sexstories.com
Comments from Robsam1991
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2017-07-04 01:48:38 | Queen Yavara: Chapter Eleven_(1) | I know this may be a very counter intuitive criticism but i believe cutting back on the sex would serve your story well. You have a great plot and you have great writing skills. In the previous chapter, we knew the elfen king has been taken control by his daughter leviera. Your story needs to fly now. Skim over the sex unless it is nescessary for the plot. Or else it is just give your readers blue-balls over what's going to happen next. Secondly, i think Yavara's character and personality is too fluid. Too many changes to her personality. I believe you are altering the characters' personality to build up the depravity of the story. Yavara is shown to be compasionate from chapter 3 (controlling the rat scene) yet here she's shown to be willing to turn her subjects as food. It would be better if Titus is the one suggesting their fate, and Yavara countered only to be convinced by Titus that the girls' fate would be infinitely better as food than say, sex slaves. |
| 2017-07-08 16:28:29 | Birthday Present for Wife | @acrycin. Thank you for the comment. I thought so too. |
| 2017-07-09 15:20:43 | Lost and Found_(2) | @Yaowa & StoryWeaver990, Thank you for the comments. I'm going to keep writing this series though it may take a while. |
| 2017-07-19 01:39:04 | Lost and Found Chapter 2 | @sheila19 I will go into details about that later. ;) @storyweaver990 thank you for your comment. I will be writing new chapters and post them as soon as possible. :) |
| 2017-07-21 08:10:59 | Lost and Found Chapter 2 | @edmond There will be. I've already written half of the coming chapter. ^^ |