| 2010-11-28 13:32:57 |
Hailey's First Time
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A Decent enough story, but way, WAY too short. An awful lot of things happening here but so little detail, it leaves a LOT to be desired. I would love to read more about what went on, how it started, what the boys were doing, why she deleted everything, etc. etc. |
| 2010-11-28 13:37:13 |
Hailey's First Time
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A decent start, but way, WAY too short!! There is a lot happening here without any background or insight. I would love to read more about what went on with the boys, how she got started doing this, why she erased the vids, etc.etc. Keep writing - just a lot more detail. |
| 2011-01-01 13:40:45 |
my frist time ever
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You have already been beaten up pretty well, but it's just plain rude to use all of the "texting" shortcuts like you were chatting with a friend while you drive. You NEED to find how to use the shift key along with correct words. Misspellings kinda just creep in, but when you START that way, you show that you have no respect for your readers. I agree with the first guy who said you need to re-do the writing and then re-post. I seems like a decent story - just too damned difficult to get through. |
| 2011-01-01 14:03:48 |
Daddy's Little Waitress
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A good read, and definitely looking forward to reading more. |
| 2011-01-27 12:33:37 |
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A very good story - and I'm curious to read more. As they say, "Truth is stranger than fiction!" Keep it up.... |