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Comments from Innocent-John
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2011-11-07 09:48:19 | My girl friend Kay | Hey, not bad! Use your spell check for words like site; when you mean sight. None of us are perfect, but little things like incorrect spelling can distract the reader and maybe spoil a good story. |
| 2011-11-07 10:25:24 | My girlfriend Kay #2 | I too shall be eager to read Part 3 of your story. I agree with Anonyinrc, a proof read is essential. I hope that you take up his generous offer. |
| 2011-11-09 07:20:46 | Caught_(5) | G'day there APerv2. I enjoyed your comedy story, the scenario almost believable. As others have posted, you need to improve your spelling and grammer. I see that you attempt to give your characters some depth, including use of the 'ga-head' phrasing. Was that supposed to be a family speech characteristic? With improvment, you could write dialogue for situation comedies or dramas. |
| 2011-11-13 14:13:14 | Mom's surprise at basic training | Bloody good story for a first-time effort, quite well written. I reckon on 8.5/10. |
| 2012-01-10 13:41:40 | I Was a Young Exhibitionist | What a naughty little girl you are! Come on, I mean - to, uncle John. You can polish my spectacles before your own new spectacle. |