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Introduction:

From pain and grief and loss, sometimes life springs anew with hope and a second chance at happiness and love.

Love Made Over

Part 5

Cast of Characters:

Wendell Davis Anders

Gwendolyn Rene Jacobs

Marylinn (fellow waitress at the diner where Gwen works)

Katy (new waitress at the diner)

Anabell Wendy Larson (daughter of Gwendolyn Jacobs)

Randal (Randy) Wilson (second bully)



Life is full of twists and unexpected turns of events. Often, they are not welcomed or even wanted, but sometimes they are truly amazing… Such are second chances… An opportunity to set wrongs right, to make amends and to experience happiness and joy.

Wendell was alone, sitting cross-legged by her headstone. His head was hung, and he was having trouble seeing. Everything on the page was blurry… a drop falling and hitting the page of the open diary caused him to realize that he was in fact crying, again. With a muffled sigh, he gently closed the book and held it to his chest dearly as he looked up once again at her marker. “Here lies Gwendolyn Jacobs Anderson, gone too soon, but never to be forgotten” He couldn’t read the pertinent dates chiseled into the stone marking her birth and… death. His eyes again clouded and blurred as he openly wept for the one and only true love of his life. His best friend, his lover, his wife.

The news from the biopsy results had been bad. Worse, the cancer had been so far advanced that Gwen was already in stage four when it was discovered. Initially the doctors had given her maybe three months to live and had pushed hard for the latest treatments and chemo therapies. But in the end, Gwen had decried it all useless. She didn’t want to spend the last moments of time on this earth sick from chemicals and weak and weary only to prolong the inevitable. She would much rather spend her time with her husband and making arrangements for the future. One that she would not be part of.

Part of those arrangements had been to detail as much as she possibly could of her life right up to the very end, in her diary. The diary for her one and only child that she had never known or was ever able to tell how much she had loved her and hated having to give her up for adoption so long ago. In her diary she also spoke often and kindly of Wendell and his family, but especially about her friend and lover and eventually her husband. How he had always been so kind and considerate and loving. How her life, at least the last year especially had been a dream come true.

Of course, there were darker passages as well about how she regretted ever straying from her one true friend in order to find what she thought was the happiness she longed for in the acceptance of others who couldn’t care less about her. How she had been raped and degraded and thrown away. How she and her mother had struggled for so many years as her mother got weaker and weaker and finally passed away. The loneliness and longing of living by herself and simply working day in and day out in a dreary sad fog… that is, until the day that Wendell walked back into her life.

The final pages in the diary were supposed to be a letter of sorts to her daughter should that day ever come that the girl, young woman now, ever came looking for her. Gwen had told Wendell that he could of course read it if he so desired, but she would really like it to be left only for her daughter to read and understand. Wendell had promised that he wouldn’t read the final pages, unless her daughter asked him to. But he wanted to read the rest of the book up to that point. Each day, since Gwen took her final breath, Wendell had read a few pages every day. Sometimes he would laugh out loud, sometimes he would become very thoughtful, sometimes, like today, he would be overwhelmed and end up crying.

Sighing deeply once more and smiling, if sadly, Wendell reached out and placed a hand on that cold stone marker and closed his eyes briefly and wished his sweet Gwen farewell, again. Until his next visit. Wendell stood slowly and set the bouquet of daisies he had brought for her on the top of the stone and then turned and walked away towards his jeep parked nearby. The birds were singing, the wind was whispering through the spring leaves and the sun felt warm on his back as he walked, but he was not aware of any of it. God, he missed her.

Day after day, night after night, the time seemed to blur. The house was again, just a house. A place to sleep and bathe, sometimes to do office work, but it was definitely no longer a home. The warmth had gone out of it when Gwen had breathed her last. Like the house, Wendell’s heart was also cold and empty. Oh, sure, it still beat and moved his blood about, but the joy and life had gone out that day. Comfort from friends and family only went so far. He did appreciate their efforts to console him, but it just didn’t reach that empty void to even make a dent in it. So, time passed, day by day, night by lonely night.

From time to time, often on days that work ended early at the base, Wendell would still stop by the diner to have a meal or sometimes just some coffee. This place, too, was no longer as welcoming or had that feel of home anymore, but there were still friendly faces there when he could bear the pitying looks and concern for his well being from those like Marylinn. It was this day, like so many before, that found him sitting alone in a booth near the door sipping coffee and going over a new set of specs for a project he had been contracted for at the base.

“Wendell Anders! You need to eat something. I know our coffee is pretty good, but it’s not food, and you look like you could use a good meal.” Marylinn said as she stood next to the table pouring coffee into his half empty cup with her left hand and rubbing the back of his shoulder with her free right hand.

Wendell smiled, half-heartedly, glancing up into her face and shrugged. He shrugged and set his pen and papers aside for a moment and ran his hands over his face and through his hair to the back of his neck.

“Thanks Marylinn, I just don’t have much of an appetite. But I’ll try. How about some meatloaf with mashed potatoes and green beans?” Wendell said, not needing a menu as he had just about memorized it by wrote having been here so many times.

“That’s better. I’ll get right on it, sugar. Say… how are you holding up? If you ever need someone to talk to or just listen, you know I would be happy to lend an ear.” Marylinn said a little more softly, only for him to hear.

Wendell shrugged again and gave her that same tired sad smile and nodded his head before glancing back to the pile of paperwork in front of him. Marylinn sighed and patted his back once more before moving to the next table to top up another cup of coffee. She put in his order for meatloaf then went around the end of the counter into the back room out of sight, she wiped away a few tears. She was heartbroken to see Wendell so sad. She remembered how vibrant and happy he had made Gwen and how happy he had been with her. So, now… it was just heartbreaking. Pulling herself together once more she returned to work, putting on her best smile.

That same day, later in the evening after Wendell had gone on home to his empty house, the bell above the door jangled. Marylinn had her head down as she caught up with some accounting of the day’s receipts after the dinner rush had ebbed. She liked subtotaling prior to the end of her shift so that she had an easier and quicker time closing out her register before clocking out and going home. The oncoming shift waitress, a new girl was covering the counter for her as she did her figuring. Katy was newly graduated from high school and still training with an older waitress who would be arriving for her shift shortly.

Katy greeted the new arrival at the counter a few paces from Marylinn and asked what she could get her. The gal who had come into the diner looked to be a little tired, perhaps from traveling, or maybe from worry, Katy couldn’t be sure of either but was determined to be cordial and friendly all the same. The young lady had a binder with pictures and lists of names and addresses and dates and other notes that she referred to as she sipped at a cup of coffee with her free hand. She rested her weary looking face on the palm of one hand, her elbow propped on the counter beside the binder.

Marylinn had just finished up her tallying and was sorting out the receipts and order tickets in their appropriate drawers by the cash register. She glanced up at the clock and then over the counter to look out into the parking lot in search of her relief. It was then that she happened to get a glimpse out of the corner of her eye at the young lady at the counter sipping coffee and looking rather dejected as she flipped through her binder.

Katy grew worried when she saw Marylinn freeze and go pale as if she had seen a ghost. She rushed to Marylinn’s side and asked her if she were alright. Marylinn seemed to snap out of her surprised and shocked moment when Katy’s hand rested on her arm with concern. The older waitress stole a glance at Katy and nodded her head absentmindedly but turned back to look at the young lady at the counter again, more closely. The young lady was… a living ghost as far as Marylinn could discern.

Shaking off the shock and surprise, curiosity and wonder took over and had Marylinn moving closer down the back of the counter to the young woman on the other side, to get a better and closer look. Some premonition or feeling of being scrutinized caused the young woman to look up and see Marylinn across the counter studying her with an amazed and puzzled expression. Somewhat alarmed and now a little anxious, the young woman sat up straighter and looked behind her to see if she was indeed what the older waitress was looking at so closely.

“What… is it? Is something wrong?” She asked Marylinn in a leery voice.

“Oh! I’m sorry… it’s just… forgive me, but you look so very much like someone I know… I’m so sorry.” Marylinn gushed, shaking herself out of her surprise and shock a bit more, but the curiosity she just couldn’t shake.

“I do? Who?” the young lady asked warily, half turning her head and tilting it just a bit as if trying to get a grasp of what Marylinn had just said.

“Um… I mean… sorry… I’m just a little, well… shaken. You do look so much like her, almost exactly like her in fact, well, younger maybe. Forgive me for my lack of manners.” Marylinn finally smiled a little sheepishly and stepped closer and extended her hand in greeting before continuing.

“I’m Marylinn, by the way. The woman I saw when I saw you used to work with me here in the diner as a matter of fact. For years and years. I think she started waiting here when she was… well… about your age actually.”

Relaxing a little now, the young woman shook Marylinn’s hand briefly and went back to her cup of coffee to have something to do with her hands maybe. She dipped her head a bit as if to silently prod Marylinn to further expound on what she had said about looking like her coworker.

“I’m sorry, I’m not from around here, well, recently anyway. Does this woman still work here by any chance?” She asked before sipping at her coffee.

“Sadly, no.” Marylinn said quietly and hung her head briefly as the sadness crossed her face before looking back up and smiling again.

“Her name was Gwen. A lovely woman, as nice a person as you’d ever want to meet really. She worked here before I was ever hired actually. I just moved to town about ten years ago and found work here.” Marylinn told the young lady.

“You say I look like a younger version of her, is she still working here or has she perhaps retired?” she asked, cocking her head slightly to one side awaiting a response.

“No, unfortunately. She passed away not too long ago. Poor girl had cancer, and they didn’t find it soon enough. It was so sad. She had just recently gotten married to her high school sweetheart. It was like a fairy tale come true for her, being alone and single and so sad for many years. They found each other after all those years and fell in love and got married. Only for her to fall ill and die from cancer. It’s… it’s just not fair.” Marylinn expounded. “In fact, her husband… was in just earlier this evening. He often stops in for coffee or a meal.”

The young woman had he cup halfway to her lips to take another sip when she froze. Her eyes got a little larger as if a light bulb had just turned on over her head. She set the coffee cup down quickly and flipped a few pages back to the front of the binder in front of her and then looked back up at Marylinn.

“You said her name was… Gwen? As in Gwendolyn? Gwendolyn Jacobs maybe?” She asked in almost a hushed voice, her eyes big and eagerly watching Marylinn’s face.

“Y…yes… it was Gwendolyn, but she insisted on everyone calling her Gwen. And her last name was Jacobs, at least until she got married…. Why?” Marylinn asked hesitantly, her mind trying to make sense of the questions and specifics. How did this girl know Gwen’s full name?

“Oh my god…” the younger lady almost whispered, then her eyes brightened yet some more, filling with tentative excitement…almost hope.

“My mother’s… my… birth mother’s name was Gwendolyn Jacobs… I wonder if she could be the same woman?” she added somewhat reverently as if afraid to find out otherwise.

Marylinn just looked at the younger lady, now even more closely and openly studying her features intently. Imagining with her best recollection of memory a younger Gwen. She felt weak in the knees and her heart started beating faster as a cold chill ran up her spine. It wasn’t fear, really, it was more like hope and a touch of ironic sadness. Marylinn swallowed to clear her suddenly dry mouth to speak again.

Marylinn turned to Katy and asked her to grab another cup and a couple of pieces of pie, she was going to have a seat in one of the booths. She looked back at the young lady and asked her what kind of pie she liked, and not to worry, it was on the house. Then she came around the counter and led her to an empty booth near the corner where they could be seated and have a deeper conversation. Once seated in the booth across the table from one another, the young lady introduced herself formally.

“My name is Anabell Wendy Larson.” She said, this time extending her own hand to shake Marylinn’s briefly. Or it would have been briefly except that Marylinn held on to her hand as if reaching out to someone she truly loved and admired and missed so very dearly.

For some reason the younger woman wasn’t put off in the least by this lingering touch, in fact it seemed to fill her with a sense of hope. She could see the light and hope in the older woman’s eyes as well as what she was feeling in herself.

“As I was saying, my birth mother’s name was Gwendolyn Jacobs. She gave me up for adoption right after giving birth to me 24 years ago. According to what records I’ve been able to uncover after finding out that I was adopted when I turned 18, I was born at the hospital here in town. My mom and dad, my adoptive parents, lived in Illinois, near Chicago actually. I grew up there. They told me after my sixteenth birthday that I was adopted as an infant because they couldn’t have children but so desperately wanted them all the same. My mom’ sister… my adoptive mom’s sister was a nurse at the hospital here and knew of the young woman who was putting her newborn child up for adoption because she couldn’t take care of it… of me.” Wendy spoke as if reciting from a history book, but with a touch of hopeful emotion.

“Gwen had told me about her having to give up her baby girl when she was very young. It nearly killed her to do so, you must understand that. She didn’t throw you away, she wanted only the best chances for you. I don’t think she ever quite got over it, giving up her baby.” Marylinn professed with shining eyes and a sad smile.

“What was she like?” Wendy asked softly, a lump growing in her own throat.

At that moment, Katy stopped at their booth and set two pieces of lemon meringue pie before them and topped up both Wendy’s coffee cup and the one she brought for Marylinn. Sensing that this was a private moment, she smiled and told them to give a shout if they needed anything else, then returned to tending to the other customers. Marylinn smiled at Katy, then back to Wendy with a softer if sadder smile as well.

“Honey, I could spend days telling you about Gwen, but it wouldn’t be enough to give you the whole picture of who and what she was like. I can tell you this though, she was beautiful inside and out. All you have to do is look in a mirror and you can see what she looked like. My god, it’s uncanny how much you look like her. I don’t mean to keep harping on it or scare you, but It’s just amazing. You could be her twin, I’m not exaggerating.” Marylinn said with a touch of awe still in her voice.

“It’s all I can do not to just wrap you up in my arms and hug you tight. I miss her… so very much…” Marylinn’s eyes suddenly got huge with wonder and a bit of surprise. She just thought of how someone else might be so profoundly shaken and surprised by how Wendy looked, let alone who she was.

“Oh My God… I know someone else… who could tell you even more about Gwen… your mom.” Marylinn whispered in astonishment and awe, covering her mouth with one hand and looking into Wendy’s eyes to judge her temperament perhaps.

“Oh? According to the records I was able to find, Gwendolyn Jacobs didn’t have any living relatives, her mom passed away almost twenty years ago. Oh wait, you said she had been married recently.”

“Yes, her husband, her high school sweetheart, her best friend from childhood, they were very close before he left for the Army after high school. Wendell Anders.” Marylinn told her.

Marylinn went on to tell Wendy what Gwen had told her about meeting Wendell in middle school so long ago. He was new to the school having just transferred in after his father was posted to the base. His father, being in the army and being posted all over the world meant that Wendell had moved around a lot prior to moving to town. He had an older brother and sister who were already in college when he started school here.

On his first day of school, he stopped two bullies from picking on Gwen and Gwen confessed to Marylinn that she thought she fell in love with him that very day. She had been a bit of a loner up to that point, having a single mother who could barely make ends meet and keep them both sheltered and fed, Gwen always felt like an outsider. Wendell treated her with respect and kindness and was the best friend she ever had. His family welcomed her and her mother almost as family really. It was this reason she never told Wendell that she thought she loved him, other than as a friend. She was so afraid to lose his friendship.

Apparently as puberty caused her to blossom in high school and other kids took notice of her, especially boys, she let it go to her head. Having never been popular before, she was easily swayed and flattered by boys with less than good intentions. Most girls were still catty towards her and gave her the cold shoulder when not just being polite. Something happened in their senior year, and they grew distant. It may have been partly why Wendell went off to the Army, or it may have been because his father was a soldier, and he felt he needed to follow in his footsteps. Marylinn didn’t know enough about any of that to say one way or another, but they did grow apart and they lost touch with each other.

“If you really want to know more about your… about Gwen… you should meet and talk with her husband, Wendell.” Marylinn concluded, almost holding her breath.

While she thought it would be helpful for the girl, Wendy, Marylinn was concerned that Wendell might be in for a very serious shock, just as she had been upon seeing Wendy for the first time. Wendy asked where she might find Wendell and when it would be best. Marylinn pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts to find Wendell’s name. She pulled a pen from her apron and flipped over the back of an order pad and wrote the address on it. Pulling it off she folded it carefully and handed it to Wendy… holding her hand with both hands as she passed the address to her.

“I know he usually takes Saturdays and Sundays off now that he works as a civilian contractor, and today is Friday so you would likely catch him at home tomorrow or Sunday.” Marylinn spoke softly, still thinking of how Wendell would react to meeting Wendy.

Wendy looked pensive for a moment, Marylinn could almost see the gears turning in the young woman’s mind as fleeting emotions and thoughts reflected on her facial features and eyes. On the one hand, meeting her birth mother’s husband could prove awkward and even painful for him, she thought. On the other hand, he could prove to be a fount of information that she so desperately wanted to learn about her biological mother. All that she knew of her, and it wasn’t much, was garnered from cold lifeless text from public records and what little she could get from the adoption agency. Her own parents, she still thought of them as such, the only mother and father she had ever known and who raised her from an infant, knew nothing more than those records.

Wendy had even reached out to her aunt, her adoptive mother’s sister, but she had been a traveling nurse at the time, and she had moved on to another hospital shortly after Wendy had been adopted. There were no other records forthcoming from the hospital as the adoption was handled through the agency. Knowing that this might be her best and last chance of learning more about the woman that gave birth to her, she decided that she did indeed want to meet this husband, Wendell Anders. But would he see her?

“Do you think he would talk to me?” Wendy asked Marylinn, her eyes big and almost pleading with hope.

“Honestly… I can’t say. But he’s a good man and chances are that once he got over the shock of seeing a ghost, he might be more than willing to tell you about the love of his life.” Marylinn said, once more grasping Wendy’s hand as if to offer reassurance.

Wendy looked down at her hand being held by Marylinn and noticed the time on her watch. As much as she wanted to learn more, as much as she could, about her mother, she realized that it was getting late, and it might be inappropriate to bother the man this late. She already had a room at the Holiday Inn, so she might as well wait one more night. It would also give her a little time to prepare herself mentally and emotionally. She told Marylinn that she would wait till tomorrow afternoon, but wondered if she should try to call Mr. Anders before dropping in on him.

Marylinn smiled, if a little worriedly, and told her that perhaps it might be best to just show up unannounced. Talking about his late wife would be good for him, but having to think about it might give him time to talk himself out of it for fear of emotional pain that it would probably bring. No, a surprise might be better, that way he wouldn’t focus on his loss but rather the pleasant memories that it would bring up.

Wendy thought this idea might be better and agreed to wait and just show up tomorrow afternoon unannounced. She thanked Marylinn for her help and for talking with her. She was reaching for her wallet in her purse to pay for her coffee and pie before leaving but Marylinn waved her off saying it was on her… and wished her good luck. What Wendy didn’t see or know was that Marylinn said a silent prayer for both Wendy and Wendell, hoping and wishing for the best.

***

The sunlight came through the half-closed curtains on the bedroom window in beams that cut through the early morning darkness of the room. Wendell could see little dust motes floating in the air as they crossed through those sun beams. As he had every morning since Gwen had passed, he lay in bed, contemplating his new existence… without her. God, he missed her so very much. His chest heaved and he involuntarily gasped a short breath before swallowing the lump in his throat. He remembered that final day just like it was yesterday.

The end was near, Gwen knew it and so did Wendell. He had not left her bedside for two days. She was so weak and could barely keep her eyes open because the pain medication kept her nearly sedated more than just deadening the pain. Every time she opened her eyes though, he was there, holding her hand or stroking her face gently with his fingers. Reassuring her that he was still with her. She smiled each time and knew that he loved her as much as she loved him. She knew this was going to be hard for him.

“Wen….” She had spoken his name so softly that he had almost missed it. But Wendell was suddenly alert and leaned in closer to her to make it easier for her to be heard.

“You must promise me…. Please, my love… that you… that you will go on… after I’m gone…” Gwen struggled to speak, as much from the lump in her throat as the weakness from the cancer and the effects of the medication.

“Babe. I don’t know if I can. I don’t want to find anyone else.” Wendell began to protest.

Gwen patted his hand with her pale weak hand and tried to smile.

“I know you love me… But you will be all alone and should be loved by… someone… If it happens, I will be… happy for you. So…” she gasped, struggling to go on. She had to make him understand.

“So, if you meet someone… don’t… don’t close yourself… off. You have too much love in you… not to… not to give to someone…” Gwen said with trembling lips and a tear broke free from her shining eyes and ran slowly down her cheek.

Wendell’s own eyes were leaking tears too, he couldn’t speak because his throat was so tight, so he merely nodded and squeezed her hand a little more tightly. Gwen closed her eyes again and rested a little longer before continuing.

“And… If someday… my daughter ever comes looking for me… You know to give her my… my diary… Promise me that… please my love…” Gwen spoke so softly this time that it was even less than a whisper, more like a thought.

Again, Wendell nodded and squeezed her hand, his own lips now trembling as he just knew in his hear that these were Gwen’s last words… or so he thought.

“I… Love you… I always have… and… I always will…” With those words leaving her lips, so too, did the light in her eyes.

Wendell saw the light go out of her eyes and saw that her mouth was slightly open, and she was no longer breathing. With his free hand he gently ran his fingers across her cheek and then closed her eyes with the tips of his fingers. Gasping and holding in the sobs that wracked his very soul, Wendell leaned in and kissed those lips for the last time. “And I will always love you.” He whispered.

As Wendell lay in bed that morning watching the dust motes dance in the sunbeam, there were no tears, but his heart still ached. Even though he had promised Gwen that he would go on, he had not made any efforts to do so. He had buried himself and his heart into his work, more to keep himself busy and have less time to remember or think about his life as it was now. He realized that this was Saturday and other than maybe puttering around in his home office doing some paperwork, there wasn’t much work to occupy his mind today. With a groan he threw back the covers and sat up on the edge of the bed. Maybe some yard work or something, anything to keep busy.

Wendell went through his morning routine on autopilot. Shaving, showering, fixing a meager breakfast of toast and coffee. This morning, he sat in the kitchen going over some specs on his current project at the base. He had to re-read it several times as his mind tended to wander at times. It was late in the morning now, almost noon actually. I sighed as he looked down at his notes and realized that he was not getting anywhere with them, so he closed the folder. He was just standing to take his cold coffee to the sink to dump it out when the doorbell rang.

Wendy stood nervously on the porch at the front door of the home with the address that Marylinn had written down for her at the diner the night before. She had spent most of the night before sleepless and anxious about today, tossing and turning and imagining how the meeting might go today. She realized that her impatience led her to being here earlier than suggested as well. She only hoped she was not too early.

Wendell set his cup in the sink and made his way through the house to the front door. He knew it must be a stranger at his door as anyone who knew him, friends or family, knew he mainly used the back door from the deck to the kitchen. Almost no one ever came to his front door. He glanced at the pictures lining the wall in the hallway leading to the front door, family photos, snapshots and of course Many of his beloved Gwen, in happier times. Out of curiosity, Wendell peeked out the window beside the door to get a glimpse of who might be at his door. The girl or young woman had her back turned to him at the moment, as if contemplating leaving. Odd, she looked vaguely familiar from the back he thought.

Wendy heard the chain on the door being drawn and the doorknob turn as it was opened from within the house. She turned and tried to put on a pleasant, if hopeful, smile to greet her mother’s husband.

Wendell slid back the chain and unhooked it from the door before turning the nob to open it. As he drew the door inwards and the sunlight from outside flooded the doorway through the glass storm door, he blinked and squinted his eyes a little to be able to see. Backlit as she was by the sunlight, the young woman was still a vague but familiar silhouette. So, he pushed open the storm door, but when he did, he froze in place, the door halfway open and his jaw hanging open. He stopped breathing.

“Hi… Hello… are you, Wendell Anders?” Wendy asked nervously smiling as she clutched the piece of paper with his address on it in one hand and her binder to her chest with her other hand.

Wendell stood there, still in shock. He wondered if he in fact were dreaming… was this a dream or a nightmare taunting him and his grieving heart. It was almost too much to take, he was overwhelmed. Standing before him, on the front porch, was his Gwen… somehow, she was younger… as if she were back in high school maybe. Those same eyes that seemed to look into his very soul, those cheek bones, those lips… that same mousy brunette hair. Even her voice was… the same… almost. It was her voice that brought him back to the moment when she spoke again.

“I’m sorry if I’ve interrupted something… I can come back at another time if you like. That is… if I even have the right address. You are Wendell Anders… aren’t you?” Wendy asked, feeling a bit more uncertain seeing the man’s reaction upon seeing her.

It dawned on her that his reaction was very similar to Marylinn’s reaction to seeing her last night at the diner. Could there be that much of a resemblance between herself and her birth mother she wondered.

“Hello? Are you okay?” She asked when the man simply stood there and stared at her in disbelief.

“For…. Forgive me… You… you just look so much like… I’m sorry… Wha… what was your name again?” Wendell stammered, very apparently shaken.

“I didn’t actually give you my name yet, it’s Wendy. Anabell Wendy Larson. I am in town trying to find my mother. My birth mother. I found out last night however, that she has passed away already. But I was also told that you were her husband. If… if you are Wendell Anders that is…” Wendy explained in a tight but steady voice, trying very hard not to rush the words out of her mouth from her nerves that were jangling.

Wendell still stared at Wendy, his mouth agape, his brows knitted. His surprise, his shock, was evident, but what Wendy could not see was how fast his heart was beating. There was a very good possibility that he might suffer a heart attack at any moment.

“Y… Yes… I am… I’m Wendell Anders. And yes, I was married to Gwendolyn Jacobs. Oh god! You… you look just like…” Wendell faded away again his head beginning to shake ever so slightly as if to tell himself no, this can’t be real. It’s an illusion.

“I’m sorry for showing up unannounced and bothering you like this… but do you… do you think you could answer some questions for me… about Gwendolyn Jacobs?” Wendy asked haltingly, wondering if anything she was saying was actually being understood.

The last mention of Gwen’s name, her maiden name, made something click inside of Wendell. Some small part of his brain fired off a message to the rest of his mind, a heart string was struck, and a little bell began to ring somewhere in the distance. The promise… he had made a promise to his dear Gwen. Now was the time to keep that promise. But this was all so… so surreal. He was still gawking, he shook his head violently to clear his thoughts and then smiled a little sheepishly, stepping aside to invite this young woman into his house.

“Please… come in, come in. Would you… would you like some coffee? Or Tea?” Wendell asked as he led Wendy down the hallway and into the kitchen.

As they traversed that passageway, Wendy had to pause a step or two here and there as she looked at the photos framed on the walls. Now it was her turn to be stunned and shocked. She saw picture after picture of herself in unfamiliar settings and with people she didn’t know. She realized, of course, that this must have been her birth mother, Gwendolyn Jacobs. She shook her head in near disbelief, the resemblance was more than uncanny, it was haunting. She now understood the reactions she’d received from both Marylinn at the diner and now Mr. Anders.

