| 2010-07-28 03:48:50 |
THE HUMILIATION OF JENNIFER
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First off- this story is very hot. However, there are some issues that I have with it. First, the dialogue sounds awkward. You might want to try making your characters a little less straightforward. Second, how can someone be surprised that someone isn't a virgin shortly after that person got fisted? And third, the idea of oral sex being considered more uncomfortable than anal wax play seems a little far-fetched for my tastes, even for a sex story. |
| 2010-08-18 03:46:47 |
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I couldn't read past the first paragraph between my inner grammar nazi cringing and my inner story teller trying not to gag. Spellcheck. Grammar check. And read the whole thing out loud to yourself to see how it flows. |
| 2010-08-23 18:23:18 |
Digital Chains, Chapter 2: People and Pets
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Thanks for the advice. I'll keep that in mind. Glad you liked the read. |
| 2010-10-01 15:51:54 |
Digital Chains, Chapter 2: People and Pets
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I honestly don't know. It seems to just be one of those things, but I assume that it's because my writing's good enough that people don't want to just repeat what my other commentators have said. That said, I'd like to thank all of my readers and say that I'm very glad that you like my story so far. I'll have the next chapter up this month. |
| 2010-12-02 01:40:00 |
Teaching Carol, Ch.6
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This kind of emotion and strength of mental bonds is precisely what I struggle to create in my own story. Thanks for being an inspiration to me, regardless of how questionable the morality of that inspiration might be. |