| 2009-08-23 22:04:40 |
The 16-Year-Old Tease 2: Tease Harder
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Great start on both chapters. Hope the series continues. |
| 2009-10-01 22:45:57 |
Lauryn Goes to Disneyland
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Will echo what everyone else has said and what is obvious - proof read for clarity and spelling and grammar - did make it hard to follow in several spots. |
| 2009-11-04 03:28:54 |
Daddy's Toy
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Hope you continue the story |
| 2009-11-30 22:53:23 |
Sophies home alone...part1
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Spacing - plain and simple. A little to quick to the action too - especially on the horse part. Not bad but need some help though. Please keep working on this though. |
| 2010-04-01 01:44:58 |
The Awakening - Chapter 1
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Chapter should be excedllent - just as chapter 1 was. |