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Comments from pyroclast
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2019-01-25 22:03:00 | Sleepover_(0) | Please edit your work before you submit it, there are too many mistakes - spelling, 2nd/3rd person swaps in a sentence. Otherwise OK. |
| 2019-01-26 07:47:12 | No Man's Land (UPDATED~89,460 words) | I can't understand why some people give this story a negative rating/ Are they jealous of the writer's success? Whatever, please ignore them, they are sick souls. I look forward to further chapters, and continuation of the series. |
| 2019-01-26 07:47:14 | No Man's Land (UPDATED~89,460 words) | I can't understand why some people give this story a negative rating/ Are they jealous of the writer's success? Whatever, please ignore them, they are sick souls. I look forward to further chapters, and continuation of the series. |
| 2019-02-02 10:53:25 | "RUNAWAY" Chapter 11 "The Person in The Mirror" | Again I find your story intriguing, but also again I skipped the very unsettling flash-back to Holly's torment. I really think that you need top back off with the flash backs, the horrors portrayed are no longer needed, they are just fodder for sick minds. The fact that Joseph is about 4 times Holly's age is important, he has become a "grandfather" figure for her; and for as long as he stems his sexual arousal and keeps a sane mind, the story has merit. But Holly is 15, not 25. She has yet to develop her sexuality and lose the harms done by her mother and especially the brutalising male (I refuse to humanise him by giving him a name). Keep writing, but please turn this into a romance and lose its horror background. |
| 2019-03-15 09:23:25 | Our First Meeting, Our First Time | Very juvenile writing. I suggest that you read some of James Dean's works to get the feel of mature writing. Or go back to school and learn to write. |