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Comments from SlamThunderhide
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2012-03-02 00:22:54 | Teen Fantasies Become Reality_(0) | I agree with the previous poster. It was rushed and the dialogue seems to be very artificial. And what the fuck? They go from losing their virginity straight into wanting to have kids and then molesting them as well? I understand that this is fiction but damn, that is a bit of a stretch. Short version is this: Don't give up, take your time to tell the story properly, and try to have it at least be somewhat believable. |