Daisy makes a few bob sucking off the boss and her dad gets wrong end or the stick
Warning. This is about Yorkshire folk in Yorkshire. and written like Yorkshire folk speak, so be warned. There’s plenty of other stuff to read, if thee don’t like it. It might not be so good perhaps but its up to thee.
It were a lovely summer evening, well we get one every couple of years in Yorkshire.
Down at Mill hooter had gone off and the Lads were packing up for the evening.
Smoke drifted across Halifax from the Mill Chimney like some fiery blanket as it caught suns rays and snuffed them out.
I watched the Lads leave some on Bicycles some on foot, trudging wearily home. I liked wearily, meant they’d done some graft. The lazy sods what strolled out like they was with some tart parading on Grimsby Fish Quay on Whit Sunday weren’t no use to nobody and needed sacking to encourage the rest.
The books looked good, sun were shining life seemed good
Suddenly out of the blue there were a commotion, a bunch of blokes were heading away from the Mill gate with Daisy Metcalfe and her dad Eli leading. “What’s going of?" I asked me self but the I realised they were heading for me office.
The ignorant sods never even knocked nor took off their caps but walked straight in to the outer office. Old Tom me ledger clerk tried to stop them but they came straight up the stairs and burst right in to me office.
“Sorry Mr Hardacre,” Tom says as he were swept in with them..
“What the bloody hell” I says “What happened to knocking first? I could have been shagging me secretary.” as about half a dozen of them squeezed into me office.
“Yer too bloody tight fisted to pay a secretary,” Eli says, “You been shagging my Daisy and now she’s up the duff.”
I looked at her, up the duff? Too many chip suppers more like, she were sort of girl you shagged doggy fashion so you could imagine she were beautiful and I knew if she was up duff it weren’t bloody mine, Anyway I was far too old for bairns, I were bloody near sixty and she weren’t even twenty one though she’d pass for thirty easy.
“Shagging your Daisy?” I asked.
“Yes you took advantage, you’ll have to do right thing by her,” Albert Hathaway chipped in. The other blokes murmured.
I had a think, did some sums, well I were on me own now Elsie had buggered off with a Polo player and I were free agent. “Fair enough,” I says , “I’ll phone vicar see when church is free.”
“No you wazzock she wants money for doctor, get rid.” Eli chipped in.
“Bollocks you wants money for a new Push bike you lying prat” I says, “I don’t believe she’s up duff at all.
“Doctor” Summers our first aider had come to see what fuss were about in case he had to patch some folk up.
“Well thee’ll know six months hence,” Eli announced, “Unless thee forks out afore it’s too late.”
“I reckon we can settle this right now” I says “Check her cunt for us Summers, tell us what you see.”
Daisy got agitated, “No, that’s private is that.”
“Well according to thee I’ve seen it all afore so you lot bugger off while Summers here has a look.”
Eli said he’d stop and all, so after a lot of nonsense Daisy dropped her knickers and sat on my desk. Summers spread her legs apart and there was a perfect peach of a cunt, pristine, no bruising nothing.
“Er gaffer,” Summers said “ You need to see this.”
“Is it a baby, is it cancer?” Eli asked.
“No she’s a virgin!” Summers cried.
“Give us a look,” I says.
“No me first,” Eli says, and he shifts for a better view, “Oh bloody hell Daisy you ent had it wi no one let alone the gaffer.”
“But I have!” she protested as I had a look, easing aside her cunt lips to see her hymen blocking me way. But not for long My thumb made short work of it and she gasped as I started fingering her.
“You could have got good money for that,” I says, “Blokes will pay good money, fifty quid and that for a virgin in Harrogate and that.”
“Then you owe her,” Eli says.
“But I ent shagger her have I?” I say, “Ent sunk me tadger ball deep.” I says and me tadger was stood up near as damnit as far as me belly button.
“Bollcoks to this,” I says and with me other hand I undid me belt and dropped me trousers and underpants while at the same time wanking her, getting her ready like.
I pulled her along the desk and says “Ready or not I’m coming and I rammed my tadger hard up inside her. Bloody hell were she tight, Her face contorted with pleasure and pain mixed but she didn’t push me away. Her eyes were shining, she wanted it as much as I did and then it were all over and I shot me load up her.
I pulled out, wiped me cock on her knickers an chucked them in’t bin, “Thee’ll not need them again” I says, “I’ll up thee wages one and six a week to be me bit on the side.”
“Don’t be daft,” Eli says “Thee’ll save a couple of quid a week on prossies.”
“No he won’t dad,” Daisy admitted “ I’ve been sucking him off for sixpence a time, I thought that’s how folk got up the duff.”
“I wondered how you afforded them stockings,” Eli said, “Bloody hell Daisy, I could have got sack over this, Come on lads best bugger off quick smart before gaffer gets really riled.”
They filed out, I turned to Daisy “You could be works tart if thee fancied it,” I offered, “It’s good money.”
“No, I think I’ll just kick off with being your bit on the side,” Daisy said and she smiled and her face lit up. “You weren’t serious about me not wearing knickers only it’s bloody freezing when wind blows up Arkwright Street.”
“No,” I agreed, “Any road if thee has job of works tart thee gets to live in works tarts boudoir above the main boiler house, I don’t reckon our last one had any clothes bar socking and a suspender belt.”
“Can’t I have boudoir and just be your bit on the side?” she asked.
“No," I said, “Tax man wouldn’t like it if I were sole beneficiary,”
“Tell thee what though, I could get extra tax allowance if we wed,” I realised, “Bugger it I’ll make an honest woman of thee.”
“But I want to be a concubine and have lots of gentlemen callers,” she protested.
“Daisy you’re far too ugly for that,” I chided, “No we’ll see bloke at town hall and get hitched.”
“Aren’t you supposed to go down on one knee.” she asked.
“No I bloody ent,” I says, “Not with you cunt full of my spunk.”
“No to ask me,” she replied.
“I don’t need to lass, I already fucked you,” I says, “You might be up the duff already.”
“I don’t know,” she said, “I want me own brothel in Scarborough or some such where its sunny,”
“Don’t be bloody daft,” I says “For one thing it bloody old and miserable in Scarborough and thee’s too bloody ugly to make a good living as a tart.”
“No I want’s to manage it an take me pick of blokes.” she says..
“Tell thee what," I says, “When we’re wed I’ll buy thee a brothel in Scarborough, Robin Hoods bay perhaps, and you can have all the blokes you want as long as I can fuck the girls.”
“Really!” she gasped, “Oh gaffer you’re the best, Of course I’ll wed thee.” and she smiled and almost looked beautiful, but not quite.