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Comments from pyroclast
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2020-07-03 11:55:38 | Kate and Dylan - Twins in Lust | The smell of sex sticks to the inside of a car in cold weather like shit to a blanket and would be very apparent the next day followeing the Burger Hut exploit. I guess the parents are heavy smokers and their diminished sense of smell from smoking prevented them noticing. |
| 2020-07-08 10:09:31 | Holiday Break | I have to agree with Coach, if you are going to write stories for others to read, strive to do your best - near enough is NOT good enough. I have noticed that you use the word "stutter" as a synonym for "shudder", perhaps unintentionally or in ignorance, just as you confuse "your" with "yuo're"; it shows that your command of English is lacking. I suggest that you get a copy of "Roget's English Words and Phrases" and use it to check the lesser used words in your writing. I really like your stories, but the errors are very grating and spoil the read. |
| 2020-07-08 13:02:09 | Hypnotizing Whitney_(1) | Yes, a beautiful story, but marred by the shutter/shudder problem; the cause? using a spelling checker rather than a text editor tha senses meanings is a probable cause. Look for a text editor on the internet and get it on a trial basis, then feed it with the problem texts containing your when you mean you're, and shutter when you mean shudder wich are the main problems. |
| 2020-08-06 09:34:00 | Naked Day - part 7 | Just be a bit more careful with the proof-reading - Jimmy/Johnny mixup was poor. |
| 2020-08-26 15:05:05 | In Riley's Arms: Part 4 | Ah! The "Perils of Pauline"!! C'mon, just so unrealistic,. Sure some women like "Bad Boys" because they excite them and fuck them very well;' they even think that they can "reform" them!!! But there is absolutely nothing in Dean to attract a woman. He's mean, egotistical, violent, demeaning, cowardly, and a bully. A loser, and all women hate losers, so why is Holly attracted to this scumbag? C'mon author, tell me. Just too implausible, and screwed up. Sorry, but bad, bad story-line. Hope you do better next time.. |