| 2016-05-02 00:17:37 |
Obsession, Lust and Perversion - Chapter 3
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Incredibly hot story and well-written, but two of the paragraphs were huge blocks of text. You could try cutting them into smaller blocks next time. Thanks for the story, glyn. |
| 2016-05-03 23:11:02 |
The Date_(1)
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There were some errors in punctuation and one of your paragraphs was bigger than necessary. Work on breaking up your huge paragraphs into smaller ones (although sometimes a huge paragraph is necessary) and know when to use a comma, a period, and quotation marks for dialog. Other than that, I thought this story was adequately written and extremely hot! Thank you, Brice, for taking the time and effort to write and submit this super sexy tale. I enjoyed it immensely and have added it to my favorites. |
| 2016-05-03 23:24:06 |
Lost Empire 21
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Brilliant sci-fi, Pars! Such a great series from a hugely talented storyteller! |
| 2016-05-03 23:54:41 |
SPACE FLIGHT_(1)
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James, you have great talent. You just need to know that tabbing doesn't work on this site. Your paragraphs are meshed together which makes the text look ugly and improper. Rather than tabbing, you should just press the Enter/Return key twice at the end of each paragraph to make a blank line. Blank lines are the substitute for tabbing here and make the text easier to read. Apart from your paragraphing issue, your stories look really good. |
| 2016-05-03 23:59:04 |
AMERICAN CZAR_(1)
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This is the kind of paragraphing that is suited to this site. And this story is very well-written. Excellent work, James. |