| 2012-10-21 06:59:35 |
Robbie & Eve - I’m right here if you want me
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needs another chapter, look at your ratings, well written, however there are a couple small details that could have been left out to make the story a shorter, faster read, as the author you set the tempo you want the story read at so you can take this advice and use it as you wish. if you want people to keep reading your stories then keep writing them. so far your story has been well received |
| 2012-10-21 06:59:56 |
Robbie & Eve - I’m right here if you want me
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needs another chapter, look at your ratings, well written, however there are a couple small details that could have been left out to make the story a shorter, faster read, as the author you set the tempo you want the story read at so you can take this advice and use it as you wish. if you want people to keep reading your stories then keep writing them. so far your story has been well received |
| 2012-12-09 11:55:12 |
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I'd have to agree with Anonymous reader 2012-12-09 08:15:28, the timeline in your story is off a bit, and this seems as if you've just copied the story from somewhere else and changed a couple names and the ages, if this is the case please stop writing this story and give credit to the author you've "borrowed" the story from... if not please know I mean no offense by this comment |
| 2015-11-12 12:29:23 |
Extra Credit 5 - On the Run
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dude, you've outdone yourself with this chapter, with the cliffhanger ending I hope you're planning on writing a whole lot more, this is amazing and has the potential to become a novel. I see many possibilities in the future and I can't wait to see what you do with the story |
| 2015-11-12 22:39:07 |
Would They Call it Daddy Issues?
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future reference, watch the POV changes, one paragraph has 4 different changes going from, for example, "I am" to "she is" these get a little confusing, the only other issue I've noticed is mixing gender , using she when you intend he, otherwise great story, I'd love to see more |