I began writing a Troll - Elf fantasy romance, but my muses strangely inspired a dirty poem instead. I also created a new character type for fantasy roleplay games, the Skank Elf.
I began writing a Troll - Elf love story and also created a new ADULT character type for fantasy roleplaying games. Character race / class details follow the dirty poem my muses also inspired.
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Zog and Ellieneffie
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In deepest forest midnight calls.
Troll is growling, darkness crawls.
Zog's reputation crude and green.
Thickest longest rod ever seen!
Armor hard and tight,
but her desire is strong.
Horny Elf craves a meatstick
three feet long!
When you ride a troll, it stretches your hole.
Love the beast’s long girthy pole!
She’ll never go back,
drains his swollen sack.
Mouth wide open, fangs so mean,
Troll has a weapon thick and green.
Roar in the dark, fierce lust in waves.
She loosens slit with magic,
his monster log invades!
When you love a troll, it stretches your hole.
Love the beast’s long girthy pole!
She’ll never go back,
drains his swollen sack.
Raise your Drink!
Cry her name!
ELLIENNEFFIE!
Elf princess bred by troll,
never be the same!
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SKANKS and SKANK ELVES - New RPG Character Race and Class - Adults only!
Skanks are highly valued by teammates for their Sexual Healing, Depravery, spells, and Rogue abilities. Some Game Masters / Dungeon Masters may choose to allow male Skanks, but most Skank class characters are bisexual females. Skank Elves are a sub-race like High Elf, Wood Elf, or Dark Elf. Skank Elves and Humans are the only races who may enter the Skank character class, and Skank Elves who choose to adventure may only become Skanks. The race of any offspring born to Skanks is randomly determined, 50 percent Skank Elves and 50 percent a random other race. Skanks have abilities from several classes, and cannot be multi-class.
Special Skank Class Abilities
- SEXUAL HEALING
- A character of another class performing oral sex on a Skank for 1d10 +2 (3 to 12) minutes heals the Skank for 1d6 hit points. Skanks can receive Sexual Healing once per day from each partner, 1 partner at a time. At level 5 or above, Skanks can give and receive Sexual Healing at the same time. Cannot be used during a Depravery attempt.
- A Skank performing oral Sexual Healing for 1d10 +2 (3 to 12) minutes heals the recipient for 2d6 hit points, including other Skanks. May use once per day on each partner at Skank level 1, plus another daily use per 2 additional Skank levels, twice per day for each partner at Skank level 3, three daily at Skank 5, etc. Cannot be used during a Depravery attempt.
- Level 6 and above Skanks can give oral and anal Sexual Healing at the same time, healing two recipients if the Skank is not being healed. At level 10 female Skanks can heal a male each in their vagina and anus, plus another person with their mouth simultaneously. Level 10 male Skanks can heal a female with their penis, a male with their ass, and another partner with their mouth.
- SNUFFING
- First attack does a critical hit on all but a natural 1, if the target is nude with penis inserted in the Skank, or if they have the Skank’s fingers or penis in their vagina or rectum. Second attack does double damage on successful attack roll, and third and later attacks work as usual. Snuffing is obviously an evil act.
- DEPRAVERY
- Skank uses seduction and sexual activity to get a reward or achieve a goal. Takes 2d6 x 5 (10 to 60) minutes. Player may choose to add 30 minutes before rolling duration to get a 20 percent success bonus. At level 5 and above, Skanks can do Depravery as a Quickie to reduce time required to 3d6 (3 to 18) minutes with a - 20 percent penalty to success chance.
- Depravery is the sexual complement to the Persuasion proficiency, and may be used after a failed Persuasion attempt.
- Knowing the same language helps but is not required. Sometimes nudity and lewd gestures are enough.
- Depravery may be used once per day per Skank level, twice at level 2, three times at level 3, etc. Can only attempt once per day per target, who may be any humanoid species or intelligent non-humanoid. Affects any living being with a mind and a penis and / or vagina; pegasi, unicorns, werewolves in wolf form, etc.
- Skank player tells the DM what they want before rolling for duration and success; money, an item, target unlocking a door, allowing character to do something they shouldn’t, etc.
