A fictional, alternative ending to one part of my previously posted 'sex life story'.
I believe it will standalone, but a might be a good idea to read Ramblings of an Old Man – Part 02 Teenage Kicks if you want the full context of what went before.
Janet arrived at my door in floods of tears. Her parents had just announced that they would be moving away. It was a done deal. Arrangements had been made ‘in secret’ over the past few months, which explained her parents' frequent absences. The move was to occur in a few weeks. Worse, Janet and her sister were to be farmed out to grandparents, while the house was packed and moved. I was unlikely to see her again after today. We hugged, kissed, and cried together. We swore to fight against this, whilst knowing there was absolutely nothing we could do to stop it happening. We never got to consummate our teenage relationship. I am sure it would have been spectacular, for me at least.
Well, that is how the story ended, in real life (See Ramblings of an Old Man – Part 02 Teenage Kicks.)
But I spend far too many days bed bound now, that I have so much time to kill. As well as reading many new stories on here, I have re-read my own postings many times, to try and re-live my life in my mind, and keep a spark alive. That one, part 02, always jumps out at me. What could have been? I daydream about it constantly. So, I decided to try and put my fantasies down on paper. I have not tried writing total fiction previously. Given my, let us be honest narrow range of experience in matters of the flesh to draw on, I am not sure if it will work. But let us give it a go.
Ramblings of an Old Man – Afterthoughts 04; What Could Have Been!
Janet arrived at my door in floods of tears. Her parents had just announced that they would be moving away. It was a done deal. Arrangements had been made ‘in secret’ over the past few months, which explained her parents' frequent absences. The move was to occur in a few weeks. Worse, Janet and her sister were to be farmed out to grandparents, while the house was packed and moved. I was unlikely to see her again after today. We hugged, kissed, and cried together. We swore to fight this, whilst knowing there was absolutely nothing we could do to stop it happening.
Our embrace was stronger and closer than it had ever been before. Janet clung to me like a limpet, and I naturally reciprocated. Despite the tears still streaming down both of our faces, our mouths, unconsciously, sought out the others.
We had never really done ‘displays of affection’ previously. Our relationship had always been strictly non-romantic, sexual experimentation. This was quite different. This was urgent. This was passionate. This was pure want and lust.
Without breaking contact, I manoeuvred Janet into the hallway and closed the front door behind her. We were ‘home alone,’ my parents both being at work all day. At that point in time, all I wanted was to spend what little time I had left with Janet, alone with her. Holding her. Comforting her. What came next was unexpected by me!
Inevitably our hold on each other resulted in intimate contact between our young bodies. Our kisses became increasingly frantic, and our tongues entwined and duelled. What started as innocent hugs of sadness and support, soon became mutual arousal. It was summer. We were both lightly clothed for the uncharacteristically hot weather we were having. I could feel Janet’s breasts, with their stiff little nipples boring into my chest. At the same time, my cock was starting to grow hard in my shorts.
These spontaneous feelings of want and need were new to me. All our earlier ‘sex play’ had been very matter of fact. Engineered and planned, without romantic intentions. My inexperienced mind did not recognise that this situation was very different, despite my growing erection. Fortunately, Janet did. With a hand that had been on the back of my head, forcing our mouths together, she reached down and grabbed my stiff member, through my shorts. Barely taking her lips from mine, she growled, “Titus, I want you. I need you. Now!”
The words came from nowhere, plain, and unambiguous, but still I was being too dense to understand what she meant. Slowly though the physical contact began to register. Her hard tipped tits crushing into me. Her hand gently stroking my cloth clad penis. The heat of her body against me. The musky aroma of her arousal invading my nostrils. Suddenly, like a flash bulb exploding in my head, I got it. Janet finally wanted to fuck.
As if she had seen my realisation happen in real time, Janet broke free from our embrace, took my hand in hers, and started to pull me towards the staircase. Still in my semi-stupor, I followed as she led me upstairs, into my bedroom and closed the door behind us.
Without further hesitation, Janet started to undress. First peeling off her t-shirt and light cotton bra, swiftly followed by her shorts and knickers. Later, she would tell me she was too impatient to wait for me to come to my senses and do it for her. She though wasted no further time in divesting me of my own clothes, meaning we both now stood naked, at the side of my single bed.