Coming back to herself she noticed that Mr. Anders had stopped as she studied the pictures. He was still studying her as well. Lost in amazement and disbelief. She understood that now, and it dawned on her that her birth mother had only passed not too long ago, so Mr. Anders was still very much a grieving widower. Her showing up like this was indeed a very big shock for him.

“She was the most beautiful woman I ever met.” Wendell commented softly as he watched Wendy look back at several of the framed photos.

“She looks so… happy.” Wendy offered in a reverent voice.

“If you want, you can bring a few of those pictures with you… to the kitchen.” Wendell suggested.

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to… no, no I will just let them remain where they are. Thank you though.” Wendy gushed sheepishly clutching her binder to her chest as if to use it as an anchor. She felt as if her mind was drifting. She was on a mission and needed to see it through. She had waited over half her life to find answers.

Wendell made a mental note to fetch a photo album from the study after they had settled in with some coffee. Leading Miss Larson into the kitchen and pulled out a chair for her at the table before putting the kettle on to heat some water.

“Coffee? Tea? I have iced tea or soft drinks in the fridge if you like.” Wendell offered.

“Just coffee would be fine, but don’t go to any trouble on my account.”

“No trouble. I have some coffee in the machine, it’s probably still okay, it wasn’t brewed too long ago. I slept late this morning. Wendell offered with a sad smile.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. Thank you.” Wendy reassured him.

Wendell grabbed two clean cups from the cupboard and brought them and the carafe from the machine to the table. He poured her cup and then his own and took a seat across the table from her. Once seated and looking directly at her again, he was once more thunderstruck by her resemblance to Gwen. He was staring but he was not entirely aware of that. It took Wendy clearing her throat to once more bring him back to the present and awareness.

“I’m sorry. It’s just uncanny… the resemblance… Now… you said you had questions. Ask away. And I’ll try not to stare.” Wendell told her as he picked up his cup with a slight tremor in his hands and took a tentative sip of his coffee.

Wendy smiled partly with amusement and partly with some embarrassment. Before yesterday she had never encountered anyone looking at her like Marylinn and now Mr. Anders had. It was both flattering and a little disconcerting at the same time. She busied herself by opening her binder to the very first page. She read off the cold information that was provided by the adoption agency in the form letter she had received from them upon her request as a legal adult. It detailed the birth date of the child, her, and the mother’s name. There was no name for the father other than “unknown”. That was her first question.

“The records that were found indicated that the father… my father… was unknown. Was that an omission or perhaps a mistake?” Wendy asked tentatively, not knowing if Mr. Anders would know that information.

“Honestly. I wasn’t present at the time. I wasn’t even aware that your mother was pregnant with you. She did tell me about it years later however. She didn’t know the father, or at least who the father might have been. You see, she was… well… to be blunt, she was raped. She was unconscious and didn’t even know it was happening, let alone who might have done it with any certainty. I’m sorry, that must be hard to hear and process for you.” Wendell said softly, watching Wendy’s eyes to see if she was indeed hurt by this news.

“Um… yeah… I didn’t know that part…” Wendy spoke, drifting into silence as the thought settled in to her mind for the first time. She would have to process this information later though, she had a mission to complete first.

“Well, that shines a whole new light on the subject then, doesn’t it? I guess I’m a bastard child after all. I wonder if that was the reason or one of the reasons, she gave me away…” Wendy voiced quietly, her eyes riveted to the first page of her binder, her index finger slowly tracing under the name of her birth mother printed in black and white on the page.

“That I can tell you, unequivocally, was not the case. I know for a fact that she would have given anything to keep you and raise you herself… it was just not possible. And… she would rather give you up if it meant that you had a shot at a better life than she could have provided for you.” Wendell said firmly, not exactly angrily, but in no uncertain terms he defended his late wife and her decision so long ago.

“I’m sorry. I meant no disrespect… honestly. I’m just trying to understand.” Wendy said quickly, startled that she might have offended this man in some way.

“I could sit here all day and tell you how much Gwen loved you, and how much it hurt her to give you away and how she thought of you every day of her life from that point on. But you know what…” Wendell said then snapped his fingers as he remembered his promise about the diary.

“Stay right there, I’ll be right back.” He told Wendy as he stood abruptly from his seat at the table and strode out of the kitchen and down the hallway towards the master bedroom.

Wendell went directly to his bedside nightstand. Opening the drawer he reverently removed the overly thick leather-bound diary. It was, like the binder that Wendy carried, in a way that it was actually a heavy binder. Locked in its rings were over twenty years of spiral bound notebooks, loose leaf pages, and journals, all in sequential order from the oldest to the latest.

The cover of the binder had only two words in gold leaf embossed into the leather… it read “My Heart”. Wendell couldn’t help but to tear up and feel his heart squeeze tightly in his chest whenever he read those two words. They meant so very much to him. With a sigh and a resigned will to continue, Wendell closed the drawer and turned to walk back to the kitchen and the waiting Wendy.

Wendy heard his footsteps coming back down the hallway and looked up just as Mr. Anders reentered the kitchen, he was carrying a thick book in both hands clutched to his chest. At first Wendy thought he had a photo album. Wendell sat back down in his chair and with one hand moved his coffee cup well off to the side and he set the book down with such reverence and care that Wendy felt that this book must be extremely special to him.

“This is something I was made to promise, to give to Gwen’s daughter should she ever come looking for her…” Wendell said so quietly that Wendy almost thought she had imagined the words that he spoke.

“She wrote… her life… her heart and soul, every day without fail. Sometimes only a sentence or two, sometimes pages and pages. But it was her only way of letting her… letting you… know what she was thinking, how she felt, how much she loved you and wished you well. It’s her diary. She wanted you to have it if you ever reached out or came looking for her…” Wendell told her and then paused as he struggled with his own emotions for a moment.

Wendy watched as he lovingly ran his shaking fingers across the cover of the book, almost as if he were caressing a person rather than an inanimate book. He sighed deeply and swallowed before continuing.

“As I said, she made me promise to give this to you. She also told me to read it… read it all… except for the last entry. She said that one entry was for you only. If after you read it, and wished to share, then I could read it. I have read the book from cover to cover, several times… except for that last entry.” Wendell intoned reverently… his finger stopping beneath the gold leaf embossed words on the cover.

“She… didn’t know your name… but she held you in her heart, so, she put that on the cover. You were her heart.” He said and turned the book around to face Wendy before pushing it across the table to her.

Wendy closed and set aside her own binder as well as her coffee cup. She then ran the fingers of one hand over the surface of the cover of the book Mr. Anders had just presented to her. Reading the words on the cover aloud, softly.

“My Heart” she all but whispered… then brought her trembling hand to her mouth before glancing back up at him. He still had that faraway look in his eyes, but he nodded to her as if to say go ahead and open it. So, she did, and she read.

“Today was a hard one. I pulled a double shift at the diner because Suzy called in sick with the flu. Mom had to work her second job tonight as well, so we are both exhausted. Dinner was a peanut butter sandwich. Just peanut butter, we’ve been out of jelly for a couple of weeks now and rent was due last week, so we skipped grocery shopping another week. I try not to eat anything at home as much as I can. It helps that I work at the diner, at least I get to eat a little now and then. The cook has a soft spot for me since I’m pregnant and big as a house. Mom should be getting home here shortly. I’m going to heat up some water in the kettle so she can have some tea before she goes to bed. I hope you will let me sleep tonight, my little one. So active at night when I lay down, I swear, sometimes it feels like you’re dancing on my bladder. I can’t wait to see you.”

Wendy gasped, and she looked up from the yellowed page of the fist spiral notebook in the binder to see Wendell sitting there with his eyes closed and a sad smile on his face. Sensing her gaze, he opened his eyes. They were sad eyes indeed, but there was something there that she had never seen in those of another. At least not ones that were looking at her. She had a little trouble tearing her gaze away from him to look back down at the book and to read the next entry.

“I’m going to go to my study and try to do some work I need to do. You’re welcome to stay as long as you like. Make yourself at home. There are drinks and food in the fridge if you get hungry or thirsty. If you need anything, just yell. I’ll be right down the hall there on the right.” Wendell said as he stood slowly, glancing once more at the book in front of Wendy before turning and walking out of the kitchen and down the hall. Wendy watched him go, then turned back to the book. She turned the page and read the next entry.

“Mom was sick this morning, again. She is so weak and tired. I wish I could do more for her. I put in for extra hours at the diner this morning. Suzy is going to be out for a few days with the flu, so it wasn’t much of an imposition for Hank, the manager. I told him I’d take whatever hours he could give me as long as I could. I know I’ll have to slow down or even stop for a while when I get close to time to let this little one out into the world. He just gave me that sad smile that so many seem to have for me. Sometimes that hurts worse than the blank stares and dirty looks from people.”

Wendy grimaced slightly, only having an idea of the looks that people gave her birth mother, but still feeling for her all the same. She continued to read the journal, picking up the next entry which was similar to the first two she had just read. It wasn’t until several pages in that she was first struck by the angst and worry that her birth mother was going through, however.

“My heart broke this afternoon. It was slow at the diner after lunch and a young woman, and her daughter and a baby came in. They were seated in one of my booths, so I waited on them. She seemed so very tired and worn. She couldn’t have been much older than I was, but she looked ten years older and haggard. When I asked what she would like to order, she only asked for two glasses of water, one for her and one for her daughter. The poor little girl looked like she was starving but terrified of saying anything. That little face will haunt me for the rest of my life. I just knew that they were all hungry, but I guess the mom didn’t have any money to feed her children or herself. I brought her the glasses of water of course but I just couldn't shake that sadness.

I asked Hank if I could cash out my tips early, something I’ve seen some of the other waitresses do from time to time but this was the first time I had ever asked to do the same. At first, he acted a bit put off by the request, but did cash me out early. When I used my tips to buy soup and sandwiches for the young mother and her children though, Hank hand a change of heart. He surprised me even by throwing in a couple of pieces of pie on the house. The young mother cried when I told her it was all paid for. Later, I cried when Hank put my tips back in my apron pocket and told me that I should be thinking about myself too. I cried again, when I got home and thought about that young mother and how that could be me soon. I wished mom had been home, I felt so alone. Then you kicked me. I guess you were reminding me that I was not alone after all. But I cried even more. How am I going to take care of you, my child. I never want you to suffer and go hungry and be scared. What am I going to do?”

Wendy felt a tear break free and roll down her cheek as she read the entry in the diary. She brushed it away with the back of her hand before covering her mouth with that hand and continued to read. The entries, day after day, all seemed to be getting sadder and sadder as Gwen expressed her worries and concerns for her unborn child and its future. So too, her worries and concerns about her mother’s failing health. Wendy could feel the angst and fear in her mother’s words. She could also tell that Gwen seemed to be struggling with a decision that she wasn’t even aware that she would make. One that Wendy knew was made in the end… or rather… the beginning, of her own life.

“You are two days old now, my love. My baby girl, my daughter. I pray that I made the right decision. I hope that someday you will understand and forgive me for what I have done. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I was unable to write or even speak for two days. When you were born, I got to hold you and see your face for the first time. It was only for a moment, but I will cherish that moment for the rest of my life. I was able to give you one last kiss on your forehead before they took you away to your new parents. To your new and better life. They will be able to love and provide for you and you will have a happier life. I could have died right then… but I knew I had to keep going. I must take care of my own mom as long as I can. And… I need to tell you how much I love you, even though you are not with me. I hope that someday you will read this and know that what I did was out of love and not any kind of rejection. If only things were different.”

Wendy gasped and felt the tears flowing freely now. She sat back from the table, her arms limp at her sides as she tilted her head back, eyes closed and her face towards the heavens, or at least the kitchen ceiling. Her slim body shook with silent sobs as she felt her mother’s pain and anguish pour from the pages of the diary.

At the doorway from the hall to the kitchen, Wendell saw Wendy in her moment of sadness and felt it himself. Deep, deep, soul deep. He had read those same passages several times now himself. Part of him wanted to go to the young woman and comfort her, but he stopped himself from doing so. He had only met the girl this very afternoon and it just wouldn’t be right. Instead, he quietly turned and retreated once more to his office to leave her to her reading, and he to sit and mourn his own loss in private.

Wendy did eventually go back to reading the diary of this woman who had given birth to her. She didn’t seem as much of a stranger now however. Through her words and thoughts, Gwen had made a tenuous connection with Wendy. There was always an overall feeling of sadness and sorrow to the passages she read. There was not so much regret for her decision to give up her child but rather hope that she was growing up happy and loved. There was always a feeling of love and hope for her child.

Gwen’s diary documented her struggle to maintain her own sanity and will to go on day by day. She wrote about her missing her best friend Wendell quite often and wondered how he was doing and wished him happiness as well. There were darker entries about how her mom’s failing health and misfortune. How they were forced to sell their house and move into a small rental apartment. She wrote of her mother’s passing and the overwhelming sadness that it brought with it, being all alone, completely alone now. Her only reason for going on, to continue to breathe, was holding out hope that someday she would get to meet her own daughter.

Wendy had to stop at that point. The sadness was nearly overwhelming. While her eyes remained wet and hot, the tears had slowed almost to a stop. Sitting back once more, she realized that she had been reading for hours now. The shadows were growing long outside and the light from the sunshine had moved across the kitchen, no longer falling on the table where she sat reading. An urgent need to relieve her bladder caused her to stand from the table and look about for a bathroom. Moving into the hallway, passing those now haunting pictures on the wall, she found Wendell’s office. Wendell was leaning back in his chair, a framed photo held to his chest as he slept. Wendy noted his face looked very sad and wondered if that photo was of his late wife, her mother.

Her need to use the bathroom pressed her onward, down the hallway. She found the room she needed and took care of her urgent needs. When done, she washed her hands and looked at herself in the mirror. Could hers be a reflection of her mother that she was seeing? Did Wendell and even Marylinn from the diner see Gwendolyn when they looked at her? She gave herself a sad smile thinking that perhaps that was a compliment, now that she was learning more about her late mother. She wanted to know more, she wanted to know how she lived. Wendy rinsed her tear-stained face with a bit of cold water then dabbed it dry with a hand towel before exiting the bathroom.

Walking back down the hallway towards the kitchen, Wendy was met at Wendell’s office doorway. He had awakened from his mournful nap when he heard the toilet flush. Wendell smiled awkwardly at Wendy as she paused at his doorway.

“I’m sorry if I disturbed you… I… I had to use the bathroom. I hope you don’t mind.” Wendy began shyly.

“Oh, not to worry. You didn’t disturb me, and I did tell you to make yourself at home. Are you… are you doing, okay? I know that some of the passages in Gwen’s diary can be… touching.” Wendell asked.

“Yes. I’m fine. And, yes, they are… touching. I’m sorry I’ve been so wrapped up in reading that I wasn’t aware of the time. I don’t want to impose on your hospitality and time. I should be going…” Wendy apologized and began to hint at departing.

Wendell realized that she was indeed feeling awkward and felt something inside himself … “turn”? He wasn’t sure why he said what he did, but it felt right and… it was almost as if there was a voice in his ear prompting him to say it.

“Not at all. In fact, I was about to ask you if you were hungry. I hadn’t made any plans for dinner, was likely to just have a peanut butter sandwich or something, but… would you like to… I don’t know, go out for a bite to eat somewhere… perhaps the diner?” Wendell offered awkwardly, but with a kind voice.

Wendy was taken aback by the question. How could this man, so clearly moved and even shocked by her appearance, causing him to relive the pain of loss and separation of his late wife, be so kind and thoughtful. While part of her leaned towards politely declining the offer, another part, strangely, prompted her to accept.

“That… would be lovely. I wonder if Marylinn is working again today?” Wendy posed.

“I’m sure she is, she’s a fixture at the diner. She’ll probably be happy to see you again as well.” Wendell commented as they both walked back to the kitchen.

Wendy so very much wanted to read more of the diary but felt that it might be good to take a break. She did, however, take her own binder with her as she and Wendell left the house. Since Wendy had taken a cab to get to his house, the two opted to take Wendell’s jeep. The feeling of DeJa’Vu that came over Wendell as they drove to the diner was palpable.

Marylinn was indeed working this evening, like most evenings. She was happy to see Wendell, and though still struck by how much Wendy looked like Gwen, she was happy to see her again as well. She brought a fresh pot of coffee to the booth where Wendell and Wendy had taken a seat and filled their cups after saying hello. She looked between Wendell and Wendy trying to judge how he was handling the startling resemblance of the young woman to her late mother. She admitted to herself that he did still seem to be somewhat in shock by it all just as much as she was the day before.

“Hi Wen. I see this young lady found you today. I can imagine you were just as floored as I was by how much she looks like Gwen. I hope everything is alright.” She said by way of greeting, glancing at Wendy and smiling apologetically.

“Hi Marylinn. Yeah, it was quite a shock. I don’t know that I’m over it just yet, but I’m okay. What’s the special of the day?” Wendell returned, smiling somewhat sheepishly at Marylinn.

Wendy looked up and nodded indicating that she’d be interested in hearing the special too.

“Well, it’s Saturday, so the special of the day is Meatloaf with mashed potatoes, green beans, corn muffins or rolls, and peach cobbler a la mode for dessert.” She listed off the menu special, still studying both occupants of the booth.

“That sounds good to me.” Wendy spoke then glanced at Wendell to see if he agreed.

“Yeah, that’ll be fine for me too, Marylinn. Could I get a glass of Iced tea to go with… sweetened of course?” Wendell said pushing the unused menu to the side of the table.

“The same for me, please.” Wendy added with a smile.

Marylinn smiled at both and said she’d be right back with the tea and moved off to put the orders in at the kitchen window. Wendy folded her hands atop one another and sat back to study Wendell sitting across the booth from her. Wendell also folded his hands atop the table and sat back to look at Wendy for a moment of silence. He slowly shook his head in amazement and smiled in wonder. Wendy knew he was scrutinizing her for what she looked like… or perhaps who she looked like. Still though, she didn’t mind his scrutiny for some reason.

“So, how far have you gotten, reading Gwen’s… your birth mother’s diary?” Wendell asked cautiously.

“As you know, it picks up while she is still pregnant with… me… and I’ve not been born yet if that tells you anything.” Wendy said with a bit of a shrug and she averted her eyes as if somewhat embarrassed or perhaps uncomfortable, it was hard for Wendell to tell.

“It can be… hard to read… sometimes. I know.” Wendell admitted, suddenly studying his own hands before continuing. “It might take a while to read it all… go at your own pace is all I can suggest.”

“I was wondering… Could I… could I borrow it, the diary, and read it overnight at my hotel?” Wendy asked hopefully.

“Borrow it? I thought I made it clear, it’s yours. You mother… Gwen… wanted you to have it.” Wendell replied looking up at her cocking his head slightly with a puzzled expression crossing his features.

“No… I heard you. But… well… I don’t think I would want to take that away from you. I get the feeling that it’s… Oh I don’t know, like it’s part of her and she was very special to you. To lose her… again…” Wendy trailed off her explanation, unsure if she was helping or hindering the situation.

Wendell smiled, that sad, sweet smile, and blinked rapidly a couple of times before resuming studying his hands on the table… perhaps seeing something or someone other than his hands in his mind’s eye. She saw him swallow a lump in his throat and wondered if she had caused him pain and felt badly for it.

“I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” She began, but Wendell cut her off by raising his eyes to meet hers.

“No… no, it’s okay. Thank you for considering my feelings. Yes, Gwen was… special to me. And I will miss her for the rest of my life. I lost her once as a young man, then again… when she passed. But The diary was written to and for you. I was made to understand that it was yours if or whenever you came looking for her. If she were alive, she would have given it to you herself. She didn’t ask me to give it to you, she made me promise to do that. So… it is yours.” Wendell confessed with all seriousness, even with his eyes looking so sad.

“Still though… I would like you to keep it. I’m still not settled anywhere and I wouldn’t want to lose it. It’s too important to me… and I think, you… to risk it getting lost along the way. I do want to finish reading it though.” Wendy said earnestly, one hand reaching across the table to lay softly atop of Wendell’s two hands. A look of sincerity in her eyes and a timid smile on her lips.

Wendell returned the smile and nodded his head, suddenly unable to speak for the lump in his throat. This was so much like what Gwen would have said or done that it actually made his heart hurt in his chest. Further discussion was interrupted when Marylinn arrived at their table with their dinner orders. Setting plates in front of Wendy and Wendell before asking if there was anything else they needed before moving on to another customer.

Wendy unfolded her napkin and set it in her lap before picking up her utensils and looking over at Wendell who was doing the same. They shared a bashful grin before they both dug into their meatloaf. After a few bites and appreciative sounds from each of them, Wendell picked up their previous conversation.

“I will be happy to keep it… for you. But it is yours. You said you were staying at a hotel. Would I be too forward to offer you to stay at my house? Free of course, no charge. That way you wouldn’t have to worry about traveling.” Wendell offered.

“You… you would have me stay at your house? You don’t even know me.” Wendy said with a shocked expression, her fork halfway to her mouth with a bite of meatloaf.

Wendell shrugged then cleared his throat with a drink of his iced tea before continuing.

“We’ve only just met, and I would think that it would be you who would have trust issues with me, not the other way around. I’ve been around this world a few times and I think I’m a pretty good judge of character. I get the feeling that I could trust you, even though we’ve just met. Besides… I know in my hear that it is what Gw… your mother would have wanted. I promise to behave and leave you alone to read. I can occupy myself with my work… and it’s a big house for just me.” Wendell explained but began to ramble as he went on, seeing the look on Wendy’s face caused him to stop. Then ask…

“What? Did I say something wrong or…”

“No. It’s just that… aside from my parents. Pardon me, my adoptive parents, I’ve never met anyone so generous and… nice.” Wendy confessed, her soft smile shown even in her eyes as she nodded and resumed eating. “Thank you. I will have to go by the hotel and pick up my belongings and check out… if you don’t mind.”

“Not a problem. We can do that.” Wendell responded with a kind smile.

They both finished their dinners and were enjoying a cup of coffee over a piece of pie when Marylinn slid into the boot next to Wendell, forcibly scooting him over with a nudge from her hip. Wendy smiled with amusement at the look on Wendell’s face as she held her coffee cup in both hands in front of her face.

“Hello again.” Marylinn said and smiled at Wendy.

“Hi.” Wendy said in return.

“Wendell… I have a question for you.” Marylinn said, planting her left elbow on the table top and resting her chin in her open palm as she half turned to look at Wendell sitting next to her.

“Okay…” Wendell said hesitantly.

“This young lady is… traveling… as I understand it, staying at the Red Roof down the street. Now it’s nice as hotels/motels go, but it’s still… not ideal for a young woman to be staying by herself. I was wondering… You have that big old house and only yourself there. I was wondering if you would mind letting her stay with you for a day or so… till she knows what or where she’s going to go or do next…” Marylinn paused, a questioning look spreading on her face as she watched Wendell begin to grin and chuckle quietly sitting next to her. “What?”

Wendell looked down a little sheepishly and nodded to Wendy across the table. Wendy smiled and looked at Marylinn who was looking at her in askance now.

“Mr. Anders just asked me if I would like to stay with him at his home while I read the diary my mom left for me… just a little while ago actually.” Wendy said smiling shyly and looking across the table at Wendell.

Marylinn blushed then smiled both at Wendy and then turning to Wendell and shaking her head in amusement. “You will never change… still just as sweet and kind…” She then leaned close to him and kissed his cheek. This caused Wendell to blush bright red and Marylinn giggled and scooted back out of the booth to stand beside the table.

“Can I expect to see you… both of you… in here again then? Soon?” She asked as she held her order pad and pen as if she were going to take another order.

Wendy shrugged and smiled, Wendell just shook his head slowly in amusement and gave Marylinn a sidelong glance before shrugging. Marylinn smiled and sidled off to tend to another customer. With an unspoken agreement, Wendy and Wendell began to slide out of the booth. Wendy was reaching into her purse when Wendell shook his head and said “My treat. Save your money” and pulled out his wallet and went to the counter to pay his ticket. What he didn’t see was Wendy slipping a few bills under the edge of her plate and a written not saying “Thank you”.

As Wendell was starting his jeep, he saw that he was getting low on gas and commented that he needed to sop and get some. Since there was a Speedy mart just down the street from the hotel, it was on the way and not an inconvenience. Wendell pulled in at the pumps and got out to pump the gas. Wendy got out as well and said that she needed to find the restroom but would be back in a few minutes.

Wendy went in and was given the key to the women’s room that was outside and to the side of the store. She went to the door and let herself in and locked it behind her, then took care of business. As she was coming back out after washing her hands, she nearly collided with a man coming out of the men’s room right next door. He reeked of cigarette smoke and alcohol. Wendy excused herself and backed away from him bumping into the door to the women’s room behind her.

The man, grumbled an explicative that she didn’t quite catch then eyed her up and down. He shook his head and then stood up a little straighter and took a long closer look at her. He began grinning and shaking his head. One hand coming to his chin to hold it in between his thumb and forefinger and the other hand reaching down to adjust his crotch. One eyebrow climbed high on his forehead beneath his dirty ball cap, and he let out a long slow whistle.

“Damn me to hell and back! I thought I’d never see the day that I laid eyes on you again. Fuck! You look as good today as you did the night of our Prom…” The smelly pot-bellied man declared.

Wendy felt repulsed by his leering glare and dirty grin. She stayed plastered back against the door of the women’s room and darted her eyes around for an escape route. The man, however, edged closer to her still leering and looking her up and down. A bulge growing in the front of his worn dirty jeans.

“My, my, my… you don’t look like you’ve aged a day, girl. I’ll bet that twat of yours is still tight and juicy too, isn’t it?” He said in a gravelly voice even as he staggered a bit as he edged closer to Wendy.

Wendell had finished putting gas in the jeep and hung the hose and nozzle back up. He wiped his hands off on a paper towel used for the windshield washing station and glanced around looking for Wendy. He felt the need to empty his own bladder and headed to the side of the building. He already knew where the restrooms were as he had stopped at this speedy serve many times, and knew too that the men’s room door lock was busted and so didn’t require a key.

As he rounded the corner, Wendell saw Wendy backed against the women’s room door and a disheveled man leaning close to her, his left hand placed against the door near Wendy’s head, his right hand appeared to be about to reach out and grope her. Not knowing what had ensued up to this point but clearly seeing that she was distressed and scared, Wendell locked his right hand in a death grip around the man’s right wrist and spun him around away from Wendy.

“What the hell….” The man managed to sputter as his head spun at the sudden relocation of his body and attention.

“I think you need to leave the young lady alone, friend.” Wendell spoke sternly but clearly sending the message that this was not a request.