- Roll for success after the sexual episode, base 50 percent chance at level 1, plus 5 percent per additional level, plus 5 percent per Charisma point above 16. Penalty - 50 percent if target is usually not attracted to the Skank’s gender, lesbian with a male Skank, etc.
- Other bonuses or penalties may apply, at Dungeon Master’s discretion. More valuable goals or items have a lower chance of success, and kinkier more exciting activities raise the odds. A level 6 Skank giving sex in all three holes to a horny lonely innkeeper for a few coins, a meal, or a bed for the night would be terribly easy, roll 160 or lower on a percent roll, and only fail on a natural 00. But a level 1 Skank trading a hostile lizardman High Priest a quick handjob for the Crown of the Vampire King? After all the many penalties, the Skank player needs to roll lower than negative 60 so it’s just not going to happen, even on a natural 01.
- If the Depravery success roll fails there is a 50 percent chance (6 or higher on 1d10) the target politely declines the request but remains friendly, so another attempt can be made the next day. On 30 percent of failures (3 to 5 on 1d10) the target rudely refuses, tells the Skank to leave, and may become violent if the Skank persists. If a 1 or 2 is rolled, the target is furious and attacks.
- Target body size only matters if the Depravery target is an ogre, troll, centaur, or larger. Skank vaginas and rectums are small enough to please a male kobold or halfling, and magically stretch to hold larger dicks. If the DM allows male Skanks, their penises adjust in a similar fashion.
- Accepting penises from Giant size targets requires level 8 or above, and size Large requires level 3. Successful or not, attempts to receive penises from Large or bigger creatures require a saving throw to avoid sexual damage equal to the target’s most powerful, non-magical unarmed attack every 10 minutes, or part of ten minutes. If sex took 11 to 20 minutes, roll a saving throw twice. Save 6 times if the target needed an hour, even on success. Depravery with a giant or dragon usually means a snuff scene, death during sex, for all but the luckiest and most experienced Skanks.
Skank Elf Racial Adjustments - These do not apply to Human Skanks.
(based on 3d6 / 3 to 18)
Charisma minimum 14 then add bonus + 2
Dexterity minimum 10 then add bonus + 1
Strength maximum 16 then subtract penalty - 2, minimum 3
Bonus + 1 hit point healed for each Sexual Healing, giving or receiving.
Bonus + 2 to all sexual saving throws and take a third less damage from failed sex saves. If hit for 30 sex damage lose 20 hit points.
Skank Elves cannot learn or use the Intimidation proficiency, they are too sexy and cute to scare anyone.
Class Adjustments – apply to both Skank Elves and Human Skanks
Bonus + 1 to hit with knife, dagger, and short bow
Skanks cannot wear armor heavier than leather or Elven mail, and -20 penalty to Depravery if wearing any type of armor.
Bonus 2 extra non-combat proficiencies at level 1
Penalty - 1 to hit with melee weapons larger than a rapier or shortsword.
Cannot use polearms, longbow, or heavy crossbow.
Hit Points: 1d6+4 (5 to 10) at level 1, plus 1d6 for each additional level.
Level Progression
1 – One Wizard cantrip, all other abilities start the same as a level 1 Rogue with a -2 or -10 percent penalty to Rogue skills.
2 – Gain another Wizard cantrip and lose the -2 / -10 percent penalty to rogue abilities.
3 - Gain level 2 Rogue abilities. Sexual Healing twice per day per partner. May try Depravery with size Large targets.
4 – Gain all level 2 Wizard abilities, then 1 extra level of Wizard abilities per 3 additional Skank levels.
5 - Can give and receive Sexual Healing at the same time, up to 3 times daily per partner, Quickies
6 – Rogue level 3 abilities, give oral and anal Sexual Healing at the same time
7 – Wizard level 3 abilities, give Sexual Healing to each partner 4 times daily
8 – May try Depravery with Giant sized targets
Zero Level in old game versions –
Level 0 Skank Elves start with 4 hit points. They give or receive 1d4 hit points of Sexual Healing for 60 minutes of sex, may not give and receive at the same time, and only once per day each with a maximum 3 partners. Level 0 Skank Elves may attempt Depravery once per day, with a – 20 percent penalty to success, and only Human sized or smaller targets.