sexstories.com
Comments from Cybrgigolo
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2010-11-05 21:57:46 | My daddy made me his slave | Whew! Ummmmm ... where to start? Ok Jenna - instead of apologizing for spelling and grammatical errors - just fix them. Definitely need to expand this a bit more and write with more detail - doesnt always have to be just the sex part - the build up is what makes the sex parts good! Also watch your spacing. Paragraphs are a good thing with a space between them - just makes for easier reading. By all means dont quit - but read some of the other stories on here and see how some of them do it. I am not saying it has to be mine - but browse through a few and you will see what everyone means. Good luck in your writing. |
| 2010-11-05 21:58:21 | My daddy made me his slave | Whew! Ummmmm ... where to start? Ok Jenna - instead of apologizing for spelling and grammatical errors - just fix them. Definitely need to expand this a bit more and write with more detail - doesnt always have to be just the sex part - the build up is what makes the sex parts good! Also watch your spacing. Paragraphs are a good thing with a space between them - just makes for easier reading. By all means dont quit - but read some of the other stories on here and see how some of them do it. I am not saying it has to be mine - but browse through a few and you will see what everyone means. Good luck in your writing. |
| 2010-11-05 22:19:09 | My daddy made me his slave | Whew! ... Ummmm where to start?! OK instead of apologizing for spelling and grammatical errors take the time needed and proof read your story and fix it. Definitely need to add some more details to the story. Yes everyone likes the sex parts - but the build up to that is what makes the sex parts great! Also watch your spacing - paragraphs are a good thing! It just makes reading your story easier. Go through several stories on here and you will see what I mean. Doesn't have to be mine - just browse a few. You will find examples of both. Hope that helps as you did ask for suggestions. No vote this time just hints. Hope you continue to write and improve on your skills. Enjoy! |
| 2010-11-05 22:19:28 | My daddy made me his slave | Whew! ... Ummmm where to start?! OK instead of apologizing for spelling and grammatical errors take the time needed and proof read your story and fix it. Definitely need to add some more details to the story. Yes everyone likes the sex parts - but the build up to that is what makes the sex parts great! Also watch your spacing - paragraphs are a good thing! It just makes reading your story easier. Go through several stories on here and you will see what I mean. Doesn't have to be mine - just browse a few. You will find examples of both. Hope that helps as you did ask for suggestions. No vote this time just hints. Hope you continue to write and improve on your skills. Enjoy! |
| 2010-11-05 22:19:35 | My daddy made me his slave | Whew! ... Ummmm where to start?! OK instead of apologizing for spelling and grammatical errors take the time needed and proof read your story and fix it. Definitely need to add some more details to the story. Yes everyone likes the sex parts - but the build up to that is what makes the sex parts great! Also watch your spacing - paragraphs are a good thing! It just makes reading your story easier. Go through several stories on here and you will see what I mean. Doesn't have to be mine - just browse a few. You will find examples of both. Hope that helps as you did ask for suggestions. No vote this time just hints. Hope you continue to write and improve on your skills. Enjoy! |