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Comments from Jswab
Date | Story title | Comment |
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2011-09-21 05:44:49 | Tori, the highschool cumslut | Good story, but a few things. For people talking, use quotes, not apostrophes. Why is mind control a tag? At the start of "David had just put his books in his locker", and all the way down, there needs to be a break after one of the periods, as it looks like just one big paragraph. The more cluttered it is, the less good it looks. |
2011-10-16 03:13:46 | Girls at the beach | I would proof read this, because you have quite a few grammar errors, which makes it more difficult to masturbate to. |
2011-11-16 17:17:45 | Sleeping with Jorja (Part1) | I liked the story, and I vote that you continue. However, you may want to change the title to "Raping Jorja", as sleeping with sounds like she consented. |
2011-12-06 11:35:09 | Meeting Alyssa | *Sigh* I apologize for the errors with the italics. |
2011-12-06 15:47:10 | Meeting Alyssa | @2 Anon comment For the most part, almost everything in this story happened. If I did make a part two, all of that would be made up. I'll start working on it later and see what I come up with. Thanks, everyone. |