sexstories.com
Comments from DigitalDragon
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2013-05-29 01:31:10 | Betrayed_(0) | First of all I'm not a big fan of "cheating" spouses, and the fact that 2 of the main characters are cheating assholes, I already have no empathy for either. so right off the bat in the first chapter I'm already hoping that Niki and Chris get totally screwed over and hopefully even killed. but unfortunately since they were primary this chapter I have a feeling they will be around far too long. which also means I'll end up not reading many more chapters from this series. I'm also puzzled how this is "half" of the story? if so this is a really short story, which then makes me wonder why you mentioned more "chapters" meaning more than one more? As for Story telling, I say if you want us to see everyone's point of view, you might be better off next time writing from a 3rd person POV (narrative) instead of us jumping from one head to another. I'm still not sure I'll check out the next chapter, like I said I already hate 2 of the primary characters. making it so I'm actually sidin |
| 2013-05-29 01:34:09 | Betrayed_(0) | sorry my last comment was too long: here is the rest of what I tried to post. making it so I'm actually siding with the "Betrayer"(Megan) in the story and rooting for the rogues. Or are you considering all 4 of the main characters "Betrayers"? and if so then whats the point of a story with no protagonist? And finally I have to say, you really should use more descriptive TAGS like "Fantasy, cheating, male/female" to give us readers a heads up of what to expect. I would have skipped this all together if I knew ahead of time it had cheating in it. |