“I think you need to mind your own business… fuck face!” the man spat, looking Wendell up and down as if to size him up as a threat.

“I’ll ask you one last time to move along.” Wendell said with a menacing tone, already understanding that this man was going to be trouble no matter what was said.

Then it dawned on him, he knew this man. Sure, he’d changed over the years, and time had not been kind to him in the process. Wendell was looking at none other than Randal Wilson. At that same moment, something clicked behind the eyes of the drunken man, he nearly staggered backwards as the realization took hold in his addled mind.

“Well fuck me! Not only do I bump into my dear sweet Prom date Gwen… I run into her fucking savior and all-around goody two shoes pal… Wendy Anders!” The man barked with a sick sounding guffaw.

“Why don’t you just piss off like you did back in high school and me and Gwenny here can go into the restroom and have a little fun… like we did on prom night…” he sneered with an ugly grin and chuckled to himself over his wit.

Wendell’s eyes flared at the mention of the prom and what he suspected Randal, at least, of having done to his Gwen so long ago. Fire filled his gut and he could feel his hands clenching as the rage grew and grew in those few moments. Wendy, having heard the man as well, frowned and flashed back to what Marylinn had told her the day before and what she had read or had been alluded to in the diary she’d been reading this very day. Something hot and angry grew in her heart and for reasons she would have to try to understand at another time, she lashed out.

“YOU? You were the boy who took my mother to her prom? YOU were the one or ONE of the boys who drugged her and raped her and left her? You called that… fun?” She nearly shouted with a disgusted rage filled venomous tone in her voice.

Randal turned his attention back to Wendy, that lewd sneering grin of his and a wink at her was the last straw, for her. In a blink of an eye, she hauled off and kicked him with a powerhouse kick to the groin that smashed his balls nearly into paste. A kick that would have made any NFL football kicker jealous if not merely impressed. Impressed was not the word that Randal would have used though.

Words could not be found in his vocabulary let alone his conscious mind as it swirled in the pain laden vortex that his mind became as his nervous system registered the impact of Wendy’s ankle bones to his bloated and swollen testicles. Randal’s eyes bulged out, his wind was knocked from his chest and both hands grasped at his damaged male attributes as he doubled over in agony.

Wendy backed up a couple of steps and looked like she was about to spit on him as he staggered a step or so trying desperately to keep his balance but it seemed to be a losing struggle. Even though his lungs seemed to lack any oxygen at all, he vented off a string of curse words that would make any sailor blush and church going folk to hastily cover the ears of those too young to understand. His face was red as blood and his dirty teeth gritted between his lips as he gasped and tried not to throw up.

For a moment he was stilled in his hobbling, steadied by a helping hand. Had he known who’s hand it was, he would have realized that it was not for his benefit however. Wendell, still boiling with rage, caught Randal’s shoulder with his left hand, stilling his staggering gait and causing the man to look up somewhat into his face. The last thing Randal saw however was the meaty and very angry fist of the punch that Wendell landed across his cheekbone and jaw. The haymaker that came out of nowhere spun Randal around like a top and he went crashing to the ground. Crumpled to his knees and then coming to rest face first and pressed against the men’s restroom door, that pushed open just enough for Randal’s face to slide to the cement floor.

Wendell wasn’t sure how long he stood there looking down on Randal’s still form. He wasn’t dead but he was out cold, the slow rise and fall of his torso showed that he was still breathing. It was Wendy wrapping her hands around Wendell’s right arm and pulling him gently away from the restroom doors that brought him back to the present.

“We should go.” Wendy said hesitantly, as she looked back at the crumpled form of one disgusting excuse for a human being.

“Yeah… I’m sorry… I don’t know what came over me… it’s just…” Wendell stammered but was cut off by Wendy.

“You don’t have to explain. I think I know what it was. But this is not the time or place to talk about it. Come on. Let me go return this key and then we can go to the hotel and get my stuff.” Wendy said still pulling gently and steering Wendell around the corner of the Speedy Mart away from the restrooms.

Wendy left Wendell at the entrance and hurried in to return the restroom key before rejoining him to walk to the jeep. They both got in and drove away, down the street to the Red Roof Inn. Wendy said she’d only be a minute as she dashed in to her room and gathered her few things in a suitcase and then stopped at the jeep to set it down and continue to the office to settle her bill and check out. Wendell put the suitcase in the back seat and when Wendy got back in, they drove home to his house.

“Wendy… I must apologize…” Wendell began as they came to a stop in his driveway at the back of the house.

“For what?” Wendy asked, turning in her seat to look at the pensive man with his hands gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were turning white.

“For… for losing my cool. I’m not sure what came over me back there. It’s like a ball of fire exploded behind my eyes and I just… blew up.” Wendell tried to describe what he felt at that moment before he had swung his fist at Randal, the disgusting excuse for a human being.

Wendy reached over with one hand and rested it lightly on Wendell’s right shoulder. No words were spoken, but then, none were needed. The look in her eyes told Wendell she understood and did not hold him to blame for his reaction. If anything, she admired his restraint from going much further. Most anyone would have done what he did and more. The sad smile told Wendell that she felt a similar sadness for the reason behind the anger.

After a few more moments of silence, Wendell opened his door and got out saying he would grab Wendy’s bag and take it inside. They both climbed the steps to the first level of the back deck, pausing near the now long unused hot tub before continuing up to the second level and to the back door at the kitchen. It was a warm evening and the deck looked so peaceful and inviting it prompted Wendy to ask.

“Would it be okay if I sat out here and read more… of her diary?”

Wendell paused with the door into the kitchen open and looked around the deck… perhaps not seeing it as it was at that moment, but as it was not too long ago when Gwen would enjoy sitting out here in the evening as well. He smiled sadly and nodded.

“Of course. You are welcome. I meant it when I said you could make yourself at home. I’ll just set this in the guest room. Then I’ll make another pot of coffee. I have a little work to do, so if you need anything I’ll be in my office.” Wendell said before turning to go inside.

Wendy followed him into the kitchen and collected the heavy binder that held her late mother’s diary. Touching the cover tenderly with the fingers of her right hand, she realized that the volume contained much more than a mere diary… much, much more. This tome held her very heart and her life in the words she wrote. It was almost a living thing. She took a deep breath and picked it up gently to hold tightly to her breast as if hugging her mother through the time and distance. Wendy turned and walked out of the kitchen through the back door and found a comfortable chaise near the back rail of the deck and had a seat. She looked at the heavy binder in her lap, once more stroking the cover gently with one hand before opening it once more and finding the last entry she had read… and began again.

“You are five years old today. I hope you have the happiest birthday ever my darling. I wish so badly that I could hold you in my arms and kiss you and wish you a happy birthday in person. I remember my fifth birthday when I was just a little girl too. That was before my father went away. I had a party but nobody came. Mom baked me a birthday cake and we had ice cream, and she even had a couple of presents for me. I asked her why no one I invited had come to the party but she only smiled and said that I shouldn’t worry about it. I found out years later that my father had thrown a fit about my mom spending money on the party and they had a huge fight. He stormed out and we didn’t see him for a couple of days after that. I was too young to understand, of course, but there were other problems too. I felt so alone that year. I learned to get used to it. I hope, dearly, that you never have to experience that. Anyway. I love you, my darling. Happy birthday.”

Wendy covered her mouth with one hand and blinked a few tears away. She then turned the page and went on reading. Most entries were just day to day commentary, but they always ended with a wish of hope and love towards her, Gwen’s daughter. Some entries were short anecdotes or stories from her own childhood. She told of her mother and father splitting up… well… of her father just leaving one day and never coming back anyway. Then it was just her and her mother. How she always felt so alone and outside of everything and everyone, especially at school. She kept to herself and read everything she could get her hands on. It seems that the love of reading was something both her mother and Wendy shared.

One entry, leapt from the pages as she read it. Wendy lived and saw through her mother’s eyes the day she met Wendell in middle school. Gwen told of how terrified she was when the bullies Steve and Randal picked her that day to vent their anger and frustrations on. At lunch that day, sitting by herself as always, they took her food, called her names and Steve even tried to get his hand down her pants. No one in the lunch room did anything or said anything about it… that is… until Wendell, the new boy in school had stood up for her and stopped them. He STOPPED THEM! BOTH! Gwen admitted in her writing that she believed that was the day she fell in love with him. Only she didn’t know it was love at that time.

The pages that followed that entry talked of the budding friendship and how not only Wendell but his family pretty much adopted her and welcomed her into their home and family. The long summer days they had spent together growing up, movies, meals, comic books, shared. How many afternoons or evenings they had spent laying on the grass in this very backyard gazing up at the clouds or the stars and sharing their hopes and dreams. She wrote that Wendell was the best and truest friend anyone could ever have had… but then she had blown it all.

In their senior year of high school, Gwen had blossomed. Her body developed, and her self-esteem was soaring as all the boys and many of the girls who had never noticed her before or ignored her, seemed to see her for the first time. Part of it was her self-confidence… all thanks to Wendell and his family. It was new, it was exciting, she wanted more of it. All the attention that other boys were now giving her went to her head. She didn’t realize it at the time but she had drifted away from Wendell. She was flattered and easily fooled.

When the former bully from their childhood showered her with attention and praise, she thought he had changed… and she ate it up. Even going so far as to accept his invitation to attend their senior prom with him. She was so very excited. It was all just so wonderful. Until it wasn’t. How could she have been so naïve? She didn’t see the wolf in sheep’s clothing. The lying bastard that he still was. Gwen went on to relive what she could remember of the night of her prom. The dinner date, the drinking, the dance and more drinking. Then later, waking up in that cold locker room. Raped and left as trash. Stumbling home that night through the rain and storm to collapse on her mother’s door.

Wendy had to close the book. She shook as she wept openly for her late mother. How could people be so very cruel she wondered. She tilted her head back and looked to the heavens, the stars were twinkling. With a sad heart she wished her mother peace. Then closed her eyes and wept some more. This time for herself. She had known for years that her birth mother had given her up for adoption. She had come to terms with that. But now, now she knew more about the situation and she knew that she herself had been a bastard child conceived by rape.

A soft clearing of a voice in the shadows behind her caused her to open her eyes and turn her head. Hidden from the porch light over the door into the kitchen, Wendell stood inside the screen door in the darkened kitchen politely observing Wendy’s moment. He didn’t want to intrude but he thought it was getting late and was going to let her know that he was going to go to bed. But first, he wanted to make sure she was okay and that she knew where she could sleep when she wanted to.

“Sorry to interrupt… I just thought I would let you know where you could lay down and sleep when you were ready. I’m going to go to bed myself in a few minutes. You’re welcome to stay up as long as you want though.” Wendell spoke softly.

“Thank you. You’re not intruding. This is your home, remember?” Wendy said with a bit of a laugh to cover her own emotional state.

“I think I’ll at least go in and get ready for bed and lay down as well. I can read in bed I suppose.” Wendy added, closing the book and standing.

Wendell opened the door for her then closed and locked it and turned the deck lights off before showing Wendy to the guest room. He mentioned that she already knew where the bathroom was, and once more told her to make herself at home. Then, after wishing her goodnight, he went down the hall to the master bedroom and closed his door. Wendy watched him go and felt a growing sadness for this kind man.

Wendy opened her suitcase and then changed from her clothes into a pair of sweat pants and a tee shirt. She gathered her hair back into a ponytail and then secured it with an elastic scrunchy before grabbing her toothbrush and toothpaste and going to the bathroom down the hall. She relieved herself then washed her face and brushed her teeth. Once back in the guest room, she settled down into the bed, propping herself up with pillows behind her back and by the light of the bedside table she reopened her mother’s diary and began reading again.

For page after page after page the entries seemed to get sadder and sadder. Her mother’s loneliness and sadness were palpable, but throughout it all she expressed her hopes and dreams for her daughter, Wendy. And then there was a change. It’s like the spring sun came out after a long cold cloudy winter. Even Wendy could feel the in-credulousness and excitement in her mother’s words.

“You will not believe who I saw today! I’m still pinching myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. It was another normal day at the diner today, the regulars coming in, ordering their usual's and then I stopped at his table. I hadn’t really been paying attention so I was caught completely off guard. I asked him what he would like to order then after a moment with no response I looked up and saw… him. Oh my god! Wendell!! As live and breathe, it was him. A little older than the last time I saw him but still those same eyes, that same sweet handsome face… and then he smiled. I swear to God, my heart stopped beating for a moment or two.”

Wendy took a deep breath and felt a surge of joy through her entire being. She bit her bottom lip and read on, eager to hear, or read, more about this encounter. She sighed and almost giggled as she realized that her own hands were all but shaking as she turned the page.

“Wen told me that he had been stationed at the Fort for his last posting. He was retiring and would be out of the army soon. He also told me that he had bought his parents’ old house here in town and had been renovating it while serving out his hitch. It was so easy to listen to him and even to talk to him. It was like we had never skipped a beat from when we were teenagers till today. And those eyes… God help me. I want so badly just to melt fall into them and melt in his arms. And I did! He stood up and hugged me. I could have died and gone to heaven in that moment… he felt like… like home.”

Wendy was wiping the tears away now and smiling happily as she tried to continue reading. Gwen went on to tell how she had taken her break and sat with Wendell that afternoon. How they talked and started to catch up. He had asked her to call him when she had time, and gave her his number to be reached at the base. Wendell talked about his being mustered out of the service and how he was going to start his own consulting business still working with and for the army as a civilian contractor who could set his own hours and no longer had to deal with the chain of command for the most part. But mostly… he talked about how happy he was to have found her again, and how much he’d like to see her again if she were willing.

“Willing? I couldn’t believe he was thinking that I didn’t care for him or wouldn’t be interested. I made sure he knew I was happy to see him again and that we should see more of each other in the future. I am so crossing my fingers that everything goes well. I’m so afraid of being this happy and then losing him again. It would kill me.” Gwen signed off that diary entry sounding ever so hopeful and excited.

Wendy caught herself yawning but didn’t want to stop reading. She did, however, get up out of the bed and make her way to the bathroom again. No matter how interesting the reading, a full bladder will trump the priority list. When finished, and while washing her hands again, Wendy looked into the mirror. Was this the face that her mother looked into every day? Was this the face that Wendell and Marylinn were so shocked to see again? Wendy ran one slender hand along her jaw line from her chin to her ear to brush a stray lock of hair behind her ear. Those crystal blue eyes looked back at her, a legacy from her mother. She smiled sadly and wished she had the opportunity to have met her in person, especially after reading so much of her diary and the words she wrote to her, her daughter. Indeed, Wendy felt the love from her mother, not so much a stranger anymore.

Wendy padded quietly back to the guest room and closed the door before climbing back into bed. As much as she wanted to continue reading, her eyes had grown heavy and she knew she should really get some sleep. She rolled onto her side and pulled the diary close to her as if hugging a living being, then reached out and touched the bedside lamp to turn it off.

There was a sound… something tugging at her consciousness… familiar yet strange. There! It happened again. Wendy sat up with a start and her eyes wide open and disoriented for a moment while her mind struggled to catch up. The sound was a soft knocking on the door. Shaking her head to clear the cobwebs she called out.

“Yes?”

“Wendy, it’s Wendell. I was about to leave for the base, I have some contract obligations to attend to this morning. I just wanted to let you know that I was going to be out of the house. I made extra food for breakfast this morning, there’s a plate in the oven when you’re hungry, or you can make anything you like. I’ll be home after lunch sometime.” Wendell announced from outside the closed door.

“Oh! Uh… thanks! Okay… I’ll see you later then… and thank you!” Wendy said in a louder voice so that she could be clearly heard.

She smiled in wonder at the thoughtfulness of the man that hardly knew her. She stretched her arms over her head and rolled her neck around on her shoulders before having a sudden thought. Where was the book? Casting her glance about until she located the binder still lying next to her on the bed. The flood of memories and thoughts that she had read yesterday and last night made her inhale sharply. The realization that it wasn’t a dream bot saddened and elated her. She still had more to read and she hoped to learn more about this woman who was her mother.

Wendy had just picked up her toiletry bag and was heading to the bathroom when she heard Wendell’s jeep start up and back out of the driveway. She stopped once again in the hallway on her way to the bathroom to look at the many pictures on the wall. Pictures she now knew were of her mother and of course Wendell. There was one of Gwen and her own mother holding each other and smiling at the camera. Wendy reached out and reverently touched the glass over that photo… thinking how special that must have been to hold your mother like that. Sure, she had many photos of her and her own adoptive mother, and she loved her dearly, she was, after all the woman who raised her as her own child. Somehow though, it was different she thought as she continued on to the bathroom.

Morning ablutions and a quick shower to freshen up, then brushing her teeth and combing out her hair occupied most of Wendy’s thoughts for the short time she was in the bathroom. That’s not to say that she didn’t look at herself in the mirror again, and wonder. It wasn’t long before Wendy changed her clothes and made her way back down the hall to the kitchen. Indeed, there was a plate with some scrambled eggs, toast and even some bacon on it in the oven. In fact, it was still warm.

She sat the diary on the kitchen table and the plate beside it, before finding an empty coffee cup and pouring some coffee out of the carafe in the coffee maker. Settling in at the table she first opened the diary and found the last entry she had read last night, then turned the page and absent mindedly picked up her fork and began feeding herself as she read her mother’s words.

The detailed recollection about that first night and the rain storm was almost more than Wendy could wrap her mind around. It read almost like a romance novel or maybe a romantic movie. Both exciting and arousing. Wendy shifted in her seat as she read on, spell bound by the telling by her mother. Her excitement and happiness and worry were all evident in her words that she put down in the diary.

Subsequent comments and entries in the diary described the growing excitement and wonder, and yes, love that had bloomed in her mother’s heart. Her sadness that she could only share this with her daughter through her diary, and hopes that someday yet she would still meet only served to temper the growing excitement. Wendy read on ravenously, absorbing her mother’s emotions and thoughts, as much as she had the breakfast that was left for her… which was long gone by now and she was sipping at maybe her third cup of coffee… or was it her fourth?

The reading had to stop for a bit as Wendy’s bladder announced that the coffee had all been processed and was time to be expelled. She picked up her dirty dishes and took them to the sink to rinse them off before putting them in the dishwasher. She then turned off the coffee maker and rinsed out the carafe and left it in the drainer to air dry before making her way to the bathroom.

Wendy had just come back into the kitchen when she heard Wendell’s jeep pull to a stop outside. Instead of sitting back down at the table, she walked to the kitchen door and went out onto the deck. She was leaning on the back rail overlooking the lower deck as Wendell came up the steps. He was carrying a bag from McDonald’s in one hand and a drink carrier in his other hand. He smiled upon seeing her and raised both hands to indicate that he had brought lunch.

“You really shouldn’t have.” Wendy stated with a smile and shaking her head slowly.

“It’s no big deal… really… it’s only McDonald’s… and it was on the way. I figured you were still engrossed in reading the diary and probably hadn’t even thought about eating. Did you eat the breakfast I left in the oven?” He asked as he set the food and drinks down on the glass topped table on the upper deck.

“Yes, thank you, again. That was very kind of you. I just don’t know what to make of you and all this. I mean, you don’t even know me, yet you are so kind and…” Wendy trailed off not knowing what else to say.

“You’re right, I don’t know you. But you are family all the same. You may not be related to me exactly, but you are my wife’s daughter, so, you are family.” Wendell said in way of explanation, those eyes looking at her with that sad smile.

“I hope you like a Big Mac… I took a chance, your mother… Gwen… used to like them when we were younger. I got fries too, and just in case there are some Mc Nuggets in there too. A chocolate shake for you, and a coke for me.” Wendell said as he began unwrapping food and popped a couple of fries into his mouth.

“Yeah, I like Big Macs but how did you know about the chocolate shake?” Wendy asked laughing as she lifted the cup and took a draw from the straw then rolled her eyes with pleasure.

“Again, I took a chance… knowing your…” He began, only to be finished by Wendy…

“…mother used to like them… right.” She said with a smile

Wendell shrugged and they both ate in silence except for appreciative noises that were made. When the food was all but consumed, Wendell sat back in his chair with his soda and looked at Wendy who was doing pretty much the same but with the remainder of her chocolate shake.

“How are you holding up?” Wendell finally asked with a reserved but polite tone.

“It’s a lot to take in… but I think I’m doing okay. I mean… It’s almost as if I’ve been sitting with her and she’s been telling me all this stuff instead of my reading it… if that makes sense.” Wendy responded.

“She was like that. And I know what you mean. I’ve read the diary several times and… it is a lot to take in sometimes. I learned things, reading, that I never knew from the two of us just talking. I think a lot of it was meant only for you, to be honest. How far have you got in the diary?” Wendell asked.

“I just read about the two of you getting married. She seemed so very happy. You know she loved you very, VERY much, right?” Wendy proclaimed more than questioned.

Wendell smiled tightly and looked away as a shadow crossed over his face. Wendy saw him swallow and take a deep breath before he turned back to her and nodded rather than spoke. For some reason that tugged at Wendy’s own heart. To see such love and devotion still so very evident in this man. She knew he truly had a kind heart, and all the stories and tales that her mother had written about made Wendy feel as though she knew this man better than she should.

“Well… I should let you get back to reading, unless you are done for a while. I’ve got a little paperwork to do from today, but I’m going to pop dinner in the oven before I get started on that.” Wendell said as he sat forward and began putting the empty wrappers and trash into the fast-food bags.

“Dinner? You don’t have to feed me, you know.” Wendy said a little bashfully.

“No problem, I need to use up some stuff out of the freezer anyway. I’m thinking one of Gwen’s homemade lasagnas that she pre made and froze for those times we were both busy with work and didn’t have time to cook. It’ll defrost and cook all in one go, while I am busy with my paperwork. Unless you don’t like lasagna that is…” Wendell said pausing, standing beside the table about to head inside.

“Oh! No… I love lasagna… I just didn’t want to put you out or anything. I feel like I’m freeloading as it is. But thank you all the same, really. I do appreciate it.” Wendy said reassuringly even while blushing a little with embarrassment.

Wendell looked at her and smiled, shrugged and said only one word… “Family…” and then walked to the kitchen door and inside. Wendy still sat at the glass topped table and shook her head as she watched him walk away. “I see it, Gwen… he is special.” She said softly to herself.

Wendy finished her chocolate shake and stood and made her way back inside to the kitchen. Wendell had indeed pulled a casserole dish from the freezer and popped in into the oven. A cold oven, thereby letting the dish defrost as the oven heated up. She sat back down at the kitchen table and picked up where she had left off, reading the words from her mother.

“It happened again, today. I had one of those excruciating pains that caused me to double over and nearly pass out. I know that something has to be terribly wrong with me. This is far worse than any menstrual cramp I’ve ever had. I’m afraid to tell Wendell, he would be so very worried. I’ve made an appointment to see my doctor next week. Hopefully it won’t be anything serious but I just have this bad feeling that it might be. I’ll let you know when I know something.”

Wendy read the words and felt a tingle run up the back of her neck. Of course, she knew before reading this far in the diary that her mother had died from cancer. These words were only her mother’s suspicions and worries that foreshadowed the eventual outcome. Wendy bit her lip and sighed for her mother as she continued reading.

“It’s been a few days since I wrote to you, my love. I had a spell while working at the diner and I passed out. They rushed me to the emergency room at the hospital in an ambulance. When I woke up, I was surrounded by doctors and nurses, I was so confused and scared. I guess Marylinn called Wen at the base and let him know. He was by my side in no time. I was still scared, but having him by me meant the world to me. I knew I could face anything with him by my side. He is my rock. They are keeping me for a few days for observation and to run some more tests. Wendell brought my diary to me when I asked him. At least I can share my thoughts while I lay here in this bed and wait. It took a lot of persuasion to convince Wendell to go home. God, I love that man.”

Wendy smiled as she read that last line in the entry. She already knew that her mother and Wendell were both deeply in love and committed to one another but to see it in writing just seemed to move her even more profoundly. Turning the page, she read on.

“We spoke with doctor Cassidy today. It is as I feared, cancer. Wendell immediately asked about treatments and what could be done. To be honest I kind of tuned it all out as my head was spinning. The doctor said that it was in an advanced stage and that while treatments could be done, there was no guarantee that they would be successful. Not to mention that the treatments themselves would be painful and uncomfortable at best. Wendell was all for them, anything that gave me longer and a chance to live. I waited until the doctor had left before I told him I didn’t want to have them. The treatments and therapy would keep me away from him and my home and all that I love. I would rather spend what time I had left with him, at home. He cried, he argued that it wasn’t fair that… but in the end, he agreed. I did acquiesce to take the prescribed pain medication, just to make me more comfortable as long as possible. Oh, my baby girl… I’m so afraid that I will never get to meet you now. Next to having Wendell back in my life, the only greater wish or hope I ever had was to see you, to hold you and to tell you how much I love you. I hope these words find you someday and you will know, that I never stopped loving you and that I wish you all the happiness and joy that any life can bring.”

Wendy felt the tears rolling down her face as she read this entry. The tears dripped from her nose and lips and chin onto the pages of the diary. She noticed that those drops were shadows of former tear stains on the same paper. The ink of the words softened and blurred slightly as a result. To think her mother shed tears as she wrote these very words to her… A polite clearing of his throat from the doorway from the hall startled Wendy.

“I’m sorry… I know… that it can be very emotional. I don’t mean to interrupt but I thought I should check on dinner, the timer should be going off any moment.” Wendell spoke softly as he walked to the stove and slipped on an oven mitt, seemingly to purposefully avoid direct eye contact with Wendy.

“Yeah! You could say that. I had no idea how much it would affect me though.” Wendy half laughed half groaned as she wiped her tears with the backs of her hands and smiled sheepishly at Wendell.

Wendell had just opened the oven door when the timer alarm sounded on the back of the stove. He reached up and turned the timer off and then reached in and pulled out the casserole dish with the lasagna in it. He set the dish on the stove top and then closed the oven and turned it off. He turned around and leaned back against the stove and took the mitten off and held it in both hands. He studied the mitt, still avoiding direct eye contact as he seemed to struggle to find his voice.

“It… makes me choke up every time I’ve read some of those passages. Others make me laugh. She had quite a way of putting her thoughts and feelings into words. She was always good at that though. I think she missed her calling… she should have been a writer… if things had worked out differently.” Wendell proclaimed, sharing some of his own personal thoughts.

“I agree. Oh, my! That smells wonderful.” Wendy said, realizing that she was indeed quite hungry and the smell of the lasagna had her mouth watering.

“I wish I could take credit for it, but my culinary skills are quite limited. This was all Gwen’s doing…” Wendell admitted then faltered as he realized that once again Gwen had reached out and touched his heart and was still caring for him even now… and too, her daughter.

