2012-10-02 22:28:01 |
First time with the girls.
|
Good first time, but the past tense of cum is came, not cummed. Plus you have a lot of sentences that are runons. Other than that I look forward to other stories by you. |
2012-10-06 11:08:16 |
Twin Japanese Nieces Pt6_(0)
|
I wonder if Mark had sex with the twins and his sister. It seems to me like Mark and Shiori are interested in each other. |
2012-10-08 00:35:55 |
sex with my cousin jessica
|
You have the basis of a great story, but please use punctuation, correct spelling, as well as proper grammar. |
2012-10-08 00:41:59 |
stepmom grace
|
Learn to spell, learn proper sentence structure, and learn about punctuation. |
2012-10-10 10:06:34 |
Family Tragedy
|
Great job. Continue with this storyline it has great potential. |