We were no strangers to each other's naked bodies. As teenage near neighbours (we were both sixteen by then), we had spent the previous year or so learning together. We had explored each other. Masturbated for the other to watch. Manually pleasured each other. Even had penis/vulva contact, but without penetration. So, we were both still ‘virgins,’ in the accepted sense of the word.
But that day, things had changed. It was as if I were truly seeing Janet for the first time. Not just as a mere practical lesson in sexual biology. But as a beautiful, sensual, wanton young woman, offering herself to me as a full-blown lover.
I could not help but openly drink in her nakedness. Her shoulder length brunette hair was tied back in a tight ponytail; a style that, for some reason, has always turned me on. Her face, arms and legs had been lightly tanned by the summer sun, contrasting starkly with the pale of her body. The pallor emphasised the thrust of her breasts. They were by no means large; but were full and firm, perfectly proportioned to her torso. Below her flat, slightly muscled belly, her sparse, untrimmed pubic hair was a perfect colour match to that on her head. It was thick enough on her mons to signify her sexual maturity, yet lower down, it thinned, framing her vulva to perfection. Her outer lips, by then pouting slightly to just reveal her pink inner labia, which glistened moistly with her excitement. Myself; I was so hard with anticipation now it was almost painful.
Yet, we both stood for several minutes, hesitating. Unsure now what we should do next. Eventually, it was once more Janet who took the initiative. She again melted into my arms. Pressing her hot body to mine. Her breasts and mound forced hard against me. My penis crushed between us, feeling the heat that was radiating from her.
As I slowly started to caress Janet’s smooth back and bum cheeks, she pulled me harder into her lower body. We were kissing passionately again, as she ground her mound against me. Exciting beyond anything I had ever known before.
I am sure Janet sensed I was on the verge of climaxing before we touched each other intimately again. She backed off slightly, broke the kiss and draped her arms round me, interlocking her fingers behind my neck. Then, displaying wisdom way beyond her years said. “Titus. This will probably be the only chance we ever have to do this. So, let’s enjoy it, together. We can do whatever you want, but we have time, let’s not rush.”
I was mostly at a loss as how to respond to that. But I wanted to be sure. I had asked her for intercourse before and been refused. Did she really mean she was now saying we could ‘go all the way.’ Stumbling over my words, I blurted back, “Are you sure that’s what you want? Anything?”
“Yes, Titus. Anything.” she replied, as she pulled me the last few steps to my bed, and sat me down by her side.
It was so strange. Just moments before, in typical horny teenage boy fashion, I was ready to just ram my cock into Janet, hump away, and get my rocks off. But now, with the promise that we would indeed end up fucking, the urgency seemed to melt away. As Janet had said, there was no need to rush. We did indeed have time; my parents would not finish work for many hours yet.
We took a few moments to ground ourselves, before leaning in to resume our kiss. As our tongues danced together, I felt Janet’s hand grasp my cock and start to slowly massage me there. We were still in familiar territory here. She had wanked me off many times before. She had in fact become quite adept at giving hand jobs, and already this was lining up to be one of her best efforts. As she stoked my shaft, her thumb would work beneath my glans, stimulating the sensitive frenulum, where cock head and foreskin met, making me squirm with pleasure.
As she slowly continued her ministrations on me. I reached across my body and caressed her nearest tit. Again, for some reason, breast play had not so far really been part of our sex games. But as I cupped and fondled, her nipple fell naturally between my middle and ring fingers, and I felt it harden to my touch, and she moaned softly in pleasure. “Mm mm, that’s nice, Titus.” Janet moaned. Emboldened, I continued, then repeated the process on her second pap, going further, lightly rolling the teat between my thumb and forefinger, getting an equally encouraging reaction.
Then came the first big shocker. Still grasping my rigid dick in her hand, Janet shuffled slightly away from me on the bed, then lent down until her face was in my groin. Without further warning, she extended her tongue and tentatively touched the tip of my penis with it. My glans was mostly still covered by my foreskin at that point, but even so, the sensation was like an electric shock to me. I shuddered at the contact.
Content that there was no objection from me and, I guess, that it was not totally gross for her, Janet slowly started to lick around my cock. Up and down the shaft. On the head, first still covered, then having released it with her hand, directly on the engorged bulb beneath, lapping up the trickle of Cowper’s fluid, that was leaking from me. I was trembling and squirming with delight by then and instinctively placed my hand on the back of her head, guiding her tongue to the sensitive base of my knob.
