| 2014-08-15 13:33:53 |
My sister Kate
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I would love to be able to read your story. Please proofread before posting. The typos, run-on sentences, and grammatical errors make it very difficult. I look forward to reading the revision. |
| 2014-08-14 14:01:23 |
Who to pick? 1
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Try to be a little more discriptive, and mind your grammer. Thepart when Nikki got out of the pool could really have been a hot one. Try this... As she slowly eased herself over the did of the pool, I almost lost my breath. The water had turned her "barely there" bikini into a few pieces of see thru material that showed her eraser tip nipples." I could go on, but you get the picture. Good luck. This story has the potential to be a great series. I'm looking forward to the next part. |
| 2014-08-14 14:03:13 |
Who to pick? 1
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And sorry for my typos... doing this one handed while trying to get a baby to sleep. |