Wendy sensed the emotional moment and not even realizing it she stood and crossed the kitchen to stand before Wendell then lean into him and wrap her arms around him and give him a hug. Wendell tensed, shocked by the sudden show of… affection, or understanding. Hesitantly he moved his own hands to Wendy’s hips, tentatively holding her before wrapping his arms around her completely and holding her tightly to himself. They both gasped and sobbed, sharing their grief and sadness, supporting one another.

After a few moments, both separated and there was an awkward moment with sheepish smiles and watery eyes. Wendell pulled a dish towel from the oven door handle and gave it to Wendy to wipe her tears. She smiled in appreciation and nodded her head and wiped her tears away. Wendell reached for a paper towel and did the same then blew his nose and cleared his throat before snapping back into the moment.

“It’ll be a few minutes for this to cool off a bit so we can serve it. Would you like some salad with the lasagna or maybe some bread and a glass of wine?” He asked as he stepped to the fridge and opened it up.

“Oh… Um… a glass of wine would be… wonderful. That and some bread with the lasagna would be plenty I think.” Wendy responded, as she went back to the table and stood behind the chair, she had been sitting in. “Is there anything I can do to help?” She asked feeling like she should be helping in some way.

“No, I’ve got it. Thank you though. All I have is a couple of bottles of Chianti... Is that okay?” He asked.

“That would be wonderful.” Wendy replied and sat back down and looked once again at the diary still open in front of her. She noted that there were only a few pages left in the book to read and felt a pang in her heart knowing what that meant. Her time with her mother, such that it was, was coming to an end. For some reason that saddened her to her core. After running her right hand over the pages tenderly as if caressing the one who wrote it, she gently closed the book and pushed it to the side for now.

Having recovered somewhat from his momentary emotional break, Wendell, served out two portions of the lasagna on their plates and then opened a bottle of the Chianti and poured each of them a tall glass full of the sweet red wine. He then bowed his head for a moment of silence, perhaps to say grace silently in his mind. He was somewhat startled when he felt a small warm hand envelope his as he rested it on the table beside his plate.

Wendell opened his eyes and looked at Wendy. Her gaze was both apologetic and understanding and her smile was warm and kind. She nodded her head and then withdrew her hand and they both began to eat. After a few bites in silence, Wendy began to rave about the complex and wonderful flavors in the lasagna, the appreciative noises they both made were sincere compliments to the chef, may she rest in peace.

With a sigh, Wendy wiped her mouth on her napkin and grabbed her wine glass before leaning back in her chair. She and Wendell both had had seconds of the lasagna but neither could do any more. Wendell was half turned in his chair already, one leg crossed over the other at the knee and his right arm casually draped over the back of the chair as he too sipped at his wine. Wendy swirled the wine in her glass and seemed to be lost in thought for a moment.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Wendell spoke.

She shrugged and then took another sip before holding the glass up to see how much was left in it before speaking.

“I’ve been searching for what seems like forever… to find my mother. When I did find her, it was too late. Well… too late for her that is. I feel like I missed one of the greatest opportunities of my life not finding her in time. Reading her diary… I don’t know… I feel like I did get to meet her, sort of. Maybe not the best way to meet someone or get to know them, but I feel fortunate all the same. To think she cared enough to do this… I truly think that she did care… that she… loved me.” Wendy spoke the last two words with a very tight voice, then tipped her glass up and drained the remainder of the wine in one gulp.

“Oh, I have no doubt whatsoever that she loved you. I have to agree though, it is almost unbearably sad that she never got to meet you. I think she would have been amazed and astounded, and the happiest woman in the world.” Wendell said as he too studied his wine glass before draining it as well.

“Let me help clean up, at least.” Wendy spoke as she stood up and picked her plate up from the table.

“I might insist that it’s not necessary, but I suspect I would get an argument if I did so. So, thank you. I’ll get a container to put the leftovers in and you can rinse the plates before putting them in the dishwasher.” Wendell said gracefully with a bit of a smirk on his face.

Wendy did just that, there was no food on the plates to scrape off and only a bit of sauce to rinse from them. The dishes went into the dishwasher followed by the casserole dish and the silverware by Wendell. Wendy picked up the bottle of Chianti from the table and noted that it wasn’t quite empty yet.

“It’d be a shame to waste this.” She said thoughtfully, then looked at Wendell.

“I wouldn’t hear of it. I say we take that and the other bottle and go out on the deck and relax under the stars. I have a feeling that we might have company there… at least in spirit maybe.” Wendell said with a sad smile.

And so, they did. Wendy took the opened bottle and her glass. Wendell took his glass and grabbed the second bottle from the fridge. They both sat in cushioned chairs surrounding the fire pit overlooking the back yard. Frowning for a moment, Wendell set his glass and bottle down then returned to the kitchen door and reached in and turned the exterior lights off. To Wendy it seemed as if the sky suddenly exploded with stars. There were no nearby street lamps or other big light sources to cloak the heavens.

Wendell sat back down in his chair and Wendy leaned across and emptied the rest of her bottle into his glass. It wasn’t much but they still had another whole bottle yet. Wendell tapped the empty bottle in toast and they both sat back and gazed up at the stars in silence for a while.

“From what I’ve read… she loved you very much. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to cause you any more pain… I just wanted to let you know, I get it. You said you’ve read the diary so you know how much she thought of you and how much she loved you.” Wendy said with a sober quiet voice of one making a confession.

“Yes. I know she did, and you know as well, from reading the same passages, that she loved you very much as well. She had always hoped to meet you one day…” Wendell responded but his voice choked up and he fell silent for a few moments. He lifted his glass and drained it in one gulp.

They both sat in silence for a while longer. The sounds of the night around them almost seemed as if to serenade them, to sooth their nerves and ease their sad contemplations. The rising and falling of the crickets almost sounding as waves on a beach. The light breeze blowing through the leaves accompanied them and the occasional owl or night bird’s trill punctuated the symphony played for them. Yet, both of them, Wendy and Wendell alike, heard their own heartbeats in their ears as well, as if keeping time with their own thoughts.

“I know that it’s never mentioned in her diary, but did you know that one of the things that Gwen… your mother… had once dreamed of becoming, was a librarian?” Wendell asked somewhat distractedly.

Wendy nearly dropped her glass, fumbling but catching it in time. She inhaled sharply almost as if a gasp. She turned to look at Wendell to see if he were perhaps joking. Wendell sensed her surprise and tilted his head questioningly as he returned her gaze, curious of her response to that mention.

“What? It’s not that unusual of a dream. I used to kid her about it when we were kids. I thought it would be a boring job… tedious even.” Wendell said with a shrug.

“That is just too… ironic…” Wendy said still with a shocked and somewhat awed expression on her face.

“Why is that?” Wendell inquired.

“Because… I wanted the same thing when I was going to school. In fact, I majored in Library and Information Science… I’m a librarian. Well… I will be when I get a job somewhere, I hope.” Wendy said still sounding a little awestruck.

Wendell felt a bit of a chill run up his neck, as if someone were looking over his shoulder. He could almost feel Gwen’s presence there on the deck with them. He smiled that sweet sad smile and then reached down beside him and lifted the second bottle of chianti and opened it.

“That calls for a toast…” He said as he poured more wine into Wendy’s glass and then more into his own before setting the bottle back down.

“To… Librarians! May they always have books… and places to put them.” Wendell said with a sardonic grin and tapped his glass to Wendy’s as she grinned if a little unsurely and then they both took a drink.

“Wow… That’s… bizarre.” She almost mumbled it was so soft.

“Why is that?” Wendell asked as he studied his glass intently, or seemingly so. His mind was elsewhere at the moment… like decades ago, recalling a teasing that he had given Gwen when she had told him that she was going to become a librarian someday.

“That my mother… birth mother… and I both loved books so much we wanted to become librarians.” Wendy said in that still pensive tone of voice.

“That she did. Love books I mean. If ever there was a bookworm, it would have been Gwen. She was always carting around at least one book, often more. I think she loved reading simply because it took her away from the here and now, the real world, and she could be transported to other places… happier places… exciting, exotic, fantastic places. I told her that she should maybe try to write a book someday…” Wendell said trailing off that last statement as the realization hit him, and hit him hard.

“I guess she did… didn’t she?” Wendell asked in a choked voice, with a sad, very sad, smile on his face.

He lifted his glass to the heavens in a silent toast and then took another sip of the wine before holding the glass to his cheek. Wendy tried not to stare at him but she couldn’t take her eyes away if she wanted to. Wendell sat there with the wine glass to his cheek, and that sad smile… and a tear ran down his cheek as his bottom lip trembled slightly for a moment before he swallowed a lump in his throat.

Wendy, too, felt tight in her chest. Her mother, Gwen, had indeed wrote a book. Her book… to Wendy. She bridged the years and the uncertainty with dreams, hopes and most importantly, love. She knew in that moment that whatever she had remaining to yet be read was probably the most important thing in her life at the moment. She wanted… no… she needed to know what her mother had to tell her before the end. In a way she didn’t want the story to end, she wanted to keep reading and keep learning about this woman that carried her and gave birth to her. Who loved her with every fiber of her body even though she had to give her away to others to raise as their own.

She emptied her glass and stood, taking a moment to steady herself. She stepped over to Wendell’s chair and softly laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. He in turn covered her hand with his free hand and patted it lightly. Neither saying a word about the moment. But Wendy did speak.

“I have a little more to read yet… in her book. I’ll say goodnight now and leave you to your thoughts.”

“Goodnight. See you at breakfast maybe?” Wendell said still not looking at her.

“That would be nice, thank you.” Wendy responded.

“Goodnight then.” Wendell said and raised his glass to empty it.

From inside the kitchen, looking back out onto the deck, Wendy watched Wendell lift the bottle and begin to pour more wine into his glass, then stopped. Instead, he set the glass on the deck next to his chair and simply drank from the bottle. She understood that he intended to finish it himself, perhaps to numb the pain of memory and loss.

Wendy picked up the diary from the kitchen table where she had left it, and carried it to the guest room. She changed her clothes and then went down the hall to the bathroom to brush her teeth and use the bathroom before returning. She slipped under the covers and pulled the diary into her lap to pick up where she had stopped reading earlier in the evening. The final entry was sealed.

A modified manila folder, the fold perforated with three holes for the binder but one side half again as long as the other so that it could fold over creating an envelop of sorts. The flap was sealed with old fashioned sealing wax like those used on historic documents. The seal was not intricate of ornate, no symbol or crest or anything at all embossed into it, just a thin layer of the sealing wax. And penned in flowing hand written *********** was the single line… “For my daughter’s eyes only.”

The simple fact that the seal was unbroken testified the proof that the final words of the diary had not been read by Wendell. As wished by her late mother. Wendy ran her index finger lightly over the wax seal then turned to the side table and opened the drawer to look for something to break the seal with. She didn’t find anything but she remembered a nail file that she had in her toiletries bag so she got up and retrieved it. Sitting back down on the bed, she pulled the diary onto her lap and eased the file under the flap at the edge of the wax seal and worked her way slowly across it breaking the seal.

After setting the file aside on the side table, Wendy took a deep breath to steady herself and cautiously opened the flap, bending it backwards to lay flat under itself behind the written pages within the envelop it had made. She then began reading.

… I know my time is short. The medications help, but they can’t take away all the pain. It’s almost constant now, like an all over body ache that I can feel all the way into my bones. The pain is familiar though. I’ve known it in one form or another almost all of my life. I wonder what it will be like to not have this pain anymore. I’m almost looking forward to finding out… almost.

In all honesty I don’t want to leave this life. It had finally just started turning around, life has been good for this recent part. I had resigned myself to living alone, not experiencing joy and love that I’ve always read about and dreamed about. I had given up really. Then my darling Wendell came back into my life. It was as if I had been reborn, given a second chance at love and happiness. The only thing that could have made it better was to have finally met you my darling girl. But now, it seems I will never get the chance to do that. That would have made my life complete and I could have died happy. Let’s just say that when I do go, I will go at least still hopeful.

Hopeful in that someday you will come looking for me and you will find this diary. I have left instructions with my darling Wendell to give this to you. I hope you will accept it and read it. I have tried to write down every thought and emotion that I’ve ever had so that you will know how very much I loved you… even if I had to give you away for you to have a better shot at life. I gave you away, yes, but I never for one moment stopped loving you.

If only things could have happened differently. I dream of how wonderful life could have been if Wendel and I had never drifted apart so long ago, had we married and had a child… you. We could have been the happiest and most blessed family ever. To have the two loves of my life together with me my whole life… yes, it is but a dream. A dream that puts a smile on my face whenever I think about it. But now this. Cancer. I almost feel as though I’ve been cheated, once more, by bad luck or ill fates or by something I will never understand or comprehend. Maybe it’s just plain bad luck. I’m very familiar with that I suppose. I do, however, hope that I have taken all that bad luck rather than to have it touch you. I’m afraid my darling Wendell was touched by it though. He loves me so very much, so deeply, that I know my passing will hurt him very badly. It breaks my heart to think of how much it’s going to hurt him.

I wish there were some way that I could help him after I’m gone. To make sure he will know how much and how very deeply I love him. Yes, he will have this diary to read, and he will know at least some of how much he means to me. But I don’t want my passing to end that love. I had a thought last night as I lay down to try to sleep. I’m not sure if it was a dream or just my addled mind playing tricks on me, but the thought was intriguing.

Of the two things I love most in this world were to… come together… to support one another, to even love one another… God, even trying to describe this thought makes it sound twisted. I know you are both separate and independent people. You’ve never met him and he doesn’t know you from any stranger on the street. You might not even like one another when or if you ever do meet. I will hold on to that hope and dream that you do someday come looking for me though. And… if you do… that you will accept this diary and read it through to the end.

My darling daughter… I wish I knew your name… I can never love you in person despite how much I do love you, because I won’t be here. I will no longer be able to show love to my darling friend and husband Wendell… because I won’t be here. It is my greatest wish… hope… dream even… that the two of you might lean on one another and draw strength and… perhaps love… from one another after I’m gone. Knowing that the two greatest loves of my life can or could make up for my absence and love each other as much as I love each of you… I could rest in peace for eternity.

Now I’m not saying that you have to love him… but be kind to him if it’s in your heart. I do think that if you did open your heart, you would find that you couldn’t possibly find another who is so loving and kind and amazing. If I could give him to you I would, but I know that’s not how things work. He is his own person, and he would have to open himself up to you. Just as you would have to open yourself up to him. But I do think… no… I KNOW… in my heart that if you two did open up, and try, that you would be very happy indeed.

So, as weird as it sounds. And I know it sounds weird. I want you to know that you have my blessings… both of you… to follow your hearts.

My darling little girl. A woman now, of course. This last and final entry was left only for you. What you have just read has only been seen by my eyes until now as you have read this. I told Wendell that he could read it, the diary, in its entirety except for the final entry. That this final entry was for your eyes only, but that after you have read it, you could share it with him if you wanted. You know the reason for this though. My unusual request that you consider my darling Wendell for you own… It would have been awkward for him to know that beforehand. And, to be honest, if he didn’t want to, he might never have given this diary to you to begin with. So now the decision is yours. I hope you know how very much I love you, both. That I only wish the best for both of you, your happiness and to feel loved and cherished as much I do both of you.

Wendell… if you are reading this then my daughter has decided that she should share my last wish with you, to consider. Neither one of you are mine to give away. But I do love you both so very much. So much that it breaks my heart to think that either of you would hurt after I’m gone. You, my love, have shown me what true love really means. What it is to be cherished and adored. My best friend since the day we met and even when I didn’t know it, the love of my life. It took being separated and missing you to realize just how much you meant to me. If by some chance, you and my daughter could come to love one another even half as much as the love I felt from and for you… Well… just the very thought of it makes my heart swell. If this happens, Wen… know that you have my blessings. Go into it with an open heart. That same heart that you shared with me. I love you… I love both or you. Farewell.

Wendy’s hands were trembling as she read the final page in the diary. She closed her eyes and her head fell back against the pillow propped behind her on the headboard. She wept. Silent rolling sobs heaving her chest and making her heart ache. Who was this woman? Why had she written those words to her… and to her husband… Wendell?

At some point she fell asleep, the book still open on her lap. It was a fitful sleep, with dreams of meeting her mother. She felt as if she were looking into a mirror when they met. And when they embraced, a motherly/daughterly hug that melted her heart. Both shed tears and laughed. They walked hand in hand through places that Gwen had written about in her diary. Wendy saw Wendell as a young boy, meeting her mother for the first time and how he handily intervened with the two bullies who were accosting her mother. Later, lying in the grass watching the stars above in the backyard, talking about dreams and hopes for the future. It was is if she were living her mother’s life as it was written about in the diary. Right up to the saddest entries at the end.

Wendy woke with a start, disoriented for a moment before she realized that she was in the here and now, and not in a dream. Her mother’s diary still resting in her lap, still sitting up, if leaning back against the pillows at the headboard on a bed in the guestroom. She heard the toilet flush and then the water tap turned on in the bathroom down the hall. Wendell was up and about. She immediately thought of the last entry in the diary, and about Wendell.

To be honest with herself, she had to admit that even with no intentions to begin with, she had admired the man from the beginning. He was not hard on the eyes, for one, but it was his gentle nature that had endeared him to her. The look in his eyes when he would talk about her late mother, it was pure love and affection. After reading about him in the diary, she understood more deeply about the man the boy grew to be. She could understand why her mother was so very much, very deeply in love with him. He was certainly more mature and more… of a man… than any guy she had ever known, except for her adoptive father perhaps. She did, of course, love both of her adoptive parents, they were… the only parents she had ever known really. They were her mom and dad. Wendell was not her dad. He was a man. A widower now, but still a handsome, thoughtful, caring, loving, gentle man… who was hurting in his heart. Someone like that should not be in pain.

But even if she were so inclined to explore the possibilities of a relationship with Wendell, what would he think about it. Would he scoff at the idea? Would he simply ask her to leave and never return? Wendy would understand if he did… wait… understand? Had she actually entertained the thought of something with Wendell as her mother had suggested in the diary? Wendy shook her head to clear the cobwebs of her mind. She had to think about this a great deal more… and… she had to give the diary to Wendell to read that final entry. Then… she would have to wait to see what his thoughts were.

The sound of the bathroom door down the hall opening and footsteps padding down the hallway to the kitchen prompted Wendy to get out of bed and make her own pilgrimage to the bathroom. She completed her business and brushed her teeth before returning to the guestroom to get dressed for the day. After which, she went to the kitchen.

“Good morning.” Wendell announced, then winced a bit as he raised his coffee cup to take a sip while sitting at the table.

“Good morning.” Wendy responded with a sad smile as she made her way to the coffee machine to fill a cup for herself.

She joined Wendell at the table and they both sat and sipped their coffees for a few moments. Wendell once again openly looked at Wendy, not quite staring really but studied her all the same. He couldn’t help being still somewhat in awe by how much she looked like his Gwen, her mother. His heart ached a little each time he looked at her. Part of him, perhaps it was his heart, wanted nothing more than to just wrap her in his arms and hold her close… as if neve to lose her again. He knew that was just not right though. This was not his Gwen, no matter how much she looked like her… or sounded like her… or smelled like… no… just not his Gwen.

“Rough night?” Wendy asked between sips of her coffee.

“Yeah…” Was all Wendell could say in response.

“Did you drink the rest of that second bottle all by yourself last night?” Wendy asked with a wry grin.

“Yeah…” Again, a single word reply from Wendell.

“At least it was good last night…” Wendy chided with a bit of a smirk.

“It… helped.” Wendell sighed then asked. “How about you, get much more reading in before sleeping?”

“Yeah…” Wendy responded, one word.

Wendell sensed a change in her tone and even her posture as she sat across the table from him sipping her coffee. Maybe it was because he was still emotionally raw himself, but a feeling of empathy swept over him and he thought he could feel Wendy’s uncertainty. What could he do to ease her mind?

“I don’t have to go to the base today. So, I’ll be around the house all day if you need anything. I had planned on mowing the yard and then maybe grilling some steaks for dinner tonight. Do you like steak?” He asked.

“Oh… that would be… wonderful. Thank you. Is there anything I could do to help?” Wendy responded with a question of her own.

“Well… not right now… but maybe closer to dinner, you could make a salad however you like. I’ve got some potatoes in the pantry, you could bake a couple of those if you like baked potatoes that is.” Wendell offered.

“Sounds like a plan then.” Wendy answered with a smile.

“Dinner time is a long way away though, now that my stomach has settled a bit, I’m feeling like some breakfast… or brunch maybe. Would you care to share a couple of eggs and some toast with me? Maybe some cottage cheese and some fruit to go with.” Wendell asked as he stood up and moved to the fridge.

“That would be… lovely.” Wendy answered with a smile. “Thank you.”

“Wendell… have you ever read the final entry in my mother… Gwen’s… diary?” Wendy asked hesitantly.

“No… I haven’t. Gwen asked me not to read it until her daughter had read it… you had read it. I’m not sure why though. I’ve often wondered about that, but I did make the promise, so I haven’t read it.” Wendell answered as he dropped a couple of slices of bread into the toaster as the frying pan was warming up on the stove.

“I did… last night…” Wendy said distractedly.

Wendell turned to look at her as she sat at the table, her gaze in the distance, clearly looking inward rather than seeing outward. She looked as if to be weighing something in her mind and maybe her heart. He turned back to his meal preparation and cracked a couple of eggs into the frying pan. That done, he dropped the shells into the trash and went to the fridge for the cottage cheese, and a basket of mixed berries. Strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries and raspberries.

“I’ve got some thinking to do… about that last entry.” Wendy confessed as she stood up from the table and went to the dishwasher to pull out two clean plates from last night’s dinner.

She set the plates on the counter by the stove for Wendell, then grabbed silverware and a couple of bowls to bring to the table. She collected the cottage cheese and berries and brought them to the table as well before returning to the coffee maker and bringing the carafe to the table to refill both of their coffee cups. She was just putting the carafe back in the machine when the toast popped up from the toaster. She collected those and cut them into triangles and set them on the plates. Wendell had just removed the frying pan from the stove and was moving the eggs to the plates as well. They carried their plates to the table and sat back down.

They both ate in silence for a while. It was a simple meal but it was still nice, if for no other reason than they were sharing it. Every time Wendell looked up from his plate, he would find Wendy studying him. She would blush and avert her eyes, perhaps a little embarrassed. Still, he could not get over just how much she looked like his Gwen. It almost took his breath away each time he looked at her.

After finishing eating, Wendell sat back in his chair with his cup of coffee and took a longer look at Wendy. She too had sat back and was again sipping at her own coffee.

“What are you going to do all day, now that you’ve finished reading the diary?” Wendell asked out of curiosity.

“I do have an interview later this morning actually. With the Hardin County School board. I applied for a librarian position they had advertised for. It seems that they had an opening after one of their librarians retired recently.” Wendy said with a bit more enthusiasm than she had shown so far that morning.

“That’s wonderful. I hope you do well.” Wendell answered with a smile and raised his coffee cup as if in toast.

“Thanks. I’m not going to hold my breath, but it would be amazing if I got the job. It’d sure beat working in the mall selling clothes.” Wendy gushed.

“Selling clothes? Oh, you mean you’ve been working in retail… at a mall. I guess it could be worse, but I can see wanting to do something else.” Wendell agreed.

“Something I studied for and trained to do and want to do…” Wendy said as if to affirm her own hopes and wishes.

“Do you need a ride there? To you interview?” Wendell asked.

“I was just going to call an Uber… if I can get one.” Wendy said.

“You can borrow my jeep if you like, save your money.” Wendell offered with a shrug.

“Really?” Wendy asked, surprised by his offer.

“Really. I’m going to be busy with the yard and stuff till well after lunch. You’re welcome to use the jeep.” Wendell answered back with a smile.

“Well… okay… but at least let me clean up after breakfast. I mean I feel like I’m freeloading on your hospitality as it is.” Wendy said sheepishly as she sat forward and started stacking the dirty dishes.

“Well, if you’re going to twist my arm, I guess that would be okay.” Wendell said with a smile as he emptied his coffee cup and handed it to Wendy.

Wendy smiled and stood to take the dishes to the sink to rinse them. She returned to gather the cottage cheese container and the rest of the mixed berries to put them into the fridge. She made short work of rinsing the dishes and putting them in the dishwasher. Wendell stood up and fished the keys to his jeep out of a pocket in his jeans and held them up to show Wendy. He set the keys on the table and said he would be in the back yard with the mower if she needed anything. If not, he’d see her when she returned.

Wendy wiped her hands on a dishtowel before draping it back over the handle to the oven. She walked to the back door and watched Wendell walk across the yard to the garage and go in. Moments later he came back out pushing a lawnmower. He bent down to fiddle with this and that before straightening up and pulling the starter cord. The little motor on the mower roared to life and he pushed it towards the lawn to begin mowing.

Wendell started the mower and then adjusted the throttle to a good working setting, before pushing the mower into the grass of the back yard. He had mown this yard so many times that his mind didn’t even think about it anymore. His mind was free to wander and think about other things. In a way it helped with doing the tedious and mundane task, making it seem to go by much faster. It was, among other things, relaxing, but mostly, it allowed him to think without distractions.

Today it wasn’t anything to do with work or ongoing projects. No, today it was all personal. He felt torn. Losing his Gwen not so long ago had been the hardest thing he’d ever gone through in his life. Nothing even came close to comparing, until now. For so long after her passing, Wendell had kept busy, distracting himself with work to the point of obsession. Anything to keep his mind and heart off of missing his dear beloved Gwen. And then… She showed up on his doorstep.

Not Gwen, of course, but God help him, her daughter was the spitting image of his late wife. Just looking at her brings back all the joy and happiness and love… and sadness of losing her. And little things like last night’s dinner. Reheating the lasagna that Gwen herself had made in advance, for times when he would not have time to cook for himself. She always had thought of things like that. Taking care of him in ways that he would never have anticipated. So many little things that reminded him of her, and that tugged at his heart. He missed her so very much. And yet, Wendy, seemed so very much like Gwen that it frightened him somewhat. He felt guilty for the attraction that he felt for the younger woman.

He knew how much Gwen loved the girl, the daughter, that she had to give up so long ago. Wendy meant the world to Gwen, even if she never got to meet her before she died. Just thinking of that made Wendell’s heart break a little bit more. “Oh Gwen… what am I going to do?” He thought to himself as he mechanically went about mowing the back yard. Wendell didn’t even notice when Wendy came out of the house and left in his jeep.

“What am I going to do?” Wendy thought to herself as she eased the jeep out onto the main road and headed off towards the Hardin County Department of Education office and her interview appointment. She had to struggle to keep her mind on her resume and think about the appointment. What if she actually did get the job? She would have to find an apartment nearby, hopefully within walking distance to whatever school she ended up working at.

