2014-01-31 03:47:40 |
The Desk Clerk
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What the fuck is this? An erotic story or a commercial for Holiday Inn and Chi Chi's? You lost me early in the story! Concentrate on the story line and the details will follow. Besides, using their name in a published piece is a trademark infringement and you can get your sorry ass sued! Take a second look. Do a rewrite. |
2014-01-20 03:43:33 |
Daddy Aquires Lexi Chapter 1
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Very good lead in to more. Really left me ready for more. Great story line. |
2016-12-14 02:56:57 |
An Angel of Mercy
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Absolutely beautiful! Well thought out and well written. One of the f inest stories I have read here. Keep writing! You have some real talent! |
2016-12-28 01:40:38 |
Cousin Jenna
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Jesus! Use paragraphs for fuck sake ! I quit reading halfway through cause it hurt to continue! Really poorly thought out. Read some of the higher rated stories. Then go back and clean this one up. |