| 2017-11-16 12:23:05 |
Light Rail Halloween
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This was actually really good. Detailed in all the right ways. I was confused at first about the whole 'into my mind' thing, but I got it after a bit. You understand his confusion at first, so it really works. I'd love to read a sequel to this. |
| 2017-11-10 15:50:27 |
A random rape and murder
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The broken English here is... quite distracting from what could have been an interesting story. Seek a beta reader / editor. |
| 2019-04-22 08:23:49 |
Untitled story of the last day of a young woman. Part II: Death
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Tenses. You swap between 'I' 'He' and even 'You' a few times. Which perspective is this supposed to be in!? |
| 2019-10-21 09:20:20 |
The Shooting Gallery_(1)
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Came in thinking this was going to be a shooting snuff story, was pleasantly surprised by it being something else entirely! good work. |
| 2020-06-05 06:12:50 |
Debt to pay : Chapter 1
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The de***********ion caught my eye, as it's similar to a story I wrote and posted some years ago on Gurochan. Then I saw the character was ALSO named Jagger... and I got suspicious. Thankfully, the similarities end there, so I'm chalking it up to a coincidence. Oh, also this story is pretty decent. |