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Comments from Preverted1
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2011-07-04 15:14:20 | Different Dads, Different Daughters - Chapter 5 | Anonymous @ 2011-07-04 13:22:55 Remember, back in Chap. 4, Ryan mentions their lake cabin . . . ? You're welcome to write a sequel! I'm on to other ideas . . . . |
| 2011-09-24 03:04:38 | Feeling My Daughter: Part One | Very descriptive and well-constructed. My only negative comment would be that you might want to expand your inventory of adverbs and adjectives. The same ones in two successive sentences tends to break up the descriptive flow that you're trying to achieve. Overall, a very good presentation. If the information of your profile is accurate, you have a definite flair for writing, both erotic and non-erotic. Do us all a big favour, and keep writing and working on your style. At my age, I don't find too many youngr people with as much talent as you're showing in this story. Oh, and if you have time, a Part 2 would be well-received . . . ! |
| 2011-09-24 03:05:02 | Feeling My Daughter: Part One | Very descriptive and well-constructed. My only negative comment would be that you might want to expand your inventory of adverbs and adjectives. The same ones in two successive sentences tends to break up the descriptive flow that you're trying to achieve. Overall, a very good presentation. If the information of your profile is accurate, you have a definite flair for writing, both erotic and non-erotic. Do us all a big favour, and keep writing and working on your style. At my age, I don't find too many youngr people with as much talent as you're showing in this story. Oh, and if you have time, a Part 2 would be well-received . . . ! |
| 2011-10-01 17:31:24 | family home prt2 | So far, we've had two chapters of introduction. Can we expect to get to the meat of the story, while I'm still on solid food? If you're happy with a level of text construction that's about as low on the scale as it can get, fine. If you want your work to be read and enjoyed, go back to school and learn how to write! |
| 2011-10-12 13:56:01 | The Island Part 1_(0) | The talent's there. Keep working on it, though, and you'll become a much more effective storyteller. |