| 2010-11-12 22:48:26 |
The Experience_(0)
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Good start. Readability and enjoyment would be greatly enhanced by good grammar, punctuation and paragraphing. I would also suggest avoiding minutiae and trivial detail that don't move the story along. |
| 2010-11-30 20:35:40 |
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Intriguing characters and story. I hope you will write more. |
| 2010-12-28 21:15:36 |
Laura_(2)
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A rarity: intelligent erotic writing. |
| 2011-04-08 21:12:29 |
A Family Thing part 4
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Sweet story nicely told. |
| 2011-05-10 23:40:05 |
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You KNOW they have to go back. Write it! |