| 2020-08-14 17:23:39 |
my dream was to fuck marriane!!
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This story lakes any formatting that lends to being an easy read. It may, or may not be pure shit, I don't know I got a headache trying to concentrate on where I was reading. Nothing wrong with short paragraph's but dialog should start at the beginning of the paragraph. And there should be a lines pace between each of the paragraphs. You don't need smile and frowning faces, they do nothing for the story. ! should be used sparingly, and !! should never be used. and if you are going to give what some said, they should always be inside " ". Your assignment is to rewrite it and give a shit when you do. |