| 2011-05-20 08:01:40 |
Waking Mom
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This story was very well written. It was definitely hot. I realize this was the teen's first time so he might not last very long. But if you make a sequel perhaps you could extend the intercourse portion of the story to a page or so (in word which is what I'm assuming you're writing in). Perhaps shift perspectives every paragraph or so and switch positions. Thanks for sharing. |
| 2011-06-19 09:55:19 |
Never in a Million Years Ch. 01
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This was a very well written piece. I loved the buildup and eventual release. I'm looking forward to reading the next parts and hopefully some hot incestual encounters. Thanks for sharing. |
| 2011-07-01 19:06:50 |
Freshman Year part 2
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So far this is a pretty good story. As has previously been mentioned this story needs to be broken up into separate paragraphs. If it's an issue of the uploaded file just save as plain text format (save as web filtered and then copy and paste into a text file from your web browser then save as plain text). I hope Erin becomes his girlfriend and that she turns out to be bisexual and they play with her roommate. That would spice up the story. I look forward to reading more in the future. |
| 2011-07-31 10:29:01 |
I found my sister stripping.
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You definitely have a talent for writing believable smut stories. I like your descriptions of Amber. She sounds gorgeous as do the other women. Perhaps you would consider choosing actresses to play these women and listing them at the beginning of the next chapter if you do. It will help us readers visualize them better. I look forward to John sexing up Amber and Dixie and taking things further with his sister (she still has another unexplored hole). Perhaps John can become their boyfriend. I know he couldn't legally become more with his sister but that doesn't mean they can't all be lovers. Thanks for sharing such a hot story. |
| 2011-11-12 11:53:12 |
Bait and Switch Ch. 02
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I have really enjoyed this series so far. I do hope your main character learns how to harness his powers without headaches coming on. I also hope this new girl becomes his girlfriend and doesn't have a problem with Gina and him continuing to screw. This new girl did say Gina was really hot. Perhaps you'll make her bisexual. That would be awesome. Thanks for sharing. |