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Comments from Viewer1060
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2015-02-10 03:55:15 | The Most Beautiful Creature | And then,after the bedroom doors had opened,a pair of nude humanoid beings had walked into the room with a smile on each of their faces and the male half of the pair said,"Hello, Jessica knew they were a pair because 1. they were holding hands , 2. they looked like twins, 3 she had met they in a vivid astral experience, etc. Andrew Troy you skipped over telling us what this pair looked like. Hair color, hair style, eye colors, height, and body style. I guessed they were light blue skinned. |
| 2015-02-10 04:40:43 | the zargons 2 | i apolgised walked away. blackmail tym Not fixed I apologized and walked away, thinking blackmail time. Fixed Cherri- Blue are you really 14 years old ? |
| 2015-02-10 04:59:49 | Nike A Go Go Pt. 1 | the barren desert, which is named "No Man's Land" in a very cliche way. I alomst forget the reason we're driving. Spell Check would have caught almost. A stone cold sober proofreader would have caught your style problems. Is English your second language ? |
| 2015-02-10 05:17:24 | The Ordinary Girl_(0) | Tracy collapsed beside Felicity and asked between breaths, "Well... What did you think?" "I think I'll be back tomorrow." Felicity told her new lover. Is it dawn in the French Quarter ? Would not Tracy either take Felicity to breakfast or prepare breakfast ? This is a story of a seduction. A proofreader may have asked about the ending. |
| 2015-02-10 05:45:29 | Hallowicked_(0) | " My ears fall upon the smacking sound being made by her rump falling on my upper thighs," Mr. Writer in your story you use italicized which is not available here in Comments. Thus I cannot flag " fall" the third word in your sentence. |