| 2012-06-14 22:04:35 |
my soul mate never thought to be part 5
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I really want people to comment give me new ideas something iv started 2 other stories and have another brewing in my head one of them connect to this one comment or rate |
| 2012-08-07 04:42:51 |
a good accident_(1)
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Anon reader below this comment my writing infintile really I know I'm not the best but I try. I write the words how people actually pronounce them not how there actually written. thanks for liking the story but I'm not perfect nor is anyone else |
| 2012-08-22 04:42:50 |
a good accident_(1)
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Just updating a chapter two is in the works but my college started so its going to take a couple weeks I thank all of the readers to taking the time to read and rate my story |
| 2014-07-13 06:05:07 |
Broken_(0)
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Second Chapter is up. |
| 2016-07-31 06:45:50 |
Staying Close to My Sister (and Mom)_(2)
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No offense but the use of the words "bro" and "sis" are cringy at best. I mean I guess its weird to critique an overall good story but there's no tension or build up. You describe a hot sister and a hot mom in great detail but you dont paint a great picture of their background there's no depth to it. It seems rushed which really kills the story telling part of it. Like I said I liked it but this wouldn't make the cut of a low budget soft core porno. |