sexstories.com
Comments from Dino Aris
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2013-03-28 17:13:17 | FIre Class: Falling in Love | Oooooh nice plot! Great story! But your spelling and grammar, plz IMPROVED or you'll bring the story down! I suggest spellcheck and proofread. Its good you decided to diverge the story to your own idea. But the biggest problem I dare say is, what if JWDD does not approve of you using or tinkering with it. Thats the Mickey! You should at least try to get JWDD acknowledgement or approval first. I really hate to see this story go into limbo. But if it does, I suggest you create your own story using your current plotline. Other than that I got no objection on what you do. I really like where you're going with this story and hope JWDD has no objection. |
| 2013-04-14 15:31:11 | Fire Class Going To School | A different twist compare to JWDD original. I'm not going to compare which is better. But there were many spellings, grammar and word usage errors. Don't worry, I'm not trying to put you down or debase you. But constructive comments hopefully can help you improved. For eg 'Precocious', that's description were mainly used to describe badly behaved children. Cautious would be the correct words. Try used shorter and simpler sentences. There were many times I have to read and re read juz to grasp the true meaning. Nevertheless I still enjoy reading your story. So it's +ve vote for me. |