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Comments from Piquet
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2009-04-16 08:56:18 | A Kiss (and More) for a Special Woman | Very nice Otzchiim. Althought I think that "clitoris" is such a clinical and unpoetic word, you've 'set' it nicely in poetic gilding. Well Done. - Piquet |
| 2009-05-15 22:12:16 | Where Am I? | Great start Karen. But you really need to do some more editing. See if you can get a couple of friend sto read your work first - a fresh perspective or two usually helps. I love the line; "Finally done with me, you peeled your skin from mine." This makes him sound like a real parasite ! Well done - keep writing girl. - Piquet. |
| 2009-05-28 05:04:51 | Defloration | Very horticultural in parts Otzchiim, but I liked it - and I'm glad you didn't rhyme 'match' with 'snatch'. Ovid's Ars Amaroria (The Art of Love) uses this type of imagery. |
| 2009-05-29 05:35:50 | Defloration | My mistake : Ars Amatoria. - Piquet |
| 2009-06-06 22:02:56 | Give me... | Lovely poem Eils. Give Me - two sylables that sound like a heartbeat. |