| 2012-07-11 11:04:55 |
black daddy roleplay
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Again us " for dialogue and ' for thoughts. Now write a new one. |
| 2012-07-24 14:26:18 |
Desire Fulfilled
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A little choppy and moving from one position to the next was not smooth. Detail in some case very good. Keep writing and read others. There are some very good writers here, not me, and suggest you read their work. DO NOT STOP WRITING because of some negative comments. There are a lot of trolls here. |
| 2012-08-29 11:59:52 |
Teacher Take Student's Virginity
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I did not steal or copy any thing. |
| 2013-01-25 16:03:22 |
My Girlfriends Daughter_(1)
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Separate the story more to make it easier to read. Good story and nicely written. |
| 2013-01-25 16:04:57 |
My Girlfriend's Daughter Part 2
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A little better on the separation but still a little hard to follow for us old guys. Keep writing. |