The irony, now that she knew that her birth mother, too, had longed to be a librarian, was just mind boggling. What if she ended up working at the very school where her mother had graduated from… where she had studied… taking care of the very library that she had so loved herself? Google maps directed Wendy directly to the address she had typed in. She pulled into the parking lot and took one of the visitor parking spaces near the front of the building.

She was early for her appointment time but not by too much. She collected her portfolio and a copy of her resume from the passenger seat and exited the jeep. Minutes later she sat in a waiting room for her name to be called by the receptionist. As she sat there, her mind wandered once again to her mother, to Wendell and what she had read in her mother’s final entry in the diary. What was she going to do?

“Miss Larson? Mrs. Jackson will see you now.” The receptionist said as she hung up her phone.

Wendy stood up and smoothed her skirt down before collecting her portfolio and resume. She walked to the door of Mrs. Jackson’s office and knocked softly before opening the door to enter. Seated behind her desk, an elderly silver haired woman sat with her head down over some paperwork. As Wendy approached, she could see that it was a copy of her own resume actually. She stopped in front of the desk and politely cleared her throat. The woman absent mindedly waved a hand towards a chair in front of the desk and said… “please have a seat, Miss Larson. I’m just refreshing my memory with your resume.”

Wendy sat on the edge of the comfortably padded chair and held her portfolio and her copy of her resume in her lap and waited on the woman to satisfy herself with her reading. The older woman absentmindedly nodded her head a few times and Wendy saw her eyebrows arch a couple of times as if surprised or impressed.

“Very impressive, Miss Larson… I must say.” Mrs. Jackson commented.

Finally with a tapping of the ink pen in her hand, the woman pushed the resume slightly away from her and set the pen down. Raising her face up she took a good look at Wendy. When she did, she paused a moment then blinked rapidly and looked closer with a touch of confusion on her face.

“I’m sorry… it’s just that you remind me of someone…” Mrs. Jackson said somewhat apologetically.

“I seem to be getting that a lot lately.” Wendy confessed as her face reddened a bit with a blush.

“I know you’re not from around here, I just read your resume… but you look so very much like…” Mrs. Jackson began again, still looking on in wonder.

“Like Gwendolyn Jacobs… Gwendolyn Rene Jacobs?” Wendy supplied with a bit of a tilt to her head.

“Yes! That’s who I was thinking about. She worked for me her all through high school when I was the librarian at Hardin County High. She was such a lovely girl. I always wondered what happened to her.” Mrs. Jackson replied, her face going a little blank as she seemed to be going over memories in her mind for a moment.

“I’m her daughter. Or so the records show anyway. I’m afraid that my birth mother fell on hard times at the end of high school. In fact, well… I won’t go into that but she ended up with child, me, and knowing she could not support herself and me she gave me up for adoption at birth. I’ve just recently been able to track down and locate her.” Wendy informed the older lady.

“Oh? How is she doing then? I hope your reunion went well.” Mrs. Jackson said hopefully, her face brightening.

“Sadly, I was too late. My birth mother, Gwendolyn, had passed away recently from cancer. I never actually got a chance to meet her.” Wendy said in a somber tone, her face showing a touch of the sadness she felt over the situation.

“Oh! I am so sorry for your loss… She really was a gem when I knew her. I had such hopes for her to follow her dreams. Did you know that she too wanted to become a librarian?” Mrs. Jackson quipped.

“Actually, I just learned that last night, from her husband.” Wendy said with a bit of wonder in her voice now. “I found it ironic, indeed.”

“Her husband? Then she did get married after all. Who did she marry, if I may ask?” Mrs. Jackson asked.

“She married her best friend from school, and growing up, but that was somewhat recently as well. They seemed to have drifted apart their last year of high school and he left to join the army and was gone for many, many years. But when he returned to town for his final posting, at the fort, they met up again, and… well… the rest is history. They were married and everything was wonderful until she fell ill with cancer.” Wendy relayed in a dreamlike voice as she recalled passages from her mother’s diary that tugged at her own heartstrings.

“That is sad… still though… who was, is, he?” The older lady asked again.

Wendy smiled and bowed her head realizing she hadn’t even mentioned his name. “I’m sorry, it was Wendell. Wendell Anders.”

“Oh! How delightful! I always thought that those two should be a couple. They used to spend hours and hours in my library. So well behaved and polite. Always the gentleman that one was. And I could tell even back then that he adored Gwen.” Mrs. Jackson beamed before a sad look crossed her face and she had to shake herself out of her doldrums.

“Anyway. Back to business. I’ve reviewed your resume and have actually contacted several of your references listed within. I must say Miss Larson…”

“Wendy… please…” Wendy interjected.

“I must say… Wendy… that I’m quite impressed… for one so young, you seem to be highly accomplished and well thought of by previous instructors and employers. Why did you seek to find employment here in our fair county?” Mrs. Jackson queried.

“Partly because I felt it was time for a change. While working in Chicago might sound glamorous to some, it’s fraught with problems. It’s a big city, with lots of people, but also lots of crime and unrest and an alarming lack of interest in books and libraries. Everyone wants to go digital, electronic books and articles and the internet. The last library I worked at was more of a ghost town than a place or wonder or learning. That… and, well… I was still searching for my birth mother at the time and when I learned that she was from here, and that your school board was looking to hire a librarian… it just seemed like a sign to me. So, I applied.” Wendy explained, a hopeful look on her face as she waited to see if her explanation was a hit or a miss with the elder librarian.

“Well, I see. I couldn’t agree more with you about the desire of many to forego traditional libraries in favor of electronic contrivances. It’s a shame really. It just takes away so many layers of human interaction. But I digress. That last question was more of a personal curiosity than would apply to your job application.” Mrs. Jackson continued, she gathered Wendy’s resume together and tapped the edges on the desktop to square them all up neatly before closing the manilla folder and setting it aside.

The older woman again studied Wendy’s face and shook her head in marvel as she once again was impressed by the striking resemblance of the girl from so long ago. Her smile was genuine, however and the bit of sparkle in her eyes gave Wendy a good feeling for this interview and caused her hopes to soar.

“Miss Larson… I’m sorry… Wendy… I know it’s a formality, having to have the rest of the school board sign off on your employment, but I can tell you with all honesty and, pleasure, that you are now hired. Welcome to Hardin County. As for where in the school system you will be working, the immediate opening is at the senior high school… my old stomping grounds.” Mrs. Jackson said with a gleam in her eyes.

“Oh! That… that’s fantastic! I mean… thank you!” Wendy gushed, a little surprised by the declaration.

“I assume you will need some time to relocate, to find a place to stay, of course. And there will be all the usual bureaucratic paperwork involved like filling out your W-2s and insurance forms and what not. We can put that off till next week sometime, giving the board time to give their blessings.” Mrs. Jackson picked up her pen and reached for a business card from the little holder on her desk then scribbled her personal phone number on the back of the card before handing it to Wendy.

“Here is my home phone number, in case you need anything or have any questions. The board meets this Friday evening so how about we have you come in Monday morning, again to my office, and we’ll get that paper chases started.” She added, extending her hand with the card across the desk to Wendy.

“Monday morning. Yes, of course. Thank you! Thank you so much Mrs. Jackson.” Wendy said effusively as she accepted the card and stood up from her chair.

Wendy practically skipped out of the office she was so excited. Once back in Wendell’s jeep, she sat for a spell just bubbling with excitement and wondering what her next steps would be. Moving, of course, but before that, she needed to find a place to live. And then, her stomach growled. She giggled again and looked at the clock on the dash, realizing that it was lunch time. For some reason, the diner sprang to mind. So that’s where she went.

Marylinn paused in her refilling the coffee machine carafe when she saw Wendy take a seat at the counter. She looked about askingly for Wendell. Not seeing him she moved over to the counter to Wendy, turned over a coffee cup and poured before even asking. Wendy in turn smiled at her warmly as she picked up the menu and took a look at the ***********ions.

“Hi there. You look happy about something.” Marylinn commented in way of greeting.

“I am.” Wendy responded, smiling sweetly before going on to elaborate. “I just got a job.”

“A job? Really? Where are you going to be working and doing what?” Marylinn asked with curiosity as she pretended to be wiping the counter in order to spend more time with Wendy.

“I’m going to be the new librarian at the high school.” Wendy bubbled over with excitement.

“Librarian huh? Is that something that makes you happy?” Marylinn asked, a little puzzled by her choice of work.

“Absolutely! That’s what I went to school for. I’ve always wanted to be a librarian.” Wendy confessed.

Marylinn shook her head with a sense of ironic amusement. She leaned forward and placed both hands and forearms on the counter top in front of her and spoke in an almost conspiratorial whisper.

“Your mother used to talk about how she had always wanted to be a librarian… did you know that?” She asked Wendy.

“As a matter of fact, Wendell told me that very thing last night over dinner.” Wendy said in a subdued whisper in return. “I had chills when he told me that. Just one more connection to her I suppose.”

“Speaking of Wendell, where is he at? I see his jeep in the parking lot.” Marylinn asked.

“I had my interview at the Department of Education earlier and he let me use his jeep to get there. He’s at home mowing the lawn and doing some other odd jobs he said he needed to tend to…” Wendy confessed and grew quiet again at the end, as though she were distracted again.

Marylinn saw the shift in the younger woman’s demeanor and felt the need to ask further.

“Is everything okay?” She asked reaching out and laying one hand atop of one of Wendy’s.

Wendy looked up and smiled weakly and shrugged. Internally she was thinking of her mother’s last diary entry… the request she had made to her, the daughter that she had never met. As well as the last bit addressed to Wendell. Wendy didn’t know whether to ask Marylinn about it or even how she would begin a conversation about such a thing. So, she just kept it to herself, yet, and shrugged and tried to smile again.

Marylinn studied the younger woman closely sensing that there was something there, something that was weighing on her mind if not troubling her. Maybe it was the love and affection she still had for Gwen that was transferring over to Wendy, maybe it was caring for Wendell in much the same way… or simply that Wendy had grown on her in such a short time as she had known her… days really. Nonetheless, she felt that Wendy needed help or at least encouragement.

“Well, if that stubborn oaf gives you any trouble, let me know. I’ll set him straight.” Marylinn professed with mock gruffness.

Wendy genuinely smiled at that and rolled her eyes before glancing back then looking away a bit flustered and biting her bottom lip. That’s when the bells and whistles went off in Marylinn’s mind. Not that she could blame Wendy, hell, she herself would have fallen for Wendell a thousand times over had she not been happily married and faithful. He was a catch… if you could catch him.

“Girl… I know that look. I’ve seen it before. Your own mother, bless her heart, had that very same look when Wendell came back into her life. I don’t know what’s going on between you and him, but you could do far worse… very far worse.” She whispered, again, conspiratorially with a wink before straightening up and pulling out her order pad and a pencil.

“He has been nothing short of a gentleman, really. I would never want to hurt him in any way…” Wendy began and then shook her head as if to banish the thoughts that were dashing through her mind.

“Um… can I get a burger maybe? And some fries?” Wendy asked as she folded the menu and put it back in its holder on the counter.

“Sure love. I’ll get the cook right on that. More coffee or maybe a soft drink?” Marylinn asked as she tore the order slip from her pad.

“How about a chocolate shake?” Wendy asked with a contemplative look on her face.

“Got ya… one chocolate shake coming right up.” Marylinn said with a smile as she turned to pin the order on the kitchen’s order wheel.

Wendy watched Marylinn put two scoops of chocolate ice cream in the blender cup and a splash of milk. She then placed the cup under the agitator on the shake machine and hit the start button. The whirring sound and then frothing milk was a welcomed sound. Marylinn then poured the thick chocolaty mix into a Shake glass and popped a straw into it before setting it in front of Wendy. Wendy licked her lips looking at the shake and then smiled at Marylinn before reaching out to grasp it and then take the first taste. Her eyes closed in delight as she savored the flavor.

Wendell was nearing completion of mowing the back yard when he had to navigate his mower around the back side of the old oak tree in the very back of the yard. The same tree that he and Gwen used to climb as kids, or laid under in the shade on hot summer days. The old tree was had a familiar feel to it, it was part of home to him. Glancing up at the trunk when the tree was between him and the house, Wendell saw something he had nearly forgotten completely about.

It was his initials… and Gwen’s… carved into the bark so very long ago. He had done it his senior year, the very week before he was going to ask Gwen to the prom. He had planned on showing it to her before they actually attended the dance that night. But that never happened. Yet here was that reminder, of his love and affection to her so very long ago… WA + GJ forever inside a heart. Wendell felt his throat grow tight and his vision blurred for a moment as a single tear broke free and tracked down his cheek. He lifted his right hand and touched the old scarred bark on the tree. “Forever, my love” he said softly. Then with a sigh he pushed the mower onward to finish the job.

Wendy was scrolling through search apps on her phone as she finished off the last few French fries on her plate when Marylinn came back to her at the counter. It had been a fairly busy lunch rush today so Marylinn and the young waitress Kate had been kept hopping. She hadn’t had time to just talk with Wendy. Now, however, with things slowed down, she had a few moments. She poured herself a soda and came to stand on the other side of the counter from Wendy as she scrolled through her phone.

“What ya lookin for girl?” Marylinn asked before taking another sip from her straw.

Wendy looked up and smiled a little sheepishly and wiped her mouth with her napkin before closing the app on her phone.

“I’m looking for a place to rent here in town… hopefully somewhere close to the high school.” Wendy replied.

“Any luck with that?” Marylinn asked almost as if she already knew the answer.

“No. I can’t find anything with my phone. Maybe I need to talk to a realtor or maybe you might know someone who’s got a place for rent.” Wendy said looking rather hopefully to Marylinn.

“Not anyone or any place you’d want to deal with, I’m sorry.” She said shaking her head but looking pensive.

“Maybe I can rent a U-Haul and live in the back of it for a while…” Wendy said half-jokingly before propping her chin on the back of her hand, her elbow resting on the countertop.

“Oh Lord! You wouldn’t!” Marylinn laughed… then a slow smile etched her face and she leaned in a little bit and said softly. “What about Wendell? That big house, all by himself. I’m sure he’d consider renting you a room… he might even let you stay there for free until you found a place of your own…”

Wendy gave Marylinn a halfhearted smirk in return but then her eyes kind of glazed over as she thought about the possibilities.

“I… I wouldn’t want to impose. He’s been so kind already…” Wendy stammered a little sheepishly giving Marylinn furtive glances as if embarrassed by her own thoughts.

“It certainly wouldn’t hurt to ask. Besides. I think the company would do him good. I’ve seen him smile more in the time you’ve been here than I have in a long time. I know part of it is that you look so much like your mom… Gwen… but I don’t think that’s the only reason. Why don’t you float the idea to him and see what he thinks. It could only be temporary until you find a place, right?” Marylinn suggested.

Wendy didn’t respond other than to raise both eyebrows and shrug. She settled up her bill and left the diner to drive back to Wendell’s house. She was lost in thought most of the trip, weighing what Marylinn had suggested, and thinking about that last entry in the diary.

Upon returning to Wendell’s house, Wendy parked the jeep in the driveway in front of the garage where Wendell had parked earlier. She sat there for a moment before steeling herself to go inside. The air was filled with the smell of fresh mowed grass and the sounds of birds chirping and a light breeze in the leaves of the trees around the yard. Wendy paused at the top of the stairs to the second level of the deck and turned to look out on the yard. She wasn’t really seeing the yard however, but a mental vision of her mother and Wendell laying in the grass looking to the heavens. She realized deep down that theirs was a bond that could never be severed, not a second time anyway. They had been fated for one another from the beginning… death only physically separated them.

While in contemplation, Wendy heard noises coming through the screen door leading into the kitchen. Curious, she went inside to investigate. Wendell turned from the island at the sound of the screen door opening and then closing. He was busy seasoning two nice looking steaks on a platter.

“Hi. Welcome back.” Wendell said in way of greeting.

“I hope you have an appetite tonight.” He added motioning towards the steaks.

“Oh, I think I can make room.” Wendy stated, as she walked over to the island. “Anything I can do to help?” She asked.

“Not yet, I’m just getting an early start on seasoning the steaks. It’ll be a while before I even start cooking them. When it gets closer to time however, you could make a salad if you like. I’ve got a couple of potatoes in the oven baking right now.” Wendell said placing parchment paper covers over the steaks and wiping his hands on a kitchen towel.

“How did your interview go?” He asked as he crossed to the fridge and took out two bottles of beer.

“I… got the job.” Wendy said perhaps a little self-consciously as if she was still in wonder of that fact herself.

“Great! Congratulations.” Wendell said as he handed her one bottle before opening his own.

Wendy accepted the bottle and raised it in a mock salute. Wendell picked up immediately that there was something a little off with the younger woman as she averted her gaze.

“I mean, congratulations are in order, aren’t they?” He asked a little uncertainly.

“Oh, yeah. I just have to… adjust to some big changes, pretty quickly.” Wendy said turning the bottle in her hands but not really focusing on it.

“What kind of changes? I mean, sure, relocating and all that, have you given two weeks’ notice to your former employer?” Wendell’s questions trailed off as he sensed that he had maybe hit a nerve.

“Well… two weeks’ notice won’t be a problem. In fact, I had been told that my department was downsizing due to cutbacks in the budget, I decided to use up what little vacation time I had to one, look for another job… and two… try to find my mother. It was a weird coincidence that my best prospect for a job was in the same town as her last known address…” Wendy said sadly and she herself trailed off.

Wendell looked at her across the island and knew that there was more to her apprehensiveness but didn’t want to push her too hard. Instead, he walked around the island and took one of her hands and led her back outside onto the deck and over to the same two chairs they had occupied the night before. He motioned for her to sit and did so himself as well. They both sat there for a few minutes sipping at their beers and thinking.

“I stopped in at the diner today to have lunch, after getting out of my interview.” Wendy stated.

Wendell nodded but didn’t comment, sensing that she was building up to something she was reluctant to share. When he didn’t say anything for a minute or two, Wendy went on.

“It was busy, at lunch… but Marylinn stopped and talked with me for a while, more so after it slowed down a bit. While I ate my lunch, I used my phone apps to search for housing, some place to rent, hopefully close to the school I’ll be working at so I won’t have too far to walk.” Wendy said in a tired voice.

“And you didn’t find anything worth considering.” Wendell supplied quietly.

Wendy looked up at him curiously before shaking her head and the continuing.

“No. I asked Marylinn if she knew of any places or anyone who might rent a room… she said she did, but…” Wendy trailed off again as if reluctant to elaborate further.

Wendell raised one eyebrow at Wendy’s hesitance to continue. He wondered what that was all about, but gave her all the time she needed to decide on what she was going to say or not say. He had a sneaking suspicion that he knew what it might be, after she had been talking with Marylinn. Marylinn was a sweetheart, to be sure, but she was a bit of a mother hen as well. He had felt as if she were doting over him ever since Gwen fell ill to the cancer, and then even still after she had passed away. Under other circumstances he would have welcomed it, as Marylinn genuinely cared about people, especially ones she considered friends. Still, he waited for Wendy to make her decision to elaborate or not.

Wendy set her beer down on the island and her hands fidgeted, almost wringing themselves as she cast about with her eyes as if looking for a cue or a clue as to what to say or do. After a few moments, Wendell’s patience won out and she sighed signaling a decision on her part.

“Marylinn suggested…” She took another steadying deep breath and then looked Wendell in the face, her own still filled with uncertainty and trepidation before she continued. “She suggested that I should ask you if you would rent me a room. She gave me reasons, like it was such a big house and you were here all alone and that you needed… Well… I don’t need to repeat all of that, but she said that you might consider a short-term rental until I could find a place of my own…” Wendy said in a bit of a rush before seeming to run out of steam, her self-doubt catching up to her mouth.

Wendy lowered her head, as if fearing what Wendell might think or say in reply, but her gaze never left his face. Wendell almost barked out a laugh at the sight of her unconsciously biting her lower lip… so very much like her mother at times… another pang resonated in his heart, but it wasn’t a bad pain, rather an endearing reminder. Wendell didn’t even need time to process her request, by way of Marylinn’s suggestion. There was never a question of yes or no. In fact, he had thought to broach the question himself later over dinner, but it would not to be offering to rent her a room, but rather to stay here free of charge. In his mind, she was, after all, family.

Wendell slowly began to smile. A warm soft almost sheepish smile, but a smile all the same. Wendy wasn’t quite sure how to read that smile, but the softness in Wendell’s eyes gave her a moment’s pause and hope. She almost screamed as Wendell lifted his bottle to his lips and took another long sip of his beer before setting it down and placing both hands on the surface of the island and cocking his head ever so slightly to one side, affecting a slight sidelong glance.

“No. I would not rent you a room…” He spoke softly, almost laughing when Wendy’s face fell and she forced a timid smile all the same… then he continued.

“I will, however, repeat my offer from a few days ago. You are welcomed to stay here, free of charge, for as long as you need. You ARE family. In fact, I will rent a U-Haul and drive you to your old place in Chicago to help you pack up and move what you need or want to bring with you. If there’s not room to store it in the basement or the garage, we can rent a small storage unit if need be.” Wendell said then shrugged.

Wendy’s heart stopped beating for a moment, or skipped several successive beats perhaps, but then the full weight of what he had just said settled into her mind and her jaw dropped and her eyes went wide with surprise… that is, before they teared up and started flowing freely down her cheeks. That smile though, Wendell almost melted at the sight of that smile. So like her mother. God help him.

“I… I don’t know what… what to say.” Wendy managed to get out of her trembling lips, her entire body vibrating.

Wendy practically danced around the island and wrapped Wendell with her arms to hug him tightly. Such a fierce mighty hug from someone so small and mousy as she, Wendell was both impressed and touched. He would have returned the hug, but she had his arms pinned to his sides. All he could do was chuckle softly.

“Okay…” Wendy said a little sheepishly when she released the hug and backed up a step to look up into Wendell’s eyes. “But not free of charge. I insist on carrying my own weight and contributing. I can cook and clean and I will help buy groceries at very least.” She stated as if there were no room for argument.

“I can… accept that if I must.” Wendell said with a grin and winked at her.

“Good.” Wendy stated as she backed up and pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and sat down, a look passing over her face as she began going over a thousand and one things to consider and plan for her relocation.

Wendell sensing that she had moved into a different head space and he would be a distraction, told Wendy he was going to go take a shower and change, then do a little work in his office before starting dinner. She knew where to find him if she needed him for anything.

Inwardly Wendy was lost in thought, but it had very little to do with relocating or starting her new job. Not that any of that didn’t play into her thoughts, but they were more accents at this point, not the main focus. Once again, Wendy’s mind flashed back to the final entry that her mother had written in her diary. She decided that she had to read it again, so she got up from her seat at the kitchen table and went down the hall to the guest room. She heard the water running in the shower as she passed the bathroom.

The water was hot, nearly scalding but Wendell wasn’t really feeling it. His mind was a whirl of conflicting thoughts and emotions. He hung his head under the steaming water cascading from the shower head, and had both his hands pressed against the tile wall before him. Had the water not been running, anyone might have seen the tears streaming from his eyes. His slow rhythmic deep breathing belied how hard he was trying to pull himself together.

He had thought he had turned a corner these many months since Gwen’s passing. He thought he had cried himself out, to be honest… but when Wendy came into his life, all that went out the window. She looked so much like Gwen he couldn’t possibly not think of her every time he looked at Wendy. On top of that, she sounded like her, moved like her, acted like her… even thought like her he suspected. It was as if she was Gwen, made over. He knew intellectually that Wendy was NOT Gwen, that she was her own person with her own experiences and life… but his heart ached all the same. It wasn’t fair… it wasn’t fair to him… it wasn’t fair to Wendy either. Despite all that, he had found that he genuinely liked the young woman. He was attracted to her as any man would be. It was the guilt that made him second guess his thoughts and feelings. If only he knew what to do or how to think or how to act.

In the guest room, with the door closed, Wendy sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the diary once more into her lap. She ran her hand reverently over the cover picturing the author, her birth mother, holding this same tome in a similar way so many times in the past. She opened the book and rifled her way through the pages to the last few in the back. Wendy once more read the last words that her mother had recorded, for her… as well as the very last ones she had written to her beloved husband Wendell. Before she was even halfway through the passage, her vision blurred again with tears welling in her eyes.

…

My darling little girl. A woman now, of course. This last and final entry was left only for you. What you have just read has only been seen by my eyes until now as you have read this. I told Wendell that he could read it, the diary, in its entirety except for the final entry. That this final entry was for your eyes only, but that after you have read it, you could share it with him if you wanted. You know the reason for this though. My unusual request that you consider my darling Wendell for you own… It would have been awkward for him to know that beforehand. And, to be honest, if he didn’t want to, he might never have given this diary to you to begin with. So now the decision is yours. I hope you know how very much I love you, both. That I only wish the best for both of you, your happiness and to feel loved and cherished as much I do both of you.

Wendell… if you are reading this then my daughter has decided that she should share my last wish with you, to consider. Neither one of you are mine to give away. But I do love you both so very much. So much that it breaks my heart to think that either of you would hurt after I’m gone. You, my love, have shown me what true love really means. What it is to be cherished and adored. My best friend since the day we met and even when I didn’t know it, the love of my life. It took being separated and missing you to realize just how much you meant to me. If by some chance, you and my daughter could come to love one another even half as much as the love I felt from and for you… Well… just the very thought of it makes my heart swell. If this happens, Wen… know that you have my blessings. Go into it with an open heart. That same heart that you shared with me. I love you… I love both or you. Farewell.

…

Wendy, slowly, reverently folded back flap back over the final diary entry once more and carefully closed the book. With shaking hands, she brought the binder to her chest and hugged it dearly as if in some way she were hugging the woman who had written those words. She now understood that yes, she had to share these words with Wendell. Though addressed to her first, these words, from Gwen were as much his as they were hers.

Setting the book beside her on the bed, she reached to the side table to grab a couple of tissues to wipe at her teary eyes, then blow her nose. She glanced once more to her side and rested her right hand carefully on the cover as if to draw strength from it. With a sad smile she nodded and spoke softly to her late mother.

“Gwen, I can’t call you mom, but you were my mother. You brought me into the world, and gave me away so that I might have a better chance at happiness in this life. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you, but the words you shared with me give me a good idea. They also tell me how very much you loved me. And how very much you loved Wendell. I feel as if I know him far better than I should because of your writings. Even without knowing that, however, I found him to be a gentleman and a good person. I can see how you loved him so very much. I don’t know if he will be able to love me nearly as much as he obviously loved you. But even if he can’t I will cherish his friendship all the same. I will share your final words with him and let him decide what he will do. That’s only fair.” She spoke from her heart.

