| 2015-03-02 21:49:04 |
Family Affairs (Niki and Olivia) (Ch.6)
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I really enjoyed this story. Hoping you'll write more, though it has been a while. There are unanswered questions, and some things should be clearer. Now that the site has edit provisions you can easily fix them. In particular, you rushed through his relationship with his Dad and his Dad's accident. This would be of great importance if you bring the Dad back for a sniper versus sniper showdown. Also, the part explaining the abortion and Teri is confusing, I think you meant for Teri to be his Aunt, then became the mother of his daughter Emily. |