I do not know if that was a sign to Janet that I wanted more contact (I did btw!) but she took it that way. Hesitantly at first, then with more vigour, she parted her lips and started to take me into her hungry mouth. In truth, her technique was terrible. Her rhythm was faltering and stop-start, making it hard to concentrate; and she kept catching me with her teeth, making me yelp several times. But hey, this was my first ever blowjob, so I was not going to complain. Moreover, it was her first time giving head too, so a lot of latitude was due, and given.
Despite the lack of finesse, on both of our parts, I was never going to last long. The new sensations of a warm, wet mouth on my cock soon had me teetering on the brink. I tried my hardest to hold back; to stop myself tipping over the edge, but my efforts were in vain. I had never been here before, but I had read, in “mens’ magazines,” that the etiquette was to warn the girl of an impending ejaculation, to give them the chance to ‘withdraw.’ I tried my hardest to follow the protocol, but by the time I had got enough words out to convey my meaning, it was too late.
All control lost, the first dose of my emission escaped me with force, straight into Janet’s mouth. She got the message then, for sure. At light speed, she pulled away from me, holding the offending gloop in with firmly closed lips. This, of course, did not halt my ejaculation. The rest of my load spewed forth, liberally coating Janet’s face, chest, and tits with my teenage cum.
Janet froze. For a good 10-15 second interval, she just stared at me in silence, cheeks puffed out, lips sealed, as her brain processed what had happened. Then suddenly, she just guffawed with laughter. Part of her mouthful splattered out, landing on my belly, but the rest she must have swallowed. I could see the remnants of my seed, coating her tongue, as she belly-laughed. It was infectious and I started to laugh with her, though still unsure whether, or how much trouble I was in at that moment. Slowly, Janet recovered her composure and grinned sheepishly at me. I, it seemed, was in the clear.
Fumbling on the floor beside the bed, she grabbed my discarded shirt and started to wipe the sticky mess from her face and body. As she did so, she explained how she had read, and discussed with her friends, what happened when you blew a guy. But the actual experience still took her by surprise. That she would know better next time. (Sadly, that was not to be me, but I hope the lucky bloke appreciated the preparation she had received!)
Her cleanup finished, Janet returned to the bed. I manoeuvred her to lie down next to me. For quite a while, we just lay, hugging each other in silence, occasionally seeking out the others mouth with our own, to kiss still quite a novel thing for us. When one of us would cum, more often me than her, that would normally mark the end of our physical interaction. But this felt different, but my juvenile inexperience prevented me from understanding what should happen next. It took Janet to put me back on the right path. In a husky, seductive voice, she said, “I still want you.”
I was still being dense, and Janet must have seen that in me somehow. In exasperation, rolling her eyes at my stupidity, she went on “Titus, don’t you get it. I want you to do it to me. To screw me!”
The truth was that I did. I absolutely got it. But something inside me was trying to block that fact. Then it hit me like a runaway train. It was fear! Why? It was every 16-year-old boy’s dream to screw a girl. And there, right in front of me, was a girl. A naked girl. A girl almost begging me to fuck her. Why was I scared?
My young brain tried to process my reticence. All I could hear in my mind was ‘what if…’ What if I could not get it up? What if I could not get it in? What if I hurt Janet? What if it hurt me! What if I nutted too quickly? What if, what if, what if…
What if Janet lost patience with me and left, without us finishing what we had started. Again, it took Janet to move things forward. Grasping my right hand by the wrist, she directed it down her body, until my fingers touched her mound. I felt the soft fuzz of her pubic hair, moist from her heightened lust, and below it, the heat emanating from her inner sanctum. This action broke me from my stupor.
I was already familiar with Janet’s genitalia, and how she like to be touched and stimulated there. We had done that together often. Muscle memory took over, and I traced the indentation between her soft outer lips, gradually increasing the pressure, until my middle two fingers parted her, and contacted the delights within. God, she was wet there. Wetter than I had ever felt before. At least lubrication did not seem to be a ‘what if’ issue.
Becoming bolder again, I started using the techniques she had taught me, that got her off. Gently stroking and tugging her labia. Circling her hooded clitoris, then penetrating and rubbing the front wall of her vagina. As my hands worked on her down there, my mouth gravitated to Janet’s breasts. This was unfamiliar territory. But instinctively I started licking the fleshy mounds, working in towards the pink crowns of her areolae and nipples, which became engorged from the contact, tempting me to nibble gently on them with my teeth, drawing gasps of pleasure from her, as her hands on the back of my head pressed my face firmly into her tits.