Wendell had snapped out of his soul bending lament in the shower and actually cleaned up. He was still somewhat subdued and somber as he shaved then went to his room to change into clean clothes. He did actually go to his office and sat at his desk intending on getting some work done, but his mind still wandered to other things. He thought about what he had said to Wendy a little while earlier about renting a truck and helping her move her belongings, as well as living here as long as she needed. It had been nice the past few days, with her being here. This old house almost felt like a home again with her presence. It would be nice having her here as long as she wished to stay, he thought.

Wendell heard the bathroom door close and a few moments later the shower turn on. He stood up from his desk and left the office on his way to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, Wendell pulled out another bottle of beer and twisted the top off of it before taking a sip. The door was still open so he started pulling out items for a salad and setting them on the island. He then pulled down a big salad bowl and set a cutting board and a knife on the island as well.

Moving outside onto the deck, Wendell opened up the grill and grabbed a cleaning brush to scour the cooking grates before opening the gas valve on the propane tank and igniting the burners. Satisfied that all was in working order, her turned the burners down to simply heat up the grill and closed the cover. He carried his beer over to the rail around the upper level of the deck and leaned against it with his elbows on the rail and gazed out over the yard.

As he looked back in his mind to a happier time, music began coming from the speaker beside him. At first, he thought it was part of his memory but he soon realized that someone had turned on the audio system inside the house. Wendell smiled and lowered his head with his eyes closed for a moment… so very like her mother he thought.

A few moments the sound of the screen door from the kitchen made Wendell straighten up and turn towards the door. Wendy came out carrying a bottle of beer in each hand. Seeing that Wendell already had one in his hand, she smiled sheepishly and shrugged then set one bottle on the glass top table and crossed the deck to stand next to him at the rail.

“I hope you don’t mind my turning the stereo on.” She said before tilting her bottle up to take a sip.

Wendell smiled and shrugged and tapped the neck of his bottle to hers before taking a sip of his own beer. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Wendy was swaying slightly to the music as she looked out over the yard and turned around taking in the deck and the back of the house. One arm crossed under her chest as if half hugging herself, the other holding the bottle loosely almost as if it were a microphone.

“This really is a lovely place. I don’t think I really appreciated it when I first showed up on your doorstep a few days ago. God, it seems like it’s been weeks.” Wendy said and then sighed before taking another sip.

“Thanks.” Wendell muttered distractedly.

Wendell kept silent rather than comment about Wendy’s music ***********ion. He wondered if by chance she had merely chosen the saved playlist on the audio system or if she had picked out the music on her own. Either way it was ironic in that this was one of Gwen’s favorite songs… the telling would be when the next song began to play after this one ended. He swallowed then took another sip of his beer to cover his tight throat.

So many things in common, so many coincidences and similarities he thought. It was almost as if something or someone was trying to give him a sign somehow. He shook his head as if to clear those thoughts, before standing up straight and saying that he should check on the potatoes in the oven. If they were ready then it was time to start cooking the steaks. Wendy followed him into the kitchen after a few more moments. She was going to make the salad with the ingredients Wendell had already set out on the kitchen island.

The kitchen smelled like baked potatoes, and they were done when Wendell opened the oven to check on them. He turned the oven off and told Wendy he was going to go put the steaks on the grill. She told him it would only take a minute to make the salad so she would set plates at the table. They both opted to finish their beers with dinner. Wendell almost asked if she would like to eat out on the deck but held his tongue, it would remind him all too much of him and Gwen’s first meal here at the house after they had reconnected.

It didn’t take long for the steaks to cook, so Wendell was back inside with a platter of grilled beef in almost no time. Wendy had set the table, and put one potato each on their plates. A tub of butter and some sour cream sat open on the table along with the bowl of salad and a couple of bottles of dressing to choose from.

“Mmmmm… that smells so good.” Wendy said as she came around the island with a small basket of sliced French bread.

They both took their seats and smiled at one another. Wendy bowed her head and said grace silently, Wendell watched and smiled warmly as he too said a silent prayer of thanks. Both cut into their baked potatoes and fluffed and dressed them to their liking before choosing a steak from the platter that Wendell had brought in from the grill. Wendell let Wendy choose hers first, always the gentleman. She smiled bashfully in thanks and chose the slightly smaller of the two, not that either would be considered small or of lesser appeal than the other.

Eating began and very little was spoken other than praising the wonderful tastes and the occasional accompaniment of a song that was playing over the sound system. Even Wendell was observed to be moving and grooving in his chair a time or two as they ate. Wendy thought that was adorable. Especially since he didn’t even seem to realize that he was doing it.

The meal was delicious, but soon they had both had their fill and it was all over but the cleaning up. Wendell and Wendy both were leaning back in their chairs once more, savoring the last few sips of beer in their respective bottles. Wendell cocked his head a little to one side and tipped his bottle in Wendy’s direction and asked.

“You seem awfully pensive. Still worrying about relocating or starting your new job?”

Wendy smiled briefly and averted her eyes for a moment before shrugging her shoulders slightly and looking back to Wendell’s face. She reached out and set her mostly empty bottle on the table but held on to it, turning it idly in her fingers as she debated again just how she was going to begin telling Wendell about the final entry in Gwen’s diary.

“I finished it last night.” She said, not elaborating on what she knew Wendell would understand even without it.

Wendell sensed this was something that she was still struggling with so he remained silent, patiently waiting, giving her time to be comfortable enough to go on. After a few moments Wendy looked away again before continuing.

“I broke the seal… and read what she wrote.” She added, her voice tightening, changing pitch to slightly lower.

“I didn’t know what to make of it at first, last night. I fell asleep after reading it, and then this morning, well… I had my interview and other things on my mind… but I just couldn’t completely put it out of my mind. I’ve been thinking about it all day. When I got home earlier, I had to sit down and read it all over again… Honestly, I’m no surer now than I was last night on just how to understand it all. I mean, I understand what she wrote but…” Wendy sighed in exasperation, her hand that had been toying with the beer bottle dropped into her lap to join her other hand to fidget and wring unconsciously as her mind was a whirl.

“Does it trouble you?” Wendell asked with concern in his soft deep voice, he too was feeling a little tight and emotional but was determined not to show it.

“It does… and it doesn’t… I know that’s awfully vague, but… in the passage, my mother, Gwen, told me that If I wanted to, I could share it with you… to read… for yourself. She explained why she had asked that you not read it until I had first. If you read it, you will understand as well…” Wendy said cryptically, still wringing her hands absentmindedly in her lap, her bottom lip was barely trembling.

Again, Wendell remained quiet. He understood now the turmoil that Wendy was struggling with. She had a decision to make, whether to let him read the final entry, or not. It was not his decision to make and he would not influence her in making up her own mind. It might have only been a few moments, but it seemed to take an eternity. Wendy did finally come to a decision, and her demeanor changed. It was as if she shook of the uncertainty, at least for the most part. She nodded her head, perhaps only to herself, and reclaimed her gaze to Wendell’s eyes before speaking again.

“I want you to read it.”

The words were simple and direct. Part of Wendell rejoiced, part of him cringed with a sense of dread. What he would read would indeed be Gwen’s last words written to both Wendy and… himself. He felt his throat tighten and he couldn’t swallow. He looked into those same eyes across the table from him… like mother, like daughter. I might as well have been looking into Gwen’s eyes. He nodded in acknowledgement.

Wendy stood up abruptly and declared that she would return in a moment with the diary. She instructed Wendell to take it to his office and read in privacy. She would see to cleaning up the kitchen in the meantime. If or when he was ready, she would be out on the deck. She said to take as much time as he needed.

She was indeed back in a few moments carrying the binder that was her mother’s diary. She held it in both arms hugged to her chest as if it were precious. Wendell stood up from his chair and set his now empty bottle on the table. When Wendy came to a stop in front of him, she looked up into his eyes and he saw something there that was both familiar and… new… hesitant and uncertain. She held the book out to him to take as if it were an offering of some sort.

Wendell nodded again, accepting the tome and holding it with one hand underneath, and running the other over the cover as if to caress it, or at least the memories held within. Without another word, Wendell walked from the kitchen, down the hall and turned into his office. Wendy heard the door close softly behind him. Her heart did a flip in her chest and she took a deep shuddering breath as if she had been holding it and didn’t know it.

Wendy cleaned up the kitchen, putting away the left-over salad, and the other food and condiments. She rinsed the plates and silverware in the sink before loading the dishwasher. Lastly, she wiped down the counter, the island, and the table. That done, she went to the fridge and got one more bottle of beer… then changed her mind and put it back and closed the door. Instead, she got a glass and put a few ice cubes in it and ran some tap water. She carried her glass outside and settled into the same deck chair that she had sat in last night. She listened to the breeze in the leaves of the trees around the yard, the birds singing, and other ambient noises from around the neighborhood… not really hearing any of it to be honest.

Wendell read the final words in Gwen’s diary, his elbow propped on his desktop and his face resting in his open palm. His other hand, shakily turned the pages. He had to back up and read some words over and over again as his eyes were blurred with tears. His heart threatened to explode, swelling and pounding in his chest. Especially with the final words. “…I love you… I love both or you. Farewell.”

Wendell all but collapsed onto his arms atop the open diary. His sobs wracked his body to his very soul. It was as if, in some way, a final goodbye. The words echoed in his mind, over and over and over… but they slowly changed. They became “…I love you… I love both of you….” And with that a calmness came over him. The sadness was still there, but there was something else as well. A glimmer of hope, perhaps.

With a deep soul shuddering sigh, Wendell sat back upright in his chair. He looked down at the last page of the diary once more then slowly, tenderly closed the book. Her lovingly ran the fingers of his right hand across the cover and took another deep breath before he stood up. Wendell left the book on his desk and left his office. It was a slow walk down the hall to the kitchen, stopping frequently to glance longingly at the many photos of his dear Gwen along the walls.

Finding the kitchen empty, Wendell remembered Wendy saying she would wait for him on the deck. He paused at the screen door, leaning against the frame and peered out to see Wendy sitting in the same chair she had occupied last night. She held a glass of something in her hands in front of her almost as if she were praying. He thought she looked nervous. It may have simply been a projection on his part as he saw cues that her mother would have given, instead of knowing what Wendy was thinking or feeling.

Wendy looked up when she heard the screen door squeak softly as it was pushed open. Wendell stepped out onto the deck and walked slowly to the rail and rested both hands on the rail, looking out over the darkened backyard. He looked to the heavens as if asking for guidance perhaps, before turning to lean back against the rail and study Wendy as she sat there watching him. Her brows were knitted in worry and understanding as well. She had read the same words.

“It’s a lot to take in…” she said softly

“Yeah…” Wendell said more of a nervous exhale than a confirmation.

“What… what she said… what she suggested…” Wendy began and had to avert her eyes and brought one back of one hand to cover her mouth for a moment.

“I wouldn’t hold you to anything.” Wendell said quickly thinking that Wendy was bout to express reluctance to the very notion.

“Nor would I, you.” She said softly, meekly returning her gaze to his face.

“I… I love… loved… her more than anything in the world.” Wendell stated in a tight but calm voice.

“I got that, from what she wrote about you and… you know she loved you just as much or more if that is even possible.” Wendy returned with a shy, sad smile, her eyes glistening in the faint ambient light of the quarter moon that was rising above the horizon.

“It wouldn’t be fair to you…” Wendell stated, this time he averted his eyes.

“How is that?” Wendy asked, a little puzzled but still appreciative of his thoughts.

“You have your whole life ahead of you. You need to be your own woman, not a stand in…” Wendell said in a very quiet and soft voice.

Wendy tilted her head ever so slightly as if it would help her understand his statement, her brows knitted and she blinked a few times. Looking back into Wendell’s face, his eyes still averted, she saw that he was doing it again. It wasn’t a rejection but rather a consideration of her. She felt that wonder again, like the many times she read about it in the diary. None of the men, boys really, that she had ever known or dated could hold a candle to this man. He truly was one in a million.

“That…that is very thoughtful of you. Thank you. But for what it’s worth. I can make up my own mind, and often do. I’m not saying I want to jump right into something with you or anyone else for that matter. I would like to get to know you better, first hand though. You’ve been nothing but a gentleman to me since the day we met. I know it’s been hard for you, because of how much I look like… her. It breaks my heart to think that I’ve caused you any pain simply by that twist of genetics or fate. I would never want to hurt you… Wendell. Could we just be… friends?” Wendy asked at the end.

Wendell turned his face back towards her and his eyes, though still very sad, had softened. He smiled that sad sweet soft smile and nodded before speaking again.

“I would like to be… be friends. I would like to get to know you better as well. I apologize for my not having done so more than I have already. I was, yes, overwhelmed by how much you look like her. That was selfish on my part. I’m sorry.” He said somberly.

“You have nothing to apologize for, but thank you for caring. Can we agree then to be friends at least and just see where it goes from there? I don’t want you to feel awkward around me… anymore than you already do. Perhaps as you get to know me better, I will not remind you so much of Gwen… it won’t hurt as much.” Wendy suggested

“I can agree.” Wendell stated softly, still with that sad smile though.

“Good…” Wendy said as she set her glass of ice water down on the deck beside her chair and pulled herself up to stand before joining Wendell at the rail.

She faced outward over the yard, Wendell still leaned back against the rail and faced the back of the house. The light breeze that was blowing earlier seemed to have picked up a bit and it was enough to give Wendy a chill. She crossed her arms over her chest as if to hug herself to keep warm. Wendell noted this out of the corner of his eye and lowered his head.

“I have to go to the base tomorrow morning, not early, but I have some forms I need to get for a project I’m contracted on. Other than that, I have a few days free, and I can change my schedule around as needed when you know when you want to go move your stuff. Just let me know.” Wendell said with a steady voice that seemed calmer now. “I think I’m going to call it a night and go to bed. If you need anything…” Wendell left last open.

“Thank you. I think I’m going to sit out here a while longer and… think. I’ll lock the door when I come in. Good night.” Wendy said softy from his side.

Wendell nodded even though she didn’t see it, and pressed himself off of the rail to begin walking towards the door.

“Wendell? Please?” Wendy said meekly, turning towards him at the rail.

Wendell stopped and turned to her. Wendy stepped closer, hesitantly, her face pinched with worry and something else… not exactly desire, but need. Her bottom lip was quivering and her breath was almost coming in short gasps. She looked into his eyes for what seemed like a long minute though it was only a few heartbeats. Then whatever restraints she had held herself with released her.

Wendy stepped the remaining distance to Wendell and wrapped her arms around him and hugged him fiercely. Her face was pressed into his shoulder and he could feel the warmth of her tears soaking into and through his shirt. Wendell wrapped his own arms around her much smaller frame and felt her shuddering almost vibrating. He could smell her shampoo in her hair and it was another bittersweet reminder of her mother. Wendell bit his lip and looked to the heavens and took another long cleansing breath.

They remained wrapped up in that hug for some time. Neither saying anything, neither making any move to separate or escalate anything. Just taking comfort from and giving comfort to one another. They shared the moment. At last, Wendy released her hold on Wendell and stepped back as his arms released her. She looked up into his eyes and smiled a slightly embarrassed but grateful smile.

“Thank you… for that. I’ll leave you alone now…. Good night.” She said, once more holding herself in her crossed arms and rubbing her upper arms.

“You’re welcome… Good night.” Wendell responded with that soft shy smile and then turned and continued to the door and into the house.

Wendy turned to the rail again and leaned against it looking up into the night sky. Wondering if Her mother was looking down at her… and Wendell.

…

Wendell groaned and rolled over to smash his hand down on the alarm clock going off on his night stand. The raucous noise had shaken him out of his fitful sleep. It seemed he had only just got to sleep when the noise began. He had tossed and turned most of the night, unable to sleep for so much on his mind. He rolled back flat on the bed and rubbed his eyes before staring up at the ceiling. The early morning light was just starting to play through the curtains and dance on the ceiling and walls.

As he lay there, Wendell recalled once more the final entry in Gwen’s diary. How she encouraged both he and her daughter, Wendy, to consider each other. To find comfort and happiness in each other if possible… all with her hopes and blessings no less. It was simply mind blowing, at least for him anyway. Maybe it was just too soon for him, emotionally. He needed time to process it all in his mind and in his heart. The sound of the toilet flushing in the bathroom down the hall made Wendell realize that Wendy was up and about already. So, he threw back the covers and turned to sit up on the edge of the bed.

Wendell rose and peeled off his sleep clothes and dressed in a clean pair of jeans and a shirt before leaving his room to make his way down the hall to the bathroom. Wendy had already left it, of course. As he started through the door in the bathroom, he heard the kitchen sink tap turn on and water being run. He assumed that she was making a pot of coffee. That was thoughtful of her and caused him to smile.

A short while later, after having shaved and taken care of business, Wendell padded down the hall to the kitchen. He found Wendy sitting at the kitchen table, her elbows propped on the tabletop, her hands clasped as if in prayer and her chin resting on her hands. Her eyes stared off blankly into the distance as if lost in thought, until she noticed Wendell out of the corner of her eye. She rocked her head slightly to one side to better face him and smiled weakly.

“Good morning.” Wendell spoke as he continued across the kitchen.

“Good morning.” Wendy responded softly. “I started a pot of coffee.” She added.

“I see that. Want something solid to go with the liquid life?” Wendell asked as he opened the cupboard and took out two coffee mugs and set them beside the coffee machine.

“I probably should, but no. I don’t think I could manage much more than a cup of coffee right now.” She answered politely.

“Upset stomach?” He asked turning to look more closely at Wendy, she was not looking at him so she didn’t notice.

“Not really, just no appetite. I’ll have a piece of fruit a little later, or some of those berries in the fridge.” Wendy admitted. “Just a…lot on my mind.” She added after a moment.

“Okay. You know, you are welcome to anything in the fridge or the pantry. You can cook something if you like. I meant it when I said to make yourself at home. If you’re going to be staying here, you need to feel comfortable using things and taking care of yourself…” Wendell said then realizing what it sounded like he blushed and turned back to the counter, away from Wendy before she noticed.

It was too late though, Wendy had noticed the blush and she had caught the unintended double entendre. She smiled weakly and felt herself warm with blush as well and she bit her bottom lip and looked away.

“Thank you… again.” Wendy said after a moment, to acknowledge her understanding of what he had meant.

“I won’t be too long at the base this morning. I’m just going to pick up some forms, I should be back before lunch. If you need my jeep to go anywhere after that, you are welcome to use it, or we could go get some lunch if you don’t feel like cooking anything just yet.” Wendell informed her as he poured coffee in the mugs for each of them.

“I don’t have anywhere to go today. I am going to make some calls about possibly renting a truck for moving. I am on a month-by-month lease at my apartment in Chicago, so I don’t have to worry about giving them notice. I will have to clean the place thoroughly so I can get my deposit back, so maybe renting a rug shampooer at some point.” She said as Wendell carried her mug of coffee to the table.

“Well, when you nail down the times and dates you need for the move, let me know and I’ll help you with it.” Wendell said as he took another sip of his coffee after setting Wendy’s mug in front of her.

He saw her nod her appreciation and then he walked to the screen door leading onto the deck. Wendell took the keys to the jeep from the hook by the door and tossed them in the air once and caught them before nodding again and pushing out the door to leave.

Wendy heard his footsteps across the deck and down the stairs before fading out, then the jeep starting up soon after. She sighed and unfolded her hands and reached for the steaming mug of Colombian brew and took a tentative sip. The Coffee was still very hot but it felt good on her tongue and warmed her throat as she swallowed the first sip. “…need to feel comfortable using things and taking care of yourself…” The words echoed in her mind causing her to smile bemusedly and she felt an unfamiliar tingle.

…

As it turned out, Wendell returned just a couple of hours after he had left that morning. He came into the kitchen from the deck carrying several bulky manila folders under one arm. Wendy still sat at the kitchen table, a notepad and pen in front of her with her phone pressed to her ear. She was speaking with someone so Wendell remained silent even after she acknowledged him with a smile and a little wave of her free hand.

“Yes… That should be everything I need…. Uh huh… yes, round trip. I’ll be returning it to your location when I’m finished. Yes… I could be, but actually the driver will be… a friend of mine…” Wendy spoke into the phone and she glanced at Wendell and smiled a soft genuine smile. “Uh huh… That would be great. Okay… I’ll see you then. Thank you.” She said and removed her phone from her ear and pressed the face button ending the call.

“Rental truck?” Wendell asked though it was obvious.

“Yes. It turns out that they rent cleaning equipment too, so I reserved a rug shampooer as well.” Wendy said brightly.

“Got a time frame I take it?” Wendell surmised, shifting the folders from one arm to the other.

Wendy nodded and looked down at her note pad and then back up to Wendell. She bit her bottom lip before speaking a little hesitantly.

“Two days from today… It was that or get a truck much bigger than anything I would need.” She said, and then bit her bottom lip again to await his reply.

“Two days? And let’s see, most of one day to drive up to Chicago. At least one day to pack up whatever you’re going to move and get it on the truck, then cleaning… another most of one day to drive back… so three days rental?” Wendell calculated out loud, then looked at Wendy for confirmation.

“Four days, actually. Traffic can be unpredictable, and… well… I wasn’t sure you would still be able to help me, even though you said you would. I didn’t want to take it for granted…” Wendy confessed, tilting her head down a little sheepishly and smiling in kind.

Wendell shrugged and gave her a smirk before continuing through the kitchen and down the hall to his office. He called over his shoulder as he was exiting the kitchen.

“Have you had anything to eat yet?”

Wendy tilted her head to one shoulder as if to think about the question and actually heard her stomach growl. She giggled to herself before calling out in answer.

“No… I sort of got wound up in making calls and plans and it slipped my mind.”

Wendell set the bulky folders down on his desk and looked at his wrist watch. He shook his head when he was out of sight from Wendy still at the kitchen table. He smiled a little sadly when he realized that she was again, so much like her mother Gwen who would get caught up in doing something and forget to eat.

He glanced down at the diary still sitting in the middle of his desk and his smile tightened briefly. He reached out and touched the cover lightly as if to acknowledge her presence even if only in spirit. Standing back up straight again, Wendell took a deep cleansing breath and turned to go back to the kitchen.

“If you are at a good stopping point, why don’t we go get some lunch… the diner maybe?” Wendell suggested as he re-entered the kitchen.

“Oh… Okay.” Wendy said slightly surprised, but delighted.

Wendy laid down the pen she had been writing with and scooted her chair back to stand. She picked up her phone and dropped it in her purse before pushing the chair back in. She turned and followed Wendell out the kitchen door onto the deck and then to his jeep. She was taken aback momentarily when instead of going around to the driver side door, Wendell stopped at the passenger side and opened the door for her.

“Th… Thanks.” Wendy said with a bemused smile and bit of sparkle in her eyes.

Wendell smiled and then closed the door after she was safely inside. He then went around and got into the vehicle himself before starting it and putting it into gear to back out of the driveway. It was only a few minutes until they were pulling into the parking lot at the diner. It was just a little early yet for the lunch rush so they had their choice of booths. Somehow or another, Wendell gravitated to his “usual” booth by the front window about halfway between the entrance and the corner booth.

They had no sooner sat down and opened up the menus when Marylinn appeared at their table smiling at both of them. Smiling and sizing them both up. Some might call it being nosy, but Wendell and Wendy both understood that she was simply someone who cared about both of them. So, she was interested in their well being.

“Hey you two! On a lunch date?” she teased by way of opening remarks.

This caused both Wendell and Wendy to suddenly look at Marylinn then glance at one another. Marylinn was quick to notice and one then the other eyebrow climbed up he forehead in unspoken surprise. Her smile faltered for a moment then grew in intensity. It wasn’t a facetious smile, but rather one of genuine happiness and delight. The fact that both Wendy and Wendell were blushing faintly just made Marylinn’s day. She happily took their orders and scurried off to put them in at the kitchen window. She was soon back with their drinks but left again to wait on other customers.

“Date?” Wendy said by way of a one-word question after Marylinn had moved on out of earshot.

Wendell looked up at Wendy and smiled sheepishly and shrugged in way of reply. Wendy grinned in return and they both let it drop. While they waited for their food, Wendy listed the things that she had in her apartment in Chicago that she wanted to move. Mostly clothes, and a few small furniture items, some pictures and quite a few books she admitted. Surprise, surprise. She had no pets so the clean up wouldn’t take too much effort or time. To Wendell it sounded like she lived more as if she were still in a dorm at college, but he didn’t comment on that.

Marylinn delivered their food and then scurried off to wait on others as the lunch rush was in full swing by this point. As they ate, Wendell asked about Wendy’s interests, other than reading and books that is. What kinds of music she liked, what kinds of food and drink, what kinds of movies. Her favorite pass times growing up. Had she played sports, did she follow any sports? Of course, Wendy asked the same questions in return because she was just as interested in his answers as he was in hers. They spoke of the many places they had visited. Wendell had a great many more and varied tales to tell of course having served all over the world in the Army.

They had long since finished their lunches by the time business in the diner slowed down again. Marylinn appeared at their table and slid in beside Wendy, setting down three plates with a piece of pie on each. Wendell looked at the pie and frowned as if puzzled and looked at Marylinn in askance.

“On me… it’s my break time. Enjoy. I just wanted to catch up a bit with you two.” Marylinn explained and picked up her own fork and took the first bite of her own pie, cherry.

Wendell smirked bemusedly and shook his head before picking up his own fork and looking at Wendy and shrugging. Marylinn didn’t miss the look and just grinned a little brighter before elbowing Wendy to prompt her to dig in as well.

“You two seem to be rather preoccupied today, conspiring… up to something are we?” Marylinn stated and looked back and forth between Wendy and Wendell waiting for one of them to say something.

Wendell laughed and had to wipe his mouth with his napkin. Wendy smiled too, but she was the one to speak.

“Just going over moving plans mostly, but yeah, we’ve been getting to know each other better.”

“Moving plans? Does that mean you’ve found a place to stay?” Marylinn asked with one raised eyebrow, her fork halfway to her mouth with a bite of that cherry pie.

“I did.” Wendy admitted and gave Marylinn a sheepish grin. “I asked Wendell, like you suggested. He said that I could stay at his house, but won’t let me pay him rent. I told him I wouldn’t stay without doing something to pull my weight and contribute. I’ll be cleaning the house, laundry, cooking sometimes, even grocery shopping.” Wendy stated.

Marylin scrunched her head and neck down into her shoulders and grinned maniacally and giggled looking at Wendy, then turned a bemused smile to Wendell and winked at him facetiously.

“Good! I think it will do both of you good. But… I still would like to see you both in here from time to time… separately or together.” She said happily but with seriousness about the last part.

“Of course.” Wendy said happily as she finished off her piece of pie, she looked across the table at Wendell and smiled softly, noting his warm smile that he gave Marylinn.

Marylinn smiled then sighed. Her break was over and the jingle of the bell over the front door signaled a customer coming in. she reached over with her left hand and patted the back of Wendy’s hand before winking at Wendell and sliding back out of the booth.

