| 2013-03-13 17:27:56 |
The Neighbors Daughter_(1)
|
If you are going to do a story with dialogue, there are these things called "quotation marks" that should be used. A story containing dialogue without "quotation marks" is impossible to read. |
| 2013-03-13 19:59:10 |
Walk in the Afternoon
|
Completely unreadable in this format. Paragraphs are wonderful things. |
| 2013-03-13 22:57:42 |
New town new business new setter
|
The story is totally unreadable in it's present form. If you are going to write a story that contains dialogue, you must use quotation marks. It is impossible to distinguish the dialogue from the narrative. |
| 2013-03-15 00:48:08 |
|
I agree with the others. Yours are some of the finest stories on his site. I look forward to the continuation of this story line. |
| 2013-03-26 01:51:22 |
|
Nicely done, as usual. Looking forward to the next one. |