| 2016-03-18 08:46:56 |
Sister's underwear picture message Part 2_(1)
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so part 3? when abouts is that coming? |
| 2016-03-10 06:40:54 |
The Battered Lamp Chapter Ten: The Earthen Blade
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for those of you who know nothing of the Goddess Hecate, she is not some evil deity far from it in fact google her. |
| 2016-03-26 03:54:13 |
VIRUS SURGE: Chapter 3
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okay so next chapter is up well more of an interlude. but once the site approves of it I hope you enjoy it. |
| 2016-03-28 08:04:34 |
Information
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yeah still not sure where to take this story to be honest... dragons mating with the elf is a possible out come but we'll see what I get in the mood for. thank you for reading and rating this... well I guess its a trial piece |
| 2016-03-31 08:25:36 |
it happened on vacation (and continued at home) revised and reposted pt 9 thru 14
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ok so apart from the spelling and grammar errors, your story has much to be desired. while the plot was decent and had some alluring elements, it was lacking character development and realism. that being said I know this is a work of fiction but you raced through several things that should have had more of a build up. While my work is far from perfect and I do tend to make mistakes while writing, I do however go back and do some editing and get someone to proofread for me. at one part in these last few chapters during the threesome with His girlfriend and cousin I could not tell which one was doing what since you failed to name who the third party person was until the end. Which in fact was rather annoying and I had to skip most of that scene since you kept using "She" to acknowledge both women. You should clarify which was doing what thus allowing better understanding of the situation. so I will give this story series an overall 5/10. Also shit way to end it. cliffhangers are not fun |