“My break time is over… back to work. You two take care while you’re doing this moving. Come back and see me.” She said as she left their ticket on the table and collected the empty plates and silverware before heading back around the counter and back to work.

Wendy reached for her purse to get her wallet. Wendell laid his hand on hers and shook his head slowly indicating that he had it. He left money on the table under his glass along with a nice tip for Marylinn. He noted that indeed, the pie was not on the bill, and shook his head wryly as he and Wendy headed to the door.

…

Back at the house, Wendell excused himself to his office and made a few phone calls after going over information in the folders he had brought home from the base. He lined up some deliveries from suppliers, left messages with his liaison at the base. Then penciled in some information on his desk blotter calendar. All in all, he spent about four hours working on the various projects he was contracted for before calling it a day.

When Wendell finally emerged from his office, he went to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of iced tea. Not seeing Wendy in the kitchen, he looked out on the deck, but she was not there either. Curious, Wendell went looking for her. The guest room door was open but she was not there, moving down the hall he poked his head into the living room, and that’s where he found her.

Wendy was curled up in the leather recliner, her feet tucked up under her with a light throw blanket draped over he legs. She had a book opened in her hands and she was nearly nose deep into it, reading. The vision took Wendell a little by surprise. How many times had he found Gwen in that same chair doing the exact same thing? Right down to how she was sitting and having the throw blanket over he legs. She must have sensed his gaze because she looked up from the book and smiled warmly at him.

“Hi… Just wondered where you were.” Wendell said smiling in return.

“I hope you don’t mind… there are just so many wonderful books in here… It seems that my mother had very similar tastes in reading as I do…” She said reverently as she held the book in her hands and had a wistful expression on her face for a moment.

“Yeah, she did like to read.” Wendell acknowledged warmly. He shook himself out of the moment and asked. “I hadn’t thought to lay anything out for dinner today, and to be honest, I really don’t feel like eating much anyway. Would finishing off last night’s salad be okay for dinner?”

“Oh! I’m sorry. I never even thought about dinner myself… either. Yeah… Not terribly hungry either. Salad sounds wonderful.” She said sheepishly because she hadn’t thought about eating before he asked.

“Great. Gonna be a fend for yourself kind of thing then. I’m gonna fix me a bowl and eat out on the deck. Help yourself when you’re ready. I’ll let you get back to reading.” Wendell said with a smile as he turned and went back down the hall to the kitchen.

…

Wendy did end up joining Wendell on the deck not long after he had seated himself and began eating. They picked up their questions and answers as they ate their salads. The conversation moved into more personal information as they went on. Wendy asked about his past relationships other than with her late mother, while he was serving in the Army. Had he ever fell in love with anyone or even been intimate with anyone. Wendell actually blushed but he did answer her.

While he had been intimate with several different women over the years, nothing was ever really more serious than say friends with benefits. He had never really felt that spark or had a deep interest in anyone other than Gwen. He hadn’t realized it at the time, but he was still holding a torch for her, he loved her too much to form serious bonds with anyone else. Turning the question back on her, Wendell asked Wendy about her past relationships.

She told him that she hadn’t exactly been popular in high school so there weren’t many boyfriends to speak of, certainly no intimate situations to recount. It wasn’t until she was at university that she lost her virginity to a boy that she thought she was in love with. And who she thought was in love with her. It turned out that he was more in love with himself and simply wanted whatever he could get from her. That relationship ended rather messily she admitted, and there were only a handful of other suitors while she continued her studies. Yeah, some of them became physical, but like him, she hadn’t really made any connections to speak of.

Both Wendell and Wendy fell quiet for a while after breaching the subject of past relationships. They both were lost in thoughts that if they had been speaking about them would have been shocked by how similar they were. Inevitably both of their thoughts circled back to the suggestion in Gwen’s final diary entry again. While both were hesitant to explore the idea of a possible relationship together, neither completely discounted it either. And, again, for surprisingly the same reasons they would have discovered.

Wendy admitted to herself that she found Wendell to be an attractive man, and his kind demeanor and personality only cemented those thoughts. Her reluctance, however, grew out of her thinking that she didn’t want to compete with her mother’s memory in Wendell’s heart. She didn’t want to be a surrogate for the ghost of her mother. She wondered if she could even compare to the love that the woman had held for Wendell.

Wendell, for his part, was torn, emotionally as much as intellectually. He found Wendy to be a vibrant, intelligent and kind young woman. The fact that she was, in his eyes, drop dead gorgeous… as well as the spitting image of his Gwen only made here all the more attractive to him. Yet, his love for her mother was still overwhelming. How could he possibly give this younger woman the love she so very much deserved?

Conciliations for both, in their minds and even their hearts, were that they could both be happy as friends if nothing else. They genuinely enjoyed one another’s company. Perhaps friendship was for the best they both decided. And the affable, comfortable silence went on. The sky darkened and the sounds of the night began to key up for their nightly chorus.

It was Wendell who finally broke the spell. He cleared his throat and asked a question that had sprung into his mind.

“Have you spoken with your parents? Do they know you got the job and are moving?” Wendell asked in a soft voice.

Wendy remained silent for a while. When Wendell looked across the table at her he saw that she had her head down and seemed to be very tense. Alarm bells began going off in the back of his mind. This was not a good sign he thought to himself. Especially when he saw the small tremors beginning to make Wendy shake. Silent agony radiated off her small slumped shoulders, then there was an audible sniff, she was trying very hard not to shed tears he realized.

“I’m sorry… have I said something inappropriate? Wendy? Are you okay?” He said with a sense of alarm.

She shook her head in the negative and still not looking at him waved a hand fluttering as if to negate that he had spoken out of turn or said anything wrong. She took a long deep breath and let out a shuddering sigh and sniffed yet again before wiping at her eyes with the back of her hands.

“My parents… passed away… two years ago. They were killed in an auto accident while traveling on vacation.” She said in a choked voice, clearly, she was not completely over losing them yet.

“Oh! Wendy! I’m so sorry!” Wendell professed immediately, reaching across the table to take one of her hands in his own.

“It’s… It’s just that I miss them so much some times. I almost forget sometimes that they are gone and I can’t just pick up the phone and call them. It was after they passed that I found most of the information I needed to track down my birth mother… Gwen.” Wendy half sobbed and half choked in explanation.

Wendy pulled free of Wendell’s hand and stood up from the table to walk to the rail and look out into the dark yard. Wendell was immediately on his feet and joined her. First, to stand beside her silently as if to lend her support. Then without consciously thinking about it he turned and wrapped his strong arms around her shoulders from behind.

Wendell felt Wendy tense in his arms and then she seemed to melt into him. Her head rested backwards onto his shoulder and her hands rose to hold onto his arms as her body shook with silent sobs. Wendell didn’t say anything, he just held her. He would hold her for as long as she needed him to. In this moment there was no guilt, no thoughts of betrayal or jealousy or anything else. In this moment, his heart was breaking with commiseration, he knew her pain intimately. No one should have to go through that alone. If he could offer some small measure of solace and comfort he would gladly.

After a while Wendy’s sobs slowed to a stop and all that remained was the occasional sniffle. She began to rock ever so slightly side to side, almost as if she were slow dancing in some form or another. Wendell matched her movements as they gently, slowly swayed side to side. After a bit, Wendy tapped Wendell’s arms as if in thanks. Wendell let up from his hugging and let his arms fall to his sides.

Wendy turned, their bodies still intimately close. She slowly reached up her right hand and stroked Wendell’s cheek with a soft gentle caress. Her sad eyes locked onto his in the soft low light from the lights along the stairs on the deck. She smiled weakly, sadly, but smiled nonetheless.

“Thank you.” She said quietly, then pulled away and seemed to pull herself out of her sadness, at least on the surface.

Wendy collected their salad bowls and silverware and their drinking glasses. She looked over at Wendell who was still standing beside the rail watching her. Wendy smiled again softly, but the thanks and appreciation was in her eyes.

“I think I’m going to call it a night. I’ll load the dishwasher on my way. Good night, Wendell… and… thanks.” She said softly then turned and went into the house.

Wendell took a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh. He realized that he did have feelings for Wendy. It was hard for him to define them, friendship, for sure, but perhaps… well…

…

The morning of the day of the move, or at least picking up the rental truck and driving to Chicago, dawned gray and overcast. Originally, the plan was to drive both the rental truck and Wendell’s jeep and use both to load up Wendy’s belonging. But with bad weather forecasted and Wendy’s lack of much driving experience, Wendell suggested a change of plans. He suggested that she drive the jeep back to the house after they picked up the truck, and she would just ride in the cab with him on the way to Chicago and back. If the truck was big enough to load all he belongings that is. They would soon find out.

In lieu of making a pot of coffee at the house, they both opted to go through a drive through and get some coffee and breakfast sandwiches on the way to the rental shop. They arrived at the shop just as the agents were unlocking the doors and turning on the Open sign. Since Wendy had reserved both the truck and a rug steam cleaner, they were ready and waiting. She signed the contract paperwork and Wendell signed as the driver. After the vacuum was loaded into the back of the truck along with the wheeled dolly and some cargo blankets for padding, they were on their way. Wendell drove the truck and followed Wendy in the jeep back to the house and parked the jeep. After Wendy climbed into the cab, they were on their way.

…

It was a long drive, but the two passed the time by talking. Wendell knew that getting Wendy to talk about her late adoptive parents would be cathartic for the younger woman, so he asked about them. She found it difficult at first, the pain of loss still close to the surface, and raw in its intensity, but the more she talked about them the easier it got. Sharing memories and stories from her childhood and teenage years had them both laughing at times, and somber if not sad at others. But talking about them helped Wendy.

There were several stops along the way to Chicago, to refuel, to use the restroom, and of course to eat. Mostly they just grabbed snacks and drinks whenever they stopped for fuel, but they did stop for lunch and later, for dinner, on the outskirts of Chicago. Dinner was a deep-dish pizza, and a salad.

The sun was setting when the truck pulled into the shared parking lot of Wendy’s apartment complex. Wendell found a parking space fairly close to her building and they both got out and stretched before entering the building and climbing the three flights of stairs to Wendy’s apartment. It was a small place, barely larger than a typical college dorm, or in Wendell’s recollection, an on base quarters.

Looking around the small apartment, Wendell took stock of the furniture and fixtures. Everything was clean, and neat, but it was old. Wendy didn’t have a couch, there was an oversized loveseat if you could call it that, and a wicker chair. Oh, and book shelves… lots of book shelves. Wendell smiled at the sight of them then groaned internally thinking about moving them, down three flights of stairs.

All of that could wait until tomorrow however, it was getting late and both were tired and wrung out from the long drive. It became a little awkward when both realized that sleeping arrangements were going to be… awkward. There was only one bed in the single bedroom dwelling and it was a small bed at that. It was larger than a twin size, but not quite a full-size bed. In the end, they both just decided that it was going to be that or nothing and they both thought they could behave and actually be able to sleep. They took turns taking showers, and when both were done, and dressed, they climbed into the little bed. Wendell with his back against the wall, trying to make himself small so that Wendy could slide in beside him.

While it was a little awkward, both relaxed and even found that they rather liked the warm companionship of the other in close quarters. Eventually after a few adjustments and turns to get comfortable, they both drifted off to sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night, Wendell awoke to find himself in an unfamiliar bed, but with an all too familiar warm body spooned back into him with his arm wrapped around her. For a moment he thought he might be dreaming, and he was holding his beloved Gwen once more. That illusion was shattered however when the sound of a passing siren somewhere outside this darkened room brought him back to reality. He realized that he was in Chicago and the warm body he had mistaken for his Gwen was actually Wendy. So familiar, yet… so different. With a tear in his sleepy eyes, he leaned forward and kissed the back of her head, sighed and then drifted off back to sleep.

…

The smell of coffee drew Wendell from sleep, from a wonderful dream. Opening one eye he saw Wendy sitting on the edge of the small bed, one leg dangling over the side, the other tucked under her. In her hands she held a steaming cup of coffee. When she noticed he was awake she smiled and motioned with her mug towards the little night stand and a waiting second mug.

“Good morning.” She said softly. “I woke up needing to use the bathroom and figured we could both do with some coffee, so I made some.” She added before taking another sip of her brew.

“You are an angel, aren’t you?” Wendell said with a soft smile, then grimaced as he stretched his arms over his head and arched his back and neck causing the joints and bones to snap, crackle and pop.

Wendell propped himself up on one elbow and reached for the second mug of coffee and took a tentative sip. He grimaced at the first taste, but closed his eyes and sighed as the dark brew began to awaken his nervous system. Opening his eyes he saw Wendy watching him with amusement and a soft genuine if apologetic smile.

“Yeah, it’s instant coffee, cheap instant coffee at that. It’s all I had in the cupboard. We can get some better coffee later if you like. I went ahead and started packing a few things while the kettle was getting hot to make the coffee. If you want, we can go down the street to a bodega and get some breakfast before we start packing and moving stuff though.” She said as much to herself as to Wendell.

“I think I’m good, for now anyway. Um… I might need to get you to move a bit though, I hear your bathroom calling my name.” he said with a bashful grin and went to place the mug back on the night stand.

Wendy giggled a bit and rose up to make room for him to climb out of bed. She sipped her coffee and walked over to her bedroom closet and opened the door. Taking stock of the clothes hanging from the rod, and a few boxes and several pairs of shoes in the floor, she began organizing things in her mind as to what to pack up first. The sound of the toilet flushing, then the tap turning on and running water signaled that Wendell had completed his urgent mission. She smiled and turned to pick up his mug of coffee and left the bedroom to meet him halfway.

“Thanks, again.” Wendell said as he accepted the mug from Wendy in the hallway before she turned to go back into her tiny little living room.

They had brought up the dolly, and a bundle of boxes last night when they had arrived. It would save them one of many trips down to the truck and back this morning. Wendell sat on the floor and opened the bundle and began folding and taping the moving boxes so that they could be filled. Wendy grabbed the first completed and ready box and took it and began filling it with books from the nearest bookshelf. All but a couple of books fit in the box before she had to fold the flaps closed and tape it shut.

More boxes, more books, before long there were several boxes full of books and several bookshelves standing empty. Wendell looked closer at the bookshelves and noted that though serviceable, they were not exactly well made or sturdy. He suggested that unless she were sentimentally attached to them, that they leave them with the apartment. Wendy asked where she would put her books without them, and Wendell said that he had plenty of room on his bookshelves and if need be, he could build her some more.

It was a simple offer, but it was one that really hit home with Wendy. She watched Wendell as he loaded another box, unaware of her gaze for the moment. She could feel… something… growing within her. It was something new to her, something that she had not experienced before in her life, and it excited her as much as frightened her at the same time. It left a warm feeling in her heart though. She shook herself out of contemplation and rejoined Wendell in packing her precious books into boxes.

In the end there were ten large boxes full of books and nick knacks and a few framed photos from her now bare bookshelves. They both took the dolly and three of the boxes down to the building entrance, Wendell pushing and pulling the dolly. At the entrance, Wendell went to get the truck and relocated it closer to the entrance so they wouldn’t have to travel so far. They loaded the full boxes onto the truck and grabbed another bundle of boxes to take back up to the apartment. They closed the truck up of course, as anyone walking by could have helped themselves to the contents while the two of them were in transit to or from the apartment.

More boxes were erected, more things packed. The loaded boxes were stacked near the door awaiting their trip to the truck. Room by room, they went through and packed up Wendy’s belongings, or at least the ones she wished to keep. Most of the furniture was here when she had moved in, as it was a partially furnished rental. All of the appliances, except for an old second-hand toaster oven, belonged to the apartment complex as well. Not much in the kitchen to pack up, took all of two boxes.

In the bedroom, it would have taken a few more boxes but Wendell made a suggestion that would make that a lot easier. Though the bed was staying, the linens were Wendy’s and he suggested that instead of taking things off the hangers and folding them into boxes, just take them all off the rod, still on the hangers and lay them atop a blanket or sheets from the bed. Once all the hanger clothes were piled atop, fold over the blanket or sheets and just move them as one big bundle. And, honestly, there were not that many clothes on hangers anyway, nor were there many in her dresser.

They stopped midday, after many trips to the truck, hauling many, many boxes down the three flights of stairs. They decided to go have some lunch. Rather than move the truck again, they simply walked down the street to a neighborhood bodega and got some sandwiches and a couple of sodas. They ate their lunch sitting on a bench in a small park across the street from the bodega. Like the day before, this day was gray and gloomy with the threat of rain as well, but at least it hadn’t rained yet.

Back at the apartment, they resumed moving boxes and things down to the waiting rental truck. Trip after trip after trip, they slowly emptied the apartment. At last, there was nothing left to take to the truck, everything else was staying or getting thrown away. The rug cleaner had been brought up after the last trip down, and it was soon steaming away at the carpet in the little now mostly empty living room. Wendy cleaned the bathroom, even though it was nearly spotless to begin with, while Wendell operated the vacuum.

Satisfied that everything was clean and all that was going with her, was safely packed away in the truck and ready to go, Wendy and Wendell took the rug cleaner down to the truck. She also went to the rental office to collect someone to come do the final walk through inspection and to turn over her keys to the apartment. With the inspection satisfied and signatures secured. The office took down her forwarding mailing address so that they could mail Wendy a check for her deposit in five to ten business days. That done, Wendy and Wendell climbed into the truck and headed for home. “Home” Wendy thought, and smiled.

…

The heavens finally opened up just as they were merging onto the freeway. It was already late in the day and the overcast made it look even later and darker. Lights from the other vehicles painted the windows with their white and red colors that ran with the rainwater sheeting off of them. It was slow going between the tail end of rush hour traffic and the rain, Wendell knew not to push the rental truck too fast, especially in these wet conditions. Better slow and safe than hurried and hurt.

Wendell followed the interchanges to get to I-65 that would take them all the way from Gary Indiana straight through to Fort Knox Kentucky. It was a little over three hundred miles and on a good day that would take about four and a half hours, or so one would think. The trip up the day before had taken well over seven hours, but that was because of having to stop for fuel, restrooms, and to eat. The same would likely occur on the return trip, only this time they didn’t get started early in the day. And this time it was raining like Noah’s flood. It took over an hour and a half just to make it from Chicago to Gary.

Not long after crossing over the Wabash River, just north of Lafayette Indiana, Wendell noted that they would need to stop for fuel. Wendy said that she was getting a little hungry and Wendell confessed that so was he. She looked for somewhere to eat, while he navigated to a gas station. As they pulled off the interstate, they both found what they were looking for. First, to fill up the truck’s fuel tank, then across the road to a family steak house/buffet, to fill up their own tanks.

An hour later they hobbled out of the restaurant and dashed to the truck. Yes, it was raining… still. After they had bundled inside the stuffy cab and buckled in Wendell sat for a moment and took stock. They were goth bone tired from moving all of Wendy’s belongings from her apartment into the truck. Now with his belly full he was beginning to feel drowsy. Glancing over at Wendy, he noted the bedraggled look on her tired face as well. He grimaced and then made a decision.

“Hey. I think we should find a place to sleep for the night and pick this trip back up in the morning. What do you think?” He stated as much as asked.

Wendy opened her eyes a little more and looked at him for a moment. Her mind was churning, albeit a little sluggishly perhaps, but it concurred with Wendell’s suggestion. She stifled a yawn and that settled the matter. She nodded and spoke.

“Yeah, that’d probably be the smart thing to do. But can we find someplace this late and with no reservations?” She asked.

“Oh yeah, but finding and liking aren’t always the same thing.” Wendell smirked but started up the truck and they set off with intentions of stopping at the next hotel they happened across.

About forty miles further south they saw a sign for a Motel 6 up ahead. They took the appropriate exit and followed the markers and found the hotel. It wasn’t raining quite so heavily at that moment, thankfully. Wendy stayed in the truck as Wendell dashed into the office to see about securing a room for them. They had rooms but the only ones they had were single occupancy, meaning only one bed. Wendell paused to consider, in the end, he went ahead and rented one of them. He figured that he and Wendy had shared her small bed in the apartment last night, this couldn’t be any different.

They were soon parked outside their rented room and hurrying through the rain to the door. Once inside, it became obvious to Wendy that there was only the one bed, but she didn’t say anything about it. Secretly though, she smiled inwardly thinking that this would be another wonderful night snuggled close to Wendell. And that strange unfamiliar feeling grew stronger still.

They took turns taking quick showers in the tiny bathroom. Neither had thought to leave the boxes with clothes close to the door of the truck so that they could access them. So, all they had to sleep in were their underclothes. Wendell with his boxers and a tee-shirt, Wendy with her sports bra and panties. To be honest though, even after their showers, both were so tired that they almost fell asleep instantly after they lay down to bed.

Wendy woke up later that night to the sound of thunder rolling. It shook the windows of the hotel room. She could hear the sound of heavy rain falling outside and the occasional hiss of tires passing by on the wet road. She could also hear the steady breathing of Wendell as she was pressed closely up against him. Her back to spoon against his front as they lay on their sides. His right arm was draped loosely over her right hip, and his chin rested against the back of her head. Wendy sighed contentedly, she had never in her life felt so safe and secure, at least not as an adult. She smiled warmly and drifted back off to sleep.

That wet hissing sound of tires on wet pavement outside woke Wendy early the next morning. Wendell still slept. She realized that he must have been exhausted last night after moving her things all day long. She also realized that his body was still tightly pressed against her own as they lay in the bed. She felt something hard pressed against her backside, and lower back. Oh my god! She thought, he has an erection. Morning wood. Then she smiled bashfully and even wiggled slightly against it. It felt massive, at least in her limited experience anyway. She bit her bottom lip and wondered what it would look like, and how it would feel…

Wendy sighed and tried to banish that last thought, feeling her face warm with a blush she knew had to be bright red at this point. The hissing tires, the sigh, or perhaps her exploratory wiggle must have awakened Wendell. He took a long deep breath and smacked his lips as if to moisten his dry lips and mouth. He took a moment to take stock of the situation and then she felt him tense up. He was very aware of his unbidden erection and was suddenly very self-conscious about it.

Wendy giggled a bit and then spoke.

“Good morning.” She said brightly. “I get the… impression… that you are ready to ‘rise’ for the day.” She said with a stifled giggle.

“Um… yeah… about that… sorry…” Wendell muttered a bit sheepishly.

“Don’t worry about it. I know that it’s natural for me to wake up… up.” She said teasingly before adding. “I’d be flattered if I thought it was for me though.” She concluded a bit sheepishly herself, groaning internally that she had even said that.

Wendell wasn’t sure how to respond to that quip but he smiled to himself knowing that it was probably best to hold his tongue anyway. He lifted his arm so that Wendy could wiggle out of bed and head to the little bathroom before him. Once the door was closed, he lay a forearm across his eyes and his other hand grasped his morning wood and squeezed it. He groaned silently while frowning. God! He thought, this was torture.

By the time he heard the sound of the toilet flushing in the bathroom, Wendell had got out of bed and pulled on his jeans and was slipping on his shoes. Wendy emerged from the bathroom still brushing her teeth with a travel toothbrush she had in her purse. She pulled back the edge of the curtain and looked outside.

“It’s still wet out but it looks like the rain has stopped anyway.” She said around a mouthful of toothbrush and paste.

“Good. I’ll make driving easier anyway. You hungry?” Wendell asked as he stood up and went into the bathroom.

“Yes. Wendy said to the closed door as she pulled her own jeans on before slipping her top on over her sports bra.

“I think I saw a small diner just off the exit ramp last night. We can stop there before we get back on the interstate maybe.” Wendell said coming out of the bathroom, making way for Wendy to go back in and rinse her mouth, and brush her hair.

Wendell stopped the truck outside of the hotel’s office and turned in the key before they pulled back onto the road. There was, indeed, a small diner just off the interstate, so they stopped and went in. Coffee, eggs, toast, bacon, and more coffee. They soon had their fill and one last use of the diner’s restroom and they were on their way home.

…

A little over two hours later they were home. Wendell waited for Wendy to move the jeep out of the driveway and park at the curb on the street before backing the rental truck up to the garage door. After bathroom breaks for both of them and a big glass of iced tea each, they opened the back of the truck and began unloading it. Most boxes were moved into the garage for storage, the clothing and a few other items were moved into the house. By midday they had the truck unloaded. Wendell put the rug cleaner back into the back of the truck and Wendy refolded the cargo blankets and set them inside as well.

When Wendell pulled the read door closed on the truck, they turned to face each other. It was a moment. Both looking into the eyes of the other, their thoughts while kept to themselves were very much alike. Both were glad that the moving was done, both were glad that Wendy was now living here, and both were glad to be together. Wendy broke the spell by lunging at Wendell to hug him and thank him for all his help.

“You’re welcome.” Wendell laughed and held her briefly as she hugged him fiercely.

He set her back down on her feet and they both blushed and grinned sheepishly, but however awkward it was, they were both happy. Wendell looked at his watch and saw that it was still early afternoon. He suggested that they return the truck to the rental office and then go get some lunch… or maybe an early dinner. Wendy happily agreed. Once more, Wendell drove the truck and Wendy followed in the jeep.

After dropping off the truck, they ended up at the diner. Much to the delight of Marylinn who waved at them and smiled as they came through the door, the bell announcing their arrival. They took their usual booth since no one was seated there, and in a few minutes, Marylinn stopped at their table carrying a coffee carafe in one hand and a pitcher of iced water in the other.

“Hi kids! You too look… tired. Tired but… well… anyway… what’ll you have?” Marylinn commented and bit her tongue before saying too much.

Wendell and Wendy both looked up at her and then at each other and smiled those sheepish guilty grins before trying to look serious again. Marylinn caught the looks and grinned even bigger. She told them what the special was for the day and then waited for them to make their choices, that is after filling their water glasses and their coffee cups. She wrote their orders down on her pad and then picked the water pitcher and coffee carafe back up and headed to the counter.

Wendell had the pot roast with mashed potatoes and peas and carrots. Corn muffins on the side. Wendy opted for the chicken and dumplings but shared Wendell’s corn muffins too. They had just finished cleaning their plates when once more Marylinn slid into the booth with them. This time she was on Wendell’s side however and she studied Wendy’s face closely, smiling at what she saw.

“What are you two up to today?” she asked as she sipped her own drink.

“Just finished moving Wendy.” Wendell supplied.

“Moving? Did you find a place to rent?” Marylinn asked a little startled, and a great deal disappointed perhaps.

“Noooo.” Wendy said lightly, almost giggling at Marylinn’s expression. “Moving my stuff from my old apartment in Chicago, to Wendell’s house.” She supplied for clarification.

“Ohhhh! Okay!” Marylinn responded happily, smiling.

