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Comments from Danejarous
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2011-07-09 00:29:21 | I finally started got back to writing (sorry about the long wait), and I am happy I did because I didn't even move for seven hours today. I am going to bed now, and I should have the story posted tomorrow afternoon. Sadly, it is not the part four of this series, but the start of something else. I will get back to this series; I am just drawing a blank on this series and I want the finale to be perfect. | |
| 2011-07-10 11:37:22 | (two comments below) You want to post an angry comment, so I will reply to your comment angrily. Are you fucking retarded? Want to know what the most powerful aphrodisiac in the world is (google what aphrodisiac is because I can almost guarantee that you have no idea what it is)? It is sorrow, emotion, sadness; they realized that they only had each other left. If you want to link that to the fact that their dad died, then I think that you might be the fucked up person in this situation. I'm used to dealing with ignorant people like you. Nonetheless, I love tearing down hater's comments and making them look like the asshole. Please, at least put more than 6.3 seconds of thought before posting another comment. Yours truly, Dane. |
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| 2011-07-12 11:18:27 | Game of Thrones: You Fuck or You DIe: Chapter Two: A lion in wolves clothing | I am going to just assume that this is a parody of that television show (correct me if I am wrong). I am not going to lie, you know how to tell a story. I felt like I was reading a novel, and the story had a semi-enjoyable plot. I say "semi" because there was an abundance of grammar flaws that made a few parts hard to understand. You also flowed from a passive voice to a real-time as the story progressed (small problem that I have the same trouble with in my writing). All-in-all, this story was a decent read read, and the title is what captured my attention. "A lion in sheep's clothing" is a little too high on the badass meter. The rest of the title could have been shortened. Pos. vote ;) |
| 2011-07-12 11:20:20 | Game of Thrones: You Fuck or You DIe: Chapter Two: A lion in wolves clothing | Fuck: I meant "Lion in wolves clothing", sorry about commenting twice, but I guess I should have proofread my previous comment. |
| 2011-07-12 20:58:52 | a vapiric succubus part 1 | You have a pretty fucking crazy imagination my friend. The most important part of a story is the title (disagree if you want). The title is what makes the reader choose your particular story over another. That explained, I must say that I clicked on your story because I saw the word Succubus (a female dream-demon). I was a little curious about how someone wrote a story concerning a Succubus; so I proceeded to read this story. Explanations, explained, I have to critique your story. For starters, this was obviously not my forte, but I read the whole story anyways. One elementary tip I can give you is to PROOFREAD (countless careless mistakes). Also, try to avoid using words like "thing", a proper description would suffice. The sheer amount of imagination that went into this story could have been enough to make this story great. Alas, I feel like you rushed your ideas, and the overall story suffered. This story obviously will attract others, but throw other people off. Neutral vote. |