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Comments from bigdaddyg123
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2018-01-03 08:49:11 | Sister's cartoon Video_(1) | "Sister's Cartoon Video - Part 3" - This PART 3 needs to be re-titled above as "Sister's Cartoon Video - Part 3", so that this version--Part 3--will appear under the Author's Index specifically as Part 3, rather than appearing as "Sister's Cartoon Video", indicating with the "Part 3" missing that there is NO "Part 3" or maybe even two versions of "Sister's Cartoon Video" without the "Part 3" indicator!! Confused?? Not as much confused as I was trying to figure out Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3. Correcting the name title above will cure the problem and confusion. Gratias!! |
| 2018-01-07 02:10:30 | Sister's cartoon Video_(0) | "Sister's Cartoon Video - Part 1" - Eighteen Year Old Adolescent Brother, Unnamed and Twenty Year Old Once-Fucked Sister, Margaret (Maggie). The writer/author should realize his stories will be considerably more personal and visual to the reader WHEN the characters are identified and named. Familiarity with story characters is a Win-Win for both the reader--and writer! Sister 'Maggie' has allowed her brother to become her second fuck--her first being filmed by someone unknown, while her boyfriend takes her virginity. Her brother blackmails her to not tell their father if she will allow him (unnamed brother) to fuck her! For those reader's with a vivid imagination of an impregnating-wishing incestuous pregnancy, Maggie and her brother are now in the throes of becoming sibling-parents to the (first ??) child. Maggie DID seem to greatly enjoy her brother's good job of foreplay, giving her orgasms and filling her mommy-cavity with child-rich sperm!! |
| 2018-01-17 09:56:52 | My Sister's Lotion pt. 1 | "My Sister's Lotion - Part 1" - Brother John ("Jack") and Jennifer ("Jenn" ) and her Friend, Amber. A few literary critiques to get a better story quality. There should be some type of age "recognition"! This factor puts the overall story in perspective. Another critique is "Jack" having a "horse cock" and Jenn and friend Amber having triple-D breasts, are not realistic--especially when the reader imagines the main characters being mid to late teenagers!! Two, the words, "fuck", "Dude" (in particular) and a few other swear words are over used. For the respect of anyone's parents, kids don't swear in their parent's presence! Finally, the story DOES HAVE a very good theme and plot; the character's dialogue is good, but needs work! There is OVER USED antagonism and bitterness between the siblings, and sister's friend. I did get "caught up" quite so with the suspense and game-play between the siblings; great thinking on the writer's ingenuity! |
| 2018-02-17 12:59:16 | Siblings Chain Attraction Pt1 | Sibling's Chain Reaction - Part 1 - Eighteen Year Old Brother, Jack and Twenty-one Year Old Experienced Sister, Jazlyn. Your story has not been so unusual--except for the incestuous love story that you and Jazlyn have so lovingly discovered! Personally, I've had an affair with my daughter when she was about your age. Nothing in God's Realm gives so much happiness and satisfaction as giving your love to each other--than being soulmates to a sibling--or a daughter! Give details of your parents; you're anonymous enough there should be no risk!! Your foreplay, "pillow talk" and love scenes need more intimacy detail. There was no discussion of birth control. You should give serious consideration of impregnating Jazlyn and having a family of four or five children every two years or so--seriously!! Please reread twice or more before posting; too many misspelled words and words used incorrectly. You definitely have idea and expression talent. WRITE MORE!! |
| 2018-02-17 14:38:30 | My Insecure Son | "My Insecure Son - Eighteen Year Old Virgin Son, Tyler and Thirty-six Year Old Divorced Mother, Unnamed. You're a sadistic teaser! A very loving sex starved mother easily gets her shy (girl-lonely), WELL hung mesmerized son into a fantasy of EVERY son's blissful state of desire and ecstasy...and ALL HE GETS is a hand-job!! You've got to be kidding! An adolescent, hung, week-old horny naked son, AND HIS MOTHER's fabulously well preserved, well endowed naked, fabulous breasts, HERSELF without sex (God only knows when she last had a dick in her atrophied pussy)--THE ONLY sexual release is son Tyler's hand-job by his mother!! The visual image, sexual fantasy this reader got (wanting a mother being fucked and impregnated by her horny son) is a stone-hard dick loaded with cum that could blow a monstrous eruption--I'm left with "blue balls"!! Great, eloquent writing; the character's play EXCELLENT roles fabulous dialogue! This story needs a romantic Ending! |