The conversation remained light after that. Wendy telling Marylinn about their adventure to Chicago and back, about her excitement about starting her new job next week, but it was the unspoken parts that Marylinn picked up on. Women just seem to know these things without verbal communication. When her break was over and she had to go back to work, Marylinn stood up but then leaned back in and kissed Wendell on the cheek. He was startled and turned to look at her questioningly but she merely winked at him and smiled as she sashayed across the diner to resume working.

Wendy saw the look on Wendell’s face and laughed softly, amused. Wendell shook his head as if he were sure he’d never fully understand women and how they think. He left money on the table to cover they bill and a tip then he and Wendy left the diner to go home. There was that word again… Wendy smiled to herself… “home.”

On the way home, Wendell made a pit stop at the grocery store. He told Wendy they needed to stock up on a few things and she accompanied him inside to shop. Some canned goods, eggs, milk, some bread, he got some steaks, a couple of roasts, bacon and some sausage. He had Wendy grab a box of teabags for iced tea. She chose some crackers and some cheese before they swept through the produce section grabbing potatoes, tomatoes, and various veggies for salads and what not. Yeah, a few things soon became a very full buggy to be pushed to the check out register.

Once it was all loaded into the back of the jeep, they were on their way again. Wendell pulled off once more into a liquor store this time. He said he wanted to get some more beer and maybe some wine. Wendy said that she’s stay in the jeep this time and just trust his judgement and tastes. Wendell smiled but nodded and went in alone.

Wendell grabbed a basket and chose a few bottles of different wines, then picked up a case of his favorite beer, in the long-necked bottles. He made his way to the register but stopped short because there was a commotion going on. The clerk, an older gentleman was doing his best to maintain his cool as a bedraggled drunk was cussing him out for not waiting on him. Wendell set his basket on the floor thinking that this might turn ugly fast. And it did.

The drunk grabbed a bottle of something near the register and drew back as if he were about to swing it at the clerk. Wendell took two steps and grabbed the bottle in one hand just as the drunk started forward with his swing. The bottle was pulled out of his hand unexpectedly and he spun, dizzily, to face his unknown assailant. His eyes were watery and red, but they grew large when they focused on Wendell’s face. There was a virulent shadow of hatred that crossed over his bedraggled features.

“YOU!” he spit as much as spoke with disdain.

“Randy. I don’t think you are welcomed here. Why don’t you just move along, maybe go home and sleep it off… and take a bath!” Wendell suggested to the drunken very pissed off Randal Wilson.

“Why are you always poking your nose into other people’s business? Fuck Face! Steve was right about you. Fucking nerd trouble maker! FUCK YOU!” Randal spat, literally at Wendell’s feet.

Wendell calmly sat the case of beer on the counter and handed the bottle to the clerk. He then turned and grabbed the wrist of Randal’s right arm and twisted it behind his back and frog marched the drunken fool right out the door and let him go once he was outside. Wendell then came back to the counter, picking up his basked on the way. He paid for his purchase and the clerk thanked him for his intervention. Seeing the clerk was much older than he, he asked if he knew anything about Randal other than that he was an annoying bully and drunk.

“He’s been that way for years. Ever since he and that no-good son of a bitch he used to run will got in trouble. They got this gal drunk one Saturday night and they both raped her. Or at least that’s what they were accused of. The girl never would say for sure. But then she couldn’t. She killed herself. Her mother found her hanging by her neck in her bedroom. Everyone knew it was those two though. And no one would give them the time of day after that. They just got high and drank whenever they could. That other one, Steve something, killed himself when he drove off the road into the river. He was stoned or drunk of course. I don’t think anyone shed a tear over it, except Randy. He’s been like this ever since.” The clerk said shaking his head then shrugged.

Wendell, too, shook his head and then gathered his purchases and took them out to the jeep. He got a strange look from Wendy when he got back into the driver seat and closed the door. She reached over and laid her hand on his forearm and squeezed gently. When he turned to look at her, she asked.

“Was that… the same man from the gas station a few days ago?”

Wendell nodded and frowned. He took his other hand and patted the back of Wendy’s hand then turned the ignition and started the jeep. They drove home in silence. Wendell lost in thought of how Karma had a way of catching up to people. He wondered what Karma had in store for him.

Back at the house, Wendy helped Wendell carry in all the groceries. He carried the wine and beer since it was heaviest. After several trips the job was done and they set about putting stuff away. Wendell had Wendy put it away so that she would know where stuff was in the kitchen, since she was going to be living here now. Clever, she thought, but smiled and did just that.

Since they had had a late lunch, neither was particularly hungry by dinner time. They both agree that they needed showers and a change of clothes however. They took turns tending to those tasks. Wendy went first while Wendell checked his messages and email in his office. When she was done, he took a shower and shaved before going to his room to put on fresh clothes. After he was done, he found Wendy in the kitchen.

She had cut up some cheese and some sausages along with some fruit to put on a board with some crackers. She asked him if he wanted a beer or some wine. Instead, he opted for a glass of iced tea, like she was having. They carried the board out to the deck and had a seat at the glass top table. They talked and nibbled and drank, relaxing after two long days of heavy lifting and traveling. It was nice to simply kick back and breathe they agreed.

When the snack board was cleared, except for a couple of crackers, Wendy stood up to take it inside. When she stood up, she winced and arched her back with her hands at the small of her back. Wendell noticed and frowned, knowing that his back was feeling a bit tight too, he recognized the outward signs.

“I should fire up the hot tub, it would probably be a good idea for both of us to take a long hot soak, make your back feel better.” He said motioning his tea glass towards the lower level of the deck.

Wendy turned and looked in that direction. She had noticed the enclosure before but never thought to ask about it. Now thinking about it she recalled reading about the hot tub in Gwen’s diary, and she blushed. She turned back to look at Wendell and asked.

“I completely forgot that you have a hot tub. Seriously?” she exclaimed with a bemused smile on her face. “Sure! Why not. I think I can find my bathing suit without too much digging.” She added and picked up the snack board and her tea glass to carry them back inside.

Wendell got up from his own chair and drained the last of his iced tea before setting the glass on the table. He then walked to the steps and down to the lower level. He opened the privacy enclosure and reached in to turn on the lights. He lifted the cover and folded it to set it aside, before pulling out his testing kit from it’s little cubby in the towel bin. He checked the PH, and other pertinent indicators. Satisfied the water was good to go, he replaced the kit and turned on the heaters and jets to circulate the water as it heated. Once that was done, he exited the enclosure and returned to the house to find his own trunks.

They met in the hallway, Wendy coming out of the guestroom as Wendell was walking from his room towards the kitchen. Wendy paused and looked him up and down. This was the first time she had seen him without a shirt on. She thought he was… she shook her head to banish the thought and blushed as she smiled at him. He on the other hand merely smiled and signaled with his hand that she should proceed. They left the kitchen onto the deck then descended the steps to the lower level. Wendell opened the door to the privacy enclosure and again motioned for her to go first.

“Ladies first.” He said, and she smiled and stepped inside.

“A little dark in here isn’t it?” Wendy said hesitantly.

Wendell flipped a switch by the door and the string of fairy light along the ceiling turned on giving the enclosure a soft ambient light. He kicked off his boat shoes and lifted a leg over the side of the tub before offering his hand to Wendy to assist her in entering the tub as well. She also kicked off her sandals and then took his hand. She ooohed and aaaahed at the warmth of the water and settled in slowly to the seat on her side of the tub.

Wendell eased into the water as well and groaned as he settled into his own seat. Then he reached for his phone that he had been carrying. He pulled up the control app for his home audio system and hit play. Music began coming from the speakers around the enclosure. He adjusted the volume down a bit then set the phone aside. Next, he reached over and hit the button that turned on the tub’s water jets.

Wendy smiled with her eyes closed and let out a soft moan as she settled a little deeper into the water.

“Oh. This is amazing!” she murmured in appreciation.

“It does hit the spot, doesn’t it?” Wendell replied, as he felt the heat soaking into his tired sore muscles, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of Wendy as she relaxed on the other side of the tub from himself.

When she had her eyes closed and that… that smile… God, help him, Wendy looked so very much like Gwen. He had to avert his eyes as the flash of sorrow lanced through his heart. It passed after a few moments. When he opened his eyes again, I found he was being watched carefully by Wendy.

“I did it again… didn’t I?” she asked so softly he almost didn’t hear her words for the sounds of the water jets.

He simply looked at her and smiled sadly before closing his eyes again. She didn’t let it drop this time though.

“Wendell… I’m sorry I look like her… but you have to understand that as much as I do look like my mother… Gwen… I am not her. I can never be her. I wouldn’t want to be her… She was… special. I can see how and why you love her so very much. I will never try to replace her…” she said softly with a tinge of sadness in her voice.

“I know.” Wendell responded just as softly, his eyes still closed. “That’s only part of it though. Yes, every time I look at you, I’m reminded of her… sometimes… it hurts… other times… I think of how happy and proud she would be of you. You are a vibrant, beautiful young woman. You’re smart, you’re thoughtful, you’re kind… all the things she was, and more. If I were a younger man, I would be smitten with you myself.” He admitted, still with that sad smile.

“A younger man?” She asked haltingly, almost afraid to have him elaborate on that statement further.

Wendell nodded his head, his soft, sad smile faltering for a moment. He opened his eyes to look deeply into hers before continuing.

“I’m… I’m old enough to be your father. It wouldn’t be fair to you…” He all but choked on the words, his voice tight and thick.

“Not… fair? To me?” Wendy asked with a bit of peeved confusion. “Why would it not be fair to me? If I found myself in love with your and wanted you to be mine… what would your age have to do with it? I’m a grown woman. I’m not a child. I may be younger, but I can’t help that anymore than you can help being your age. If anything, I would think it would not be fair to you. Especially knowing how very much you love her. I would feel like I’m intruding… Even if she gave me… us… her blessing and even suggested it in the first place.” Wendy spat out the last with a bit of heated emotion that shocked and surprised Wendell.

She stared at his shocked expression and then her own face fell as her eyes filled with tears and she all but leapt out of the hot tub and raced out the door and up the deck into the house. Wendell sat there, stunned. What did he say or do to cause this, he wondered. “Oh my God!” he thought. “I’ve hurt her.” Without thinking about it for even a moment longer, he stood up and got out of the tub to hurriedly follow Wendy into the house. He had to make this right.

He followed the wet footprints on the deck and into the kitchen. The footprints continued down the hall and turned into the guest room. Stopping outside the door, he noticed that the door wasn’t completely shut, but rather than barge in, he knocked softly on the door jamb.

“Wendy?” He called out nervously

“Go away!” She sobbed with a muffled voice.

“Wendy, please…” He said again, not knowing what else to say at that moment.

“You’re right! It’s not fair… go away…” she retorted.

“Wendy…” Wendell said softly again as he slowly pushed the door open and stepped into the room.

Wendy was curled up atop the bed in a fetal ball with her back to the door and her face buried in a pillow. Her whole body was shaking. Seeing her this way broke Wendell’s heart. He gasped, knowing that his words had brought this on. In her mind, he had rejected her, seemingly out of hand… because she was… younger. In reality, he knew that he was indeed trying to keep his distance emotionally, because it was true. He saw Gwen in her but he also saw Wendy for herself. Only he didn’t tell her that part. He didn’t tell her how attractive he found her and how utterly happy he was in her presence. That was a mistake… that omission seemed like a rejection to her, this much he understood now. Make it right, his brain screamed… HOLD HER his heart screamed.

Stepping to the side of the bed he sat on the edge and hesitantly ran his hand across her shaking shoulders as she silently wept. He felt a tear break free and run down his own cheek and he reflexively sniffed at it. This sound caused Wendy to pause in her shaking and she half rolled in the bed so that she could look up at Wendell’s face.

Their eyes met, and something clicked. A change came over both of them. Wendy rolled a bit more so that she was flat on her back now. Wendell’s hand that had been caressing her shoulders was now pressed onto the bed next to her. Their eyes searched… they sought out recognition and acceptance and… something that had been lurking just under their projected exteriors. Something both felt from the beginning but had denied it to themselves… but that had changed. Now it just seemed welcoming… and wanting.

Wendy lifted her chin ever so slightly, her tears still rolling down her cheeks. Wendell lowered his torso towards the bed, leaning his face closer to hers. Eyes still searching for any doubt or fear or rejection. Then their lips met.

It was a soft gentle buss, hardly a kiss at all really, but it was electric. Both of them, Wendy and Wendell, gasped and pulled back just enough to look fully into the other’s face. The uncertainty flashing in both of their eyes, but only for a moment. Then their hearts took over and their lips collided once more but this time it was a long heated passionate kiss that poets dream of. The kind of kiss that lovers long for and die for to just have one more like that.

Their lips flowed like liquid, their tongues met and joined in that eternal lover’s dance, twisting and turning and darting about to sample and savor every nuance of the other. Wendy’s hands found themselves holding Wendell’s face as if he were a life preserver and she was drowning. Wendell found himself lying on his back and didn’t understand how he had got there. His hands were running up and down Wendy’s back and sides as if his body was trying to make sure she was real and this was actually happening.

They kissed and kissed and kissed until they couldn’t breathe. The buried their faces in the other’s neck and shoulders and held and groped each other with abandon. Gasping for air and moaning. The groping led to more heated exploration and touching. Each discovering the other’s secrets and treasures. When they could breathe, they resumed kissing. On and on it went, neither even noting the time or anything else for that matter. Their consciousness had collapsed into a universe that included only each other.

After an eternity of touching and kissing and discovery, Wendy found herself on her back once more and Wendell was hovering over her, his weight supported by his arms. She looked up into his eyes and asked… no… demanded… unconditionally.

“Wendell… make love to me.” She said in a low guttural breathy lust fueled voice.

Wendell looked down into her eyes and hesitated, if only for a heartbeat, before asking.

“Are you sure?”

“I swear to God, if you don’t take me this very moment… I’m going to die!” She said breathlessly as she started to tug at the waistband of his swim shorts.

Wendell gave up the last bit of self-restraint and resistance at that moment. He sat up on his knees and he and Wendy both pulled his shorts down. His erection springing forward and up from the shorts as they were dragged down. Wendy lifted her legs and hooked her feet in his shorts and kicked them down and free of his body. Her hands reached for and captured his manhood. Wendell gasped, then moaned from the very pit of his soul.

Looking down once more he saw the heated unmistakable desire in Wendy’s eyes. Her mouth slightly agape as she breathed heavier and heavier with each passing moment. He also noted that she was still dressed in her own bathing suit. The two-piece bikini, a modest version of what so many other women were like to wear. No strings or eye patches here, but no matter how modest and covering it was, it was still covering her up. Wendell slipped his arms under hers and around her back then in one swift motion he rolled them both over so that he was on his back and she was lying atop is now naked body.

Wendy yelped when Wendell flipped them over. She then looked down into his face, the look of wanting desire that set her on fire like no other man had ever done before in her life. She lunged for his face and locked lips once more. It was if she needed his kisses, to breathe. She needed his soul to complete her own. While kissing she felt his hands at her hips, grasping as if to hang on for dear life. It was time.

Sitting up she reached behind her back and unfastened the bikini top. With a flick of her wrist, she sent the top flying across the room somewhere. Her hands reached for Wendell’s wrists and brought his hands to her now bare breasts. She had never considered herself well endowed by any stretch of the imagination, but she knew that she had a nice healthy pair of firm full breasts that every boy she had ever known had lusted after. The feel of Wendell’s big warm hands molding themselves onto and into her breasts made her shudder all the way to her core.

“OH God! YES!” she exclaimed as she leaned bodily into his touch, her hair having come loose from the bungee band that had secured her hair in a pony tail earlier, hung down about her head and face like a curtain, framing her face.

“Oh… Wendy…” Wendell gasped, looking up into her eyes and falling deeper and deeper into them.

Wendy released his hands to do their own thing, and grabbed at the tie strings on either side of her bikini bottom. Once untied, it too joined the top somewhere across the room. Her hands now free to do other things, more important things, reached between them and grabbed Wendell’s cock. She shifted her weight backwards, scooting a bit to where she could align him with her wet wanting and waiting maidenhood. Her pussy was dripping with arousal and pouting, ready for him… wanting him… all of him.

Wendell felt Wendy lift herself slightly over his crotch, his cock in one hand and her other, fingers splayed opening her labia further and guiding his head into her. Her eyes never left his and he never looked away. He saw her eyes widen with their first contact, as she lowered herself onto his mast. The head pushing into her lips and within. She rotated her hips almost cautiously at first as if to make sure she had the proper alignment then she began to sink lower. Her eyes going from wide and surprised to hooded and barely looking opened. A look of intense concentration.

Slowly she lowered herself… slowly Wendell’s cock was absorbed into her wet velvety furnace. Slowly, slowly, slowly. Each gasping with each additional inch, melding their passion and their desire in the most basic most carnal way. Until… there was no more… They were joined, completely. Wendy had her hands locked onto Wendell’s arms at the elbows… Wendell removed his hands from her tantalizing breasts and moved them behind her shoulders and drew her down to him. They sealed their lips in a long fiery passionate kiss once more. Her breasts now pressed, flattened against his sturdy hair chest. His strong insistent arms holding her tightly, drawing her tighter still.

While still lost in their most passionate kiss yet, Wendy began moving her hips. Grinding and rotating slowly at first. It was unclear who began to moan first, but they both certainly moaned as the pleasure ramped up higher and higher. It wasn’t long before Gwen’s motions included a rise and fall of her hips. And not long after that that Wendell matched her movements with his own, adding a thrust and withdraw to each of Wendy’s rise and falls.

The more exertion they did, the more they needed to breathe so the kissing had to stop. Wendy brought her hands to rest on Wendell’s chest to better enable her movements. Wendell’s hands had no such restrictions however, and they wandered all over every inch of her body that he could reach. From her neck, her shoulders, her flanks, and hips… of course her breasts, and up and down her back… lastly her ass. One meaty feminine cheek in each of his big strong hands as he squeezed and gripped them aiding in her movements as well as his own. Up, down, in, out, faster and faster.

Somewhere in the distance lightning flashed in the now darkened sky. A low rumbling thunder echoed for miles and miles. It was too soft or distant anyway to be noticed at this point but it grew and grew, much like the flames of passion between the two entranced lovers. The wind picked up as the advancing storm grew closer and closer. A cool wet breeze blew through the screen door in the kitchen, flittering down the hallway and across the open doorway of the guest room. The curtains on the windows in the room fluttered as if animated. Yet the lovers didn’t notice. Such was their enchantment with one another.

Faster and faster, they rose and fell, bucking up and down, flesh slapping wet flesh and lungs gasping for oxygen as the fire grew and grew.

“OH… OH… OH… OH GOD! Yes… Yes…YESSSSSSS!” Wendy cried out in gasping halting breathes in time with each penetration. Riding the waves of her building climax higher and higher like the wind blowing outside. The Thunder growing louder and more frequent with each passing moment.

“Oh… My… GOD!... WENDY!... SOOOO GOOOOOD… OH GOD!” Wendell exclaimed just as breathlessly and enthusiastically.

A flash of lighting, very, very close by heralded a crashing boom of thunder so loud that it shook the windows and even the pictures on the wall. It was as if it were a cue for the passionate explosion that occurred almost at the very same time. Wendy seized up completely, stuck down to the very root of Wendell’s ardent throbbing cock. Her back arched as if she were trying to bend over backwards. Her head tilted back to the very extreme on her neck as her mouth hung open in a long silent scream of ecstasy. Her fingers dug into Wendell’s flesh as he felt her inner walls contract over and over and over on his cock… it set him off on his own ultimate final release as well.

Wendy could feel Wendell’s cock throb and pulse as jet after jet of his virile essence surged through it to splash on her inner walls and flood her core with that hot spend. Another flash of lightning, another booming roar of thunder, and another and another… it all went un noticed by the two of them as they were lost in their throws of mind-blowing orgasmic bliss. It wasn’t until they had collapsed onto one another and lay panting and trying to recover that they even became aware of the storm outside. Wendy lay atop of Wendell, his still very hard cock still very much inside of her, still pulsing ever so slightly as if eager for another go.

When he could move his arms, Wendell brought them up to wrap around Wendy’s body and to hold her tightly to himself. She kissed his shoulder and neck as she began to come back down to earth and was aware once more of where she was and what had just happened. Wendell, in turn, kissed her neck and began murmuring into her hair and neck.

“Thank you… thank you… Oh god, thank you so much…” he repeated over and over softly almost as if a prayer or an intimate whisper… maybe both Wendy thought to herself.

Wendy could feel tears welling up in her eyes again, but this time it wasn’t from sadness or pain, these were happy tears. Tears of thanks, of joy… of love. The storm raged outside and the wind gusted and blew rattling the windows and the still open screen door in the kitchen… the wind blew down the hallway rattling the photos hund on the walls, it blew past Wendell’s office door that was open, creating a mini cyclone within the room. The open folders with his project specs and notes left the loose sheets of paper to fly about the room scattered. One gust was strong enough that it actually flipped the rear cover of the binder that held Gwen’s diary, open… revealing that very last page of that diary. Then the wind died as quickly as it had started.

Wendell and Wendy listened to the storm receded into the distance and held each other tightly. Wendy lifted herself up enough to turn to face Wendell so that she could kiss him again. It was a soft sensual kiss, full of love and thanks. Gentle bussing of their lips and gentle brushes of their tongues, relaxed and luxuriating in one another’s warmth and affection. Breaking the kiss, after a while, Wendy looked deep into Wendell’s eyes and spoke.

“I should be thanking you.” She said huskily but with a softness that professed her heart’s desire.

“You are welcomed, of course.” Wendell answered with all the honesty his heart could muster.

“I know… I know we were supposed to be taking things slow, getting to know one another… being friends… but…” Wendy spoke softly, biting her bottom lip before continuing. “I hope this won’t be a one-time thing…” She finished, again biting her bottom lip. “She collapsed onto his chest again and gasp out the final words. “I would die…” then sniffed as tears came unbidden from her eyes once more.

Wendell, remained silent, not knowing what to say to that. He did stroke her back softly with one hand as his other arm again pulled her tightly to his body and he kissed the back of her head. They lay there like that for a few minutes longer before both of them were prompted by their bodies that they needed to address biological necessities.

Reluctantly, they both rolled out of bed and padded towards the hallway and to the bathroom. Wendell stopped at his office door noticing that there were pages and pages of paper scattered everywhere in the room. Wendy hadn’t noticed it, so urgent was her need. Wendell began picking up page after page and trying to sort them out but it was a mess and it would take some time. As he put yet another handful of pages on his desk, he noticed that the diary was open. He knew that he had closed it the last time he had sat at his desk reading it. He looked closer and saw that it was open to the very last page of the last entry.

He read those final words and he felt his heart still for a moment. He gasped audibly and felt his knees go weak as he braced himself with both hands on top of the desk. Those last words seemed to stand out, almost glow in his vision. They didn’t, of course, but they might as well have for the effect they had on him, on his mind, and most of all, on his heart.

“…Wen… know that you have my blessings. Go into it with an open heart. That same heart that you shared with me. I love you… I love both or you. Farewell.”

His eyes blurred as his heart swelled in his chest. Those words… “How did she know?” he asked himself in a whisper.

“Know what?” Wendy asked from the doorway, carefully stepping around still loose pages on the floor to stand beside him at the desk.

She wrapped one arm around Wendell’s waist and leaned closer to see the words his fingers traced, the very last line in the diary, her mother’s last words. Wendy felt her own heart swell in her chest. Those words had struck a chord with her when she read them before, but now… now they had a new and special meaning.

She leaned against Wendell and sighed. He stood straighter and turned to envelop her in his arms, they were both still stark naked and shaking with emotions that ran rampant within them. They both looked down at the diary as an errant breeze blew lightly down the hall and into the room… the final page fluttered and turned over face down. Wendy sniffed and whispered…

“Farewell…”

Wendell sniffed as well and repeated the same word.

“Farewell… my love.”

Wendy hugged him tighter and they held each other close.

…

“Well as I live and breathe! Look who it is! Sit down! Sit down girl! Should you even be out waddling around right now?” Marylinn clucked like an old mother hen as she herded Wendy over to the nearest open booth, the same one that she and Wendell often sat at whenever they came to the diner.

“Ohhhh my feet! Yeah, I should be a little more thoughtful when I decide to get up and go. I’ll be so glad when this is over.” Wendy lamented as she slid gingerly into the booth but didn’t turn to face the table.

“Just how much longer do you have anyway?” Marylinn asked as she had scurried over to the counter and grabbed a glass and filled it with iced water. She sat it down on the table and took a seat on the other side of the table.

“Well, if all goes as planned, on schedule, in another three weeks.” Wendy said as she ran one hand gently over her very pregnant belly.

“I’ll bet Wendell is a nervous wreck, or would be if he knew you were out and about in the state you are in.” Marylinn chuckled. “Where is he anyway?”

“He had to fly to Fort Bragg in Georgia to make a few final adjustments to one of his projects for the trials. He should be back in the morning.” Wendy stated with a warm smile.

“I’ll bet he didn’t go without a fight though, did he?” Marylinn smirked knowingly.

“I almost had to call the MPs to come get him. He said he should be here, home with me. He worries so much. I swear, you’d think HE was the one having the baby instead of me.” Wendy stated with a soft laugh in her voice.

“Yeah… he’s a worry wart, but you know it comes from the heart. You are a very, VERY lucky girl to have him.” Marylinn stated wistfully with a smile, and reached out to pat Wendy’s hand on the table.

“Yes, I am.” Wendy agreed and smiled.

“So! Have you come up with names yet? Do you know if it’s going to be a boy or a girl? Come on girl! Spill the beans! I’m dying to know!” Marylinn said enthusiastically.

“Well… it’s… SHE… is a girl. As for the name… it’s kind of why I came in today to see you.” Wendy told her with a tilt to her head as if asking if it was alright to ask something.

“Why you came to see me?” Marylinn asked, puzzled.

“Uh huh. You see, Wendell and I have been trying to decide on names and we keep coming back around to three names. He wanted to honor both of our mothers, and one very special friend.” Wendy said, maybe teasing a little.

“Special friend?” Marylinn asked, still not understanding… then it dawned on her what Wendy was suggesting.

Marylinn’s eyes filled with tears and she smiled so brightly that Wendy thought she might have to put her sunglasses back on.

“Me?” Marylinn asked, still doubting.

“Yes… how does this sound to you? We want to name her Mary-Olivia Gwendolyn Anders.”

“Oh, how beautiful!” Marylinn stated bringing a tissue to her now very wet and leaking eyes.

“It’s the least we can do for my maid of honor, and best friend of both of us.” Wendy said as she reached over and squeezed Marylinn’s hand. “I want to add Godmother to that list too… if that’s alright?” She added with a smile.

Marylinn’s eyes scrunched up tighter and her smile scrunched up as well and she nodded her head enthusiastically in agreement.

… The End

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