| 2013-07-14 07:43:26 |
Fighting To Stay Frosty
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Your story is quite impressive for a first effort. Lots of little things wrong, but less than most first timers. Just thought I'd point out a couple of annoyances, for what they are worth. 1. Paragraphs need to be double spaced...and shortening some would make the story much more presentable...thus readable. 2. I suspect that the vast majority of guys don't care to read about 9 inch peckers when 99% of us are less than 6 inches (true stat). I don't think you have to give size in story. 3. I could be wrong on this as I'm an old fogy, but do girls getting fucked today scream out the word motherfucker? Do they even use it? I know society has bypassed me, but... Hope this helps. |
| 2013-08-08 05:00:37 |
Alien Son Ch. 3
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I'm not sure what the reason is that so many authors decide to post individual chapters, when they already have written the entire piece. All too often the separate chapters are just confusing and have no real value on their own. In many cases, I think doing it in that manner really hurts the ratings of ALL the chapters. That's the case here. May I humbly suggest that you simply respost this as one story, which is what it is, isn't it? |
| 2013-08-26 22:37:24 |
Tessie Triumphant
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Sadly on this site they don't give authors the ability to do over. It is a well written story which I think would have achieved a much higher rating simply by double spacing between the paragraphs. Online stories are annoying to read without that spacing. |
| 2013-09-20 09:56:35 |
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Whether or not this was a new idea is irrelevant. It was definitely new to the author and most readers, which is so very encouraging for future endeavors by this writer. BTW FB, I sent you a PM. |