| 2011-10-30 08:17:23 |
My Brother and Me part 1
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You use the word "then" way to much. Makes it sound like an annoying kid telling you a story that you cant wait until they finish. Nice concept though. |
| 2011-10-30 08:22:30 |
peeping tom_(2)
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This was definitely not the same ole same ole. The theme was awesome and the writing was great as always. Other authors on this site should learn from the build up that Aperv2's stories have. |
| 2011-11-02 20:00:21 |
Teen Lovers
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I wouldnt even bother with a part two on this story. The topic was not very interesting at all. This is pretty much a generic story and you could find hundreds on this site just like this one. |
| 2011-11-12 17:52:54 |
Aunt Chloe - Part 1
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I thought it was a good story. You did good for your first one. With some more practice you can become a very good writer. |
| 2011-11-29 18:14:45 |
Me and My Sister(Short Story)
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This wasnt even a short story, just rubbish |