't hurt, although if it allows you to maintain this frequency of posting, then this length is good. The only criticism I have right now is that you use "I" just a little too much. Somewhere this is evident is the third paragraph of the story.This could just have been the nature of the paragraph (the character describing what he was doing in detail), but it can tend to feel repetitive if the reader hears the same word over and over again. Keep fucking that Chicken. |