| 2018-04-13 09:58:17 |
NAKED LEGAL 3: Jake's Team
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I feel you played this out really well. Robbie. |
| 2018-04-13 09:53:03 |
NAKED LEGAL 4: Trap Set and Sprung
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Not convinced the punishment is sufficient but maybe it will prove to be as you develop further stories around these characters. At least leniency for Grace would have seemed worthwhile. Good ending with Marjorie and Mr Franklin. I am still hoping for a slow development of Mark’s character as Grace teaches him and he gradually learns to be increasingly dominant with the submissive Grace and grows a more authoritarian persona generally. Be great if he, the least likely, becomes the one to control her and push her boundaries the most. Perhaps he will become more dominant with others also. Looking forward to your future stories. Robbie. |
| 2018-04-17 03:18:04 |
My wife and friend part 4
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Enjoying how this plays out - please keep it going. Robbie. |
| 2018-04-11 05:16:41 |
NAKED LEGAL 2: The First Day
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Great continuance. I hope the burgeoning relationship with Mark develops further: it seems to offer the most possibilities. Again a little more prof reading reading but overall top class. I would though point out that covering up the mouthpiece of a modern day telephone does not mute the sound pick from the microphone. Kind regards, Robbie. |
| 2018-04-10 07:24:54 |
NAKED LEGAL 1: Beginning
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Excellent start. A little editing required early on, most obviously the change of name to ‘Hanson’. Robbie. |