sexstories.com
Comments from achimvw
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2019-09-11 12:00:28 | Checking Out the Guys Hidden Porn | Great story but the constant change from first person to third person perspective (even in the same paragraph) is annoying. |
| 2019-10-16 12:08:23 | Sisters in Slavery prequel chapter 01 A Master's ascension | A solid story but improvements need to be made to make it read better. A solid proofreading would eliminate some of the spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes. Also the use of asterixis is annoying. |
| 2019-10-21 12:44:54 | banging Bernie | Serious proof reading required. |
| 2019-12-02 19:02:50 | My Step-Daughter #2 | Is there a #1? |
| 2019-12-03 13:26:25 | Young awakening | To make the story flow better you need to maintain consistency on the tense of the narrative (past or present). You are changing the tense - sometimes in the same sentence. |