After several minutes of this mammalingus, I felt Janet starting to lower my head down her body. First her chest, between her breasts; then past her belly, her navel, and her Mons Venus, until my face was directly on a level with her vulva.
Janet and I had ‘explored’ each other, on several occasions, but never had I been so close to her fanny. I knew what she wanted from me. But I decided to spend a few moments just taking in the close-up view of her. It was glorious!
Her plump lady lips were framed neatly by the sparse dark curtain of her teenage pubic bush. They were swollen and parted now, revealing her coral pink interior to its fullest extent. At the top of her cleft, bursting from the protection of its hood, her tiny clitoris, erect and pearlescent, above the mottled flaps of her inner labia. And at the base, the ‘grand prix.’ Wide from my earlier digital intrusion, the opening of her vagina. The entire area was liberally coated with beads of moisture, indicating Janet’s readiness for impending penile penetration.
Suddenly, my viewing pleasure was curtailed, as Janet firmly forced my mouth against her, making my taste buds take over from my eyes, allowing me to savour the sweet, sweet nectar of female sex for the very first time.
I had absolutely no idea what I was doing at that point. I had of course read about giving cunnilingus in those aforementioned magazines, but in that pre-internet era, did not have the benefit of porn to guide me. I just tried to emulate how I used my fingers on Janet, in a way that I knew she liked, but using my lips and tongue. I cannot have been doing too bad a job, as she was soon wriggling about in response to my efforts, and making appreciative noises.
I sucked, licked, and nibbled at, what I thought were, the right places. It was tiring work for a novice, but I persisted and was soon rewarded with a cry of, “Oh yes, you did it!” as Janet shuddered and twitched as she came. It was not the earth-shattering climax I might have hoped to give her, but she seemed to be content. She pushed me away to break the contact, and collapsed limply onto the bed, mewing in her residual pleasure. I shuffled up to lay beside her once more, nestling my face into her neck.
For quite a while, we just lay quietly together, occasionally stealing a kiss or a gentle caress; of breasts, nipples, penis, or vulva. Gradually though, those touches became increasingly intense, as Janet worked to bring me back to full hardness. When I was ready, and without vocalising her need further, she pulled me to cover her, whilst pulling her feet up towards her bum and parting her knees wide. It was an unspoken invitation to enter her now fully spread and open vagina.
This was it then. What I had dreamed of for months since Janet and I had started ‘playing’ together. It was time for both of us to lose that ‘V-card.’ I adjusted my position, to bring my cock level with Janet. With pounding heart, I aimed my throbbing glans at her slick entrance and stabbed it forward. I tried several times to achieve penetration but failed dismally to hit the target. With a loud, frustrated ‘Tut’ of annoyance, Janet, pushed me away a little, grabbed my cock, and located me properly at her opening and instructed me “Now. Push in now.”
I was now able to slowly inch my way fully home, until our pubic bones met. There was no hymen to bar the way. Janet and the others in her ‘girl-gang’ had deliberately rid themselves of that encumbrance previously, “To get it over with,” she had told me. But the feeling of tight, warm, and wet vaginal walls, gripping my tool for the first time, was incredible. If you have felt it, you know exactly what I mean; if you have not, sorry, it is indescribable, but trust me, you will be in heaven, as was I.
I basked in the glorious entombment of my cock for a few moments, unmoving. Then I felt Janet’s hips rise towards me, and her hands clench my buttocks, trying to pull me further into her. To start moving within her. There was absolutely no finesse to our coupling. Our movements were stuttering and uncoordinated, and my cock fell out several times, requiring us to go back to square one, and start again.
Eventually though, we established what could just about be called a steady rhythm. It felt good. So, so good. Too good in fact and I could feel myself rapidly approaching the end point. I told Janet I needed to stop a moment, or else!
“No, no,” she responded, “keep going, I want to feel it.” To underline her insistence, she locked her ankles across the back of my thighs to entrap me and used her legs to pump me harder and faster into her molten orifice.
This was too much for me. Just twenty or thirty seconds later, I lost all control and the dam burst. Despite my earlier output, I came like geyser, sending multiple bursts of my cum deep into Janet’s slick welcoming heat. I nearly blacked out from the hitherto unknown sensation of coming inside a female.
