| 2013-02-17 14:45:56 |
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What can I say that hasn't already been exclaimed. Very well written, punctuation issues seem to be disappearing. No uses of the wrong words or too much re-use of the same words that I could catch as I read. All in all another excellent chapter to Rhys's tale. I can't wait for the next one. |
| 2013-02-17 14:57:36 |
My Specail Talent-Ch.1
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Interesting story. Try to separate the dialog and use paragraph's. It will make the story more readable. Your descriptions are pretty good. Your word choice and sentence flow need a little work because you either mistyped or altogether forgot words in some places. Not a bad piece for a first story. f you want help with the writing skills, post in the Forum under Sex Stories and ask for advice and you'll get. I've taken to posting both on the story site and into the forum for that same purpose. |
| 2013-02-17 21:06:50 |
Modern Mage - Introduction (Edited)
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I figured that the house being blown apart from within explained that pretty well. He threw raw energy at his attacker, think of it an a miniature explosion. The Father and Brother survived as they were behind solid objects and protected from the blast. The little sister was upstairs and thrown from the house with the rest of the upper story. |
| 2013-02-18 11:08:06 |
The Hunters become the hunted part 3
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In due time their paths will again cross but I this story is less about the physical conflict and more about the turmoil and conflicting emotions they are each suffering. Fear not for they shall once again meet and most likely in the next chapter. I don't plan for this to turn into a 23 chapter novel in the way that the "Short Story" I called Modern Mage did. |
| 2013-02-18 11:24:15 |
The Hunters become the hunted part 3
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In due time their paths will again cross but I this story is less about the physical conflict and more about the turmoil and conflicting emotions they are each suffering. Fear not for they shall once again meet and most likely in the next chapter. I don't plan for this to turn into a 23 chapter novel in the way that the "Short Story" I called Modern Mage did. |