| 2017-11-07 08:12:50 |
Valedictorian turns Slut
|
Good story, girl. Believable. Stories written by women have a different perspective I much prefer. Thank you. Well written also. Random Robbie. |
| 2017-11-07 08:24:23 |
Valedictorian learns to blow
|
Hi again, Another excellent, well written, enjoyable story. Thank you for entertaining me. I wanted to offer my help as a proof reader or with anything else but cannot see a way to contact you. I cannot find you online. Hopefully, you will be posting the Random Robbie. |
| 2017-11-07 08:49:28 |
Valedictorian learns to blow
|
Hi again, Another excellent, well written, enjoyable story. Thank you for entertaining me. I wanted to offer my help as a proof reader or with anything else but cannot see a way to contact you. I cannot find you online. Hopefully, you will be posting the Random Robbie. |
| 2017-12-27 20:08:58 |
Cheryl 3some P2
|
Hi, This is a really good story. My only crotocism would be that it is a little quick. More description would slow it down a bit. Also more build up from the first story. I believe most people like a story to tease and build tension and crescendo before delivering a climax. Readers ideal is to get there with the characters. Your story is over before anyone can do that. They then move on to another story for satisfaction and give that the score. I have yet to read Part 3 but I am hoping it delivers. The basics are good: story idea etcetera. Why not rewrite starting with Part 1 and take your time etcetera. This has the making of a great series. |
| 2017-12-27 20:09:08 |
Cheryl 3some P2
|
Hi, This is a really good story. My only crotocism would be that it is a little quick. More description would slow it down a bit. Also more build up from the first story. I believe most people like a story to tease and build tension and crescendo before delivering a climax. Readers ideal is to get there with the characters. Your story is over before anyone can do that. They then move on to another story for satisfaction and give that the score. I have yet to read Part 3 but I am hoping it delivers. The basics are good: story idea etcetera. Why not rewrite starting with Part 1 and take your time etcetera. This has the making of a great series. |