To that point, I had been supporting myself with my hands, arms outstretched either side of Janet’s head. But at the height of my orgasm, my strength had evaporated and I collapsed, bringing my whole-body weight down on to her. “Get off me” she grunted, “you’re squashing me!”
Her entreaty bought me back to consciousness, and I reluctantly withdrew my cock and lifted my weight from her. Rather than move away completely, I slid down between her still parted thighs, and rested my head gently on her lower belly, just above her vulva. Her dark bush was again right in front of my mouth, soaked with the joint products of our union. The damp, fragrant aroma there was intoxicating, and I could not resist extending my tongue and licking at her, to sample its taste too. Sadly, Janet stopped me, by placing her hands on my head to still my motions, though did not push me away completely. Just continued to cradle my head against her.
Once again, we lapsed into silent contemplation, both alone with our own thoughts for a few moments, until I felt the need to say aloud what I was thinking. “Wow! That was un…fucking…believable!” Then, as an afterthought, “Did you…?” leaving the inevitable question hanging.
“No.” Janet calmly replied, then cryptically added “I didn’t really expect to. But I did feel what I needed to feel though.”
I did not know how to respond to that right then, so I said nothing. Instead, I shifted our positions on the bed, so I could spoon behind Janet holding her tightly to me, as I mulled over what might happen next. It was warm, and comfortable lying there with her in my arms, so not surprising I soon succumbed to my tiredness, and dozed off.
Through the fog of sleep, I dreamt that Janet had disengaged from me, gathered her clothes, dressed, and left. When I finally managed to shake myself awake it was, of course, not a dream. She was indeed gone.
Now remember at this point, I was not an experienced, mature adult, who had only an hour or so earlier learned the ‘love of his life’ was leaving for good imminently. No, I was a stupid, selfish, immature kid, who had just fucked a girl for the first time. I was buzzing, and Janet’s plight was absolutely the last thing on my mind at that time. It was all about me!
It was not actually until early the following afternoon that reality hit me. Janet was going; may even be gone. But what had she meant by “I didn’t really expect to. But I did feel what I needed to feel though.”? Oh, holy shit…
I rushed out, and round to Janet’s home, just up the road from my own. There was no answer to my frantic hammering on the door. In desperation I tried the handle. It was locked, as was the back door, when I let myself through the side-gate into the garden. The rear curtains were open, and all looked normal inside. There was simply nobody in.
My head was spinning. I had had sex with Janet. Glorious, wonderful sex. We had gone further than we had ever done before. We had gone all the way. We had licked, sucked, and fucked. I had penetrated her, balls deep. I had cum my load in her…Oh my god, I had CUM IN HER!
I knew for a fact Janet was not using any sort of contraceptive measures; we had spoken about it often enough. It was one of the main reasons she had never wanted me to fuck her previously. And I was too focused on getting my dick into her the previous day, I had not given it a moment’s thought, until now.
Why had she let me cum in her? Had I forced her? No, it was consensual, I was certain. Janet had started it. She had wanted it, had insisted on it! Those words echoed in my head once more, “…But I did feel what I needed to feel though.” She felt me, ejaculating in her. She wanted me to come in her. What if she got pregnant? Is that what she wanted? Did she see it as a way to stay here? I had to know what was going on.
I knocked her door many times over the next few days. Finally, on the third afternoon, Janet’s mother answered it. I at once asked to see Janet. That I needed to speak with her, urgently.
“Janet has gone, Titus” she told me, “She is staying with her Grandparents now, until our move is complete. She will not be coming back here again. I thought she had told you this.”
I suddenly felt faint. I had to fight the dark shadow that was forming in my head, threatening to make me lose consciousness. When I managed struggle back, Janet’s mum was staring at me, wondering what was going on. I asked for Janet’s contact information, so I could get in touch with her.
“No, I do not think that would be a good idea, Titus.”
I protested. I begged. I was on the verge of tears. But she would not budge.
“Titus, Janet has moved on. Under the circumstances, it is best that you just forget her, and move on with your own life, too. Goodbye Titus.”
With that, she slowly, but firmly closed the door on me. For several minutes, I just stood and stared at the wood and glass barrier, that now separated me from an explanation. What had she meant by “Under the circumstances…” had Janet told her mother what had happened. What we had done. Had it dawned on Janet what the consequences of our final act of intimacy could be, and she had run away in fear; or was this what she wanted all